Feeling guilty when talking about D.I.D. with T?

I have SO many questions running through my head right now. Not even sure why I'm digging around and exploring mind and life lately...think I'm just tired or something.

Just a quick question...and I'm sure it's been asked a million times already.

Did you feel guilty about talking about D.I.D. with your therapist at first?
I've been seeing a therapist for years (5+) and we both acknowledge that I dissociate...but we haven't explored it much because I keep telling her I don't want to cause I'm afraid exploring it will make me crash.
But at the same time...I really do want to open up to her and explore it more. I want to list her all the symptoms I have and explain to her just why I feel I may have D.I.D., I want her to tell me what she thinks (she suspects I may have D.I.D.).
But I always feel so guilty about it! And I don't even know why...or where the guilt and the shame come from.
She works with at least 3 other people who I know of with D.I.D. so I think she's pretty experienced with it...but I feel so scared, and I feel so bad! Like I'm a bad person if I bring any of it up with her. I'm not suppose to and I don't know why.
Do any of you ever feel like this?
And I'm always afraid she wont believe me, or that she'll think I'm faking it or even wanting it just for attention. I don't know why I feel this way as she's NEVER given me any reason to have this fear. She's been very supportive of me and has never shown any signs of doubt in anything I've ever talked to her about (she didn't even show any signs of doubt or disbelief years ago when I was convinced there was a ghost living in my apartment).
Is this a common fear?

This must all sound so dumb. xP
I just found this forum yesterday randomly (don't even remember how I came across it to be honest haha) and everywhere I look I'm finding things I relate to!
For some reason I just feel like typing and asking a TON of questions! Even questions I can answer myself.
I just think I'm looking for comfort from others who I can relate with. . .or maybe comfort isn't the word. Maybe it's acceptance?
I just don't know xP.

Some days i feel guilty about talking about it or eachother even with my SO or another friend of mine who has DID. I think it is a pretty normal feeling to have. It doesn't sound dumb at all.

It is never something to be ashamed of. it is a part of you, like it is a part of me, and a part of everyone else on this forum.

You can pm us if you ever want to have someone to talk to. We're always happy to meet new souls

I think DID systems are 'born' to be secret. So beginning to talk about it with someone, even someone you trust and have known for 5 years, throws up all sorts of fears and guilt and other complicated feelings. Just be sure to share your feelings about telling your therapist with him/her. It will lessen the intensity of those feelings I'm sure.

-B