DID?

I started to go to a therapist to get rid of sociophobia and there i've discovered some kind of duality in my personality. I have like two points of view on everything: one is rational, cold-hearted the other irrational, compassionate, like feminine. For example if murderers should be killed instantly (they've murdered, that's enough to stigmatize them) or have help from a psychatrist to became a better person. Both came out of me. I don't know if that's DID or if I'm just undecided. A lot of times I do something irrational (the sociphobia and emotions) and then ask myself why have I done that (Example: I was walking to three girls, until I've not reached them everything was fine, but when I was betwen them it was just "Go away, go away, walk faster, go away!" and after leaving them behind "Why that?"). I often contemplate about my behaviour too.

Is that sociphobia or DID?

And sorry if there are mistakes in the text, english is not my first language.

Sounds more like questioning yourself. Probably from low self-confidence. But what the hell do I know? Thats just how it sounds based on how you're describing it.

Nikolala,

Hope you are discussing these things with your therapist. Could be lots of things going on, and not DID.

DID can take a long time to dx. And, I once read that most people with DID don't know they have multiple personalites at first.

Based on your description, could be so many things. You said you contemplate your behavior. Do you hear voices in your head commenting on your behavior, actions, etc. Also, do you feel that a dual personality (which feels seperate from you) actually takes control of your body and behavior and you are just a helpless bystander watching? Do you ever discover you have done things you don't remember doing?

Whatever is going on with you, sounds like you are experiencing a lot of turmoil there - sorry for that.

Keep talking to your therapist. Only a professional can dx DID. And that can take a lot of time. Wishing you the best.

stolen

Probably I'm just searching a cooler disease than sociophobia.

Its not as glamorous as its made out to be. Some people its too scary for, some people embrace it, and others aren't even phased by it because its just another aspect of their life to deal with. But yeah, its not as cool as books and movies make it out to be. I used to think that too, before I realized I was multiple. I think I was either playing Clock Tower II or watching Paranoia Agent, and I had a nice conversation with a friend that went like this:

Me: Wow, imagine if I had split-personality?
D: Yeah, that would just be something...
Me: What?
D: You're an idiot.

D's one of my alters, the one I've been talking to all my life, way before even realizing I'm multiple. Just another aspect in my life.

I too can talk to myself like that, but after a few minutes my head starts to hurt. But how can I know if I'm faking or not?

HI,

IF YOU "REALLY" HAVE IT, YOU DON'T WANT IT. I DIDN'T KNOW TIL I WAS 43YRS. OLD. I CAN LOOK BACK NOW AND SEE HOW IT HAS BEEN THAT WAY AS FAR BACK AS I CAN REMEMBER. WHAT I REMEMBER ARE SEGMENTS OF TIME. WHAT I TRIED NOT TO REMEMBER IS BEYOND HELL. SOMETHING YOU WOULD NEVER WANT TO GO THREW, OR REMEMBER.

FOR THAT REASON I DEVELOPED ALTER PERSONALITIES, TO BE ABLE TO GO ON LIVING. IT'S LIKE THE PERVERTS DIDN'T DO A GOOD ENOUGH JOB KILLING US PHYSICALLY, SO THIS IS WHAT'S LEFT.

I WISH I COULD ESCAPE THIS HELL, BUT THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO DO IT. IF THINGS DON'T GET BETTER SOON, I'M FREEING MYSELF.
STILL WANT D.I.D.? I HOPE YOU DON'T HAVE IT, IF YOU DO, GOD HELP YOU. WHAT EVER IT IS, IT WILL TAKE A PROFESSIONAL TO FIND OUT.

BENNY