Here We Go Again (Frank & The Bloody Nose, Pt. 2)

Well, here's where I stand right now. Frank's not answering written letters. He's not answering txt's. And I'm having trouble staying up. Tonight, that changes. On my desk, pretty much right in front of me, is enough Red Bull to keep me wired for a week. If Frank doesn't want to come to me, then I will go to him. Rock'n'roll, baby .

3:21am A violent spasm, switch, gone. Frank comes out. Between then and 4:28am (The last time I remember before blacking out), we discussed what had happened to my nose 2 weeks ago, and the idea of journaling. Also learned as soon as I think of what I'm gonna say to Frank, he automatically responds to it. In the words of Frank (Pardon his foul mouth, it makes me and D look polite) "What happened was, this ######6 guy started running his ######6 mouth to me. So I ######6 took a swing at him, and he hit me with a bottle across the nose; hence just bleeding not broken. Good thing this body is ######6 tough, I knocked the $#%^ out of that guy for it. No, I'm not gonna get any broken bones. Don't worry. Look, I'm sorry I got your nose all ###$ up, alright? But thats what happens. I go out, drink, and occasionally get into a fist fight. It happens. Sorry." And as for the idea of journaling, he hates it because he's afraid my mother will find it, and then spaz will send me right back to therapy. And then he made fun of the fact it would freak me out a lot. "You'd cry like a baby! Ha ha ha! 'Oh no! I'm ###$ up!' Ha ha ha ha!". And the getting freaked out thing is also why he won't txt. But after a while, he said he'd consider txt'ing since I can delete them so no one but us will read them. And he said if I got a journal, he might write a thing or two down. And then I tried to remember what had happened to me, I don't know if what I saw was real or not, but here goes. Frank positioned his body like he was tied up, his mouth open like he had one of those ball gags in his mouth. Then the image of my uncle punching me repeatedly came to mind, in which Frank shook violently after each hit. I don't know if there's any truth to that, but it does explain why my uncle always seems to look at me funny. Like he's sorry for something. 4:28am, I blacked out.

HEY BATES,

SOUNDS LIKE A BREAK THREW. FRANK IS READY TO TELL YOU ABOUT SOMETHING HE WENT THREW, THAT YOU CAN'T REMEMBER YET. AT LEAST THAT'S MY OPPINION. MY ANGERY ALTER SWEARS A LOT TOO (IT CAN BE VERY IMBARASSING WHEN HE SHOWS UP) HE HOLDS MORE MEMORIES THAN I DO. HE'S MY PROTECTOR.

BE PATIENT, WHAT FRANK TOLD YOU ABOUT YOUR UNCLE IS
PROBRABLY TRUE. YOU WON'T KNOW FOR SURE UNTIL FRANK, THINKS YOU'RE READY TO KNOW. FRANK IS PROTECTING YOU. THAT'S WHY HE'S THERE. DON'T PUSH IT, OR HE WILL MOST LIKELY CLAM UP.

MY ALTER HELD INFORMATION FROM ME FOR THE LONGEST TIME. HE STEPPED IN WHEN BAD STUFF HAPPENED TO ME AS CHILD. HE KEEPS MY PAST A SECRET, UNTILL I'M READY TO KNOW, AND MAKE SENCE OF IT. I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO ME WHEN I WAS A CHILD.

NOW THAT I'M AN ADULT AND IN A SAFE PLACE, (HAVE CARING PEOPLE AROUND ME, AND NOT THE PEOPLE THAT COULD HARM ME)I'M GETTING THE ANSWERS I SO DESPRATELY WANT TO KNOW. THEY ARE THE MISSING PIECES TO THE PAINFULL PUZZLE I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND. AS AN ADULT IT ALL MAKES SENSE, BUT I'M TELLING YOU, IT IS EXTREMELY PAINFUL FOR THAT VERY REASON. THINGS WERE MUCH WORSE THAN I THOUGHT THEY WERE.

SO BE PATIENT, (I KNOW IT'S HARD) AND BE GOOD TO YOUR SELF. WHEN FRANK KNOWS YOU CAN KEEP YOURSELF SAFE, THE ANSWERS WILL COME.

TAKE CARE, AND GOOD LUCK!
BENNY

Thank you for your kind words. What you say does make sense. When we first met, he didn't want to tell me anything. But last night (or this morning rather), he said "Alright, you wanna see?", showed me that little clip, and at the end said in an upset voice "Happy now?". But yeah, finally making progress with Frank, its definitely a relief. And don't worry, I'll be a good little boy and not annoy Frank too much . In all seriousness, don't worry about me. I have 2 great alters looking out for me, and I'm against suicide and self-mutilation. Trust me, I'm a real tough kid, I'll be fine.