I'm new and fed up

[EDIT: Have gone through and removed possible triggers but may have missed some!]

Hi everyone. First, I'll give you a little background.

I'm 27 years old. I've grown up with and still live with an ultra-Conservative and Christian household. Now, there's nothing wrong with that but given what I've been through and am still going through without them knowing is wearing me thin.

I was forced to go to counseling at a young age and I told said counselor just enough to keep her satisfied, never enough to get me healed. I regret that now, as I've come to realize that I may be suffering from DID as result of my past. I am severely stunted in growing up and I'm tired of it. I don't drive, I have very few friends now because many friends I've had have just drifted away.

I do think that, subconsciously, I cling to that little child that was hurt so badly, resulting in just one personality of many. I also no longer identify as female and with my current living situation, there's no way I could outwardly act on this, and that just makes things a million times harder. I have support, but I can't lean on them so much anymore because they have productive lives that are being disrupted by me.

I thought that maybe this board would be a good way to start talking and maybe give me the courage to climb out of the pit of depression and co-dependence I've found myself in. Thanks for listening!

While we're far from the most active members here, allow me to welcome you to the forums. Everyone here is very friendly and would be happy to help you in any way they can.

One suggestion, however. Even mentioning abuse can be triggering for some members, so please be wary of that. We try to place warnings around things like that, usually just with a simple TW:...:TW bookending the potentially offending phrase. If you would, please edit your post. It didn't affect me, but some members can be very sensitive.

Again, welcome to the forum, and we hope you can find some healing.

-Jeff

Thank you for the warning and welcome, Jeff. I've edited my post as best as I could without the meaning being lost. I don't expect to be that active myself, but just to know that there are others like myself is a great start for me.

Absolutely, this forum was an amazing discovery for us, and helped immensely in understanding DID and coping with the idea that I may have it. There are some incredible people here.

It's late over on our side of the world, so I have to hop off, but there always seems to be someone around here. The best of luck to you, and we hope you find what you're looking for!

-Jeff

We've done a very similar thing (with holding information during therapy) and we've come to regret it a bit as well. It is hard to be open and honest, especially when you are not the one who originally initiated the therapy.

Telling the full truth in therapy can be a scary thing.

*tw* We grew up in a similar household so we're very familiar with the oppression and constant judgements. Our 'family' still hasn't realized the original has passed on as of a year ago It can be so frustrating when the ones you want support from remain so oblivious to well, the obvious.*tw*

Wishing you guys luck on your healing journey

Hi and welcome! I hope being here is very helpful for you.

Hi. It's good you came to post here. Dare to snitch on your bio a bit more

I also no longer identify as female

Do you identify as male or as nothing in particular? I am the second case. Very hard to see myself as either. But something tells me you may suggest the first option.

and with my current living situation, there's no way I could outwardly act on this, and that just makes things a million times harder.
eh. sorry to read that.

I have support, but I can't lean on them so much anymore because they have productive lives that are being disrupted by me.

Are you positive their lives are being disrupted by you? Are you disabled and/ or something else (I am picking out of my own hat here trying to guess what you may be saying here.)


Do write more. Waiting to hear from you, best!

Hi and welcome here This is a great place for support and I'm happy to see some people here have been able to write to you Best of luck going forward.

Hi TiredandWorn, I just wanted to say hi, and I am sorry I could not be more help to you. I am glad you found some place else to look to for help. It is always good to expand your support base and reach out and find others like you. This is a great step for you and I wish you the best of luck in what you seek for here.

Your Real LIfe Friend,

Isaacs

Thank you for the warm welcomes, this place is a breath of fresh air to finally know that I am not alone in what I suffer with.

Isaacs thank you I know you tried to help me as much as you could, I am sorry that you have become so tired. Thank you for suggesting I look elsewhere, for help when everything became too much for you.