dissociation without memory loss?

Does anyone here have dissociation without memory loss?

Also, can dissociation be where you start to mimic and take on the characteristics of other people, or does the personality of an 'alter' need to originate in your own mind?

Hi, Madison.

I might be wrong, but i am pretty sure dissociation can occur without memory loss. Not all dissociative disorders have memory loss as a criteria or symptom. In depersonalization and derealization it is not mentioned as a criteria or symptom. Also, dissociative disorder not otherwsie specified (DDNOS) may or may not have memory loss. This can very much like DID but lacking all the criteria required for a DID dx. So the person could have alters.

If you are asking can DID occur without memory loss, i have found that is debatable - depending on the source your looking at. Some DIDs claim they don't lose time but are co conscious when dissociation occurs. I've also heard it said that some people are amnesiac for the amnesia, though, and don't realize they lose time or have memory loss. According the the DMS, memory loss is criteria for dxing DID.

Not sure if any of this helps. From my own expereince, i do have memory loss. Sometimes, i have amnesia for the co consciousness and only remember later - usually, in bits and peices, that i was there.

Hope this helps a little bit . Take care.

stolen

Madison,

Just wanted to mention that i have read that alters can be patterned after abusers. I even read once that that they can be patterned after characters out of books and such. Or, someone's ideal of 'the perfect child" etc.

Based on the above, seems to me they could be patterned after characteristics of other people, but not sure. Just my thoughts which could be totally misconceived.

That being said, i think if a person is particularly impressionable, the same thing could happen without having DID or dissociation- could start taking on characteristics of another person in their life.

Take care,
stolen

DID with Co-consciousness.

That's what I got. I don't exactly lose time, but I am very different time to time. When I am stressed out, I drift in and out, and have to remind myself to come back and take charge of my life.

I forget what day of the week it is. Don't even get me started on time....I can hardly rememer what time it is.

Some times, like now, I feel confident and is not afraid of anything. Yet other times, I am full of fears I cannot express.

Today I had an encounter with a bully...one minute I was shaking, feeling helpless and close to tears. The next moment, the shaking was gone, I was making eye contact and speaking like a sailor while confronting the bully. I know one of me came out and took charge, and of that I am thankful.

How do I know I am switching?

I feel chilly, cold spasms..

My eyes feel grazed over, and sometimes I need glasses to drive, while other times, I don't.

In some modes, (like now) I don't write too well, get my tenses mixed up and have to check and recheck my work for spelling.

It's all me. But I get overwhelmed at times, which paradoxically is also the reason I am glad I am a multiple.

I just wish I was more predictable. More constant.

oh welll. Life is good. It damned better be

I know when I switch with D cuz my body gets tense all over, while my mind floats back.

Frank, my body goes into a violent series of spasms. After seeing his sad story (really mine), it only makes sense.

I really don’t know what happens when I switch. I go back and someone else comes forward, and I am a voice inside their head. Sometimes, it feels like there are two of us here struggling for control and I am being pushed in and out. Someone else’s attitude, will, emotions, desires, warring with and trying to override and uproot mine. Someone else, moving my body, their face masking mine, tyring to take control, influencing me. Other times, i lose total control and am way in the background, barely there. Often have headaches afterwards. I also seem to have a lot dizziness stuff.

If something triggers someone, can happen real fast. Guess I am just not sure what happens to the body at the time, though. Think I might shake some, but not sure.

Just my experience.

Take care,
stolen

with me I'm in a tight spot and don't know what to say, and then my eyes do something weird, and I can't see straight for a few seconds, I've zoned out for a few seconds, and either I'm cussing like a sailor, or acting quietly composedly polite, or a sarcastic evil girl. I gave them all names, weird I know, but its like I'm in the mind, I see everything, but I'm not saying what I'm saying. I see things differently. I say things differently. I have a different posture. It's truly strange, but over the years, I've come to rely on them. I don't have memory loss. But I am a different person. They can talk to me too, do not say anything strange about it, please. They would want me to do this, or that, and they don't like how I act or something, and i will let them 'take over.'

madison wrote:Also, can dissociation be where you start to mimic and take on the characteristics of other people, or does the personality of an 'alter' need to originate in your own mind?

I think what you describe is more about not having a self. Or rather what Winnicott called a 'real self'. For example if a person is a people pleaser, s/he will be likely to not have a 'real' self but a self that adapts to others needs and wants. When those people grow older they will be more likely to search for clues and behaviours in others that seem acceptable or desirable because they do not know who they are [what they like and dislike etc]

An alter, a part of the psyche develops because of fright without solution. In other words an alter can develop when the psyche's capacity to deal with an experience is overstreched and the body cant get away. I have found that this probably happens at first under the age of 5 when real pain is experienced but once the defence of dissociation is the usual way of dealing with pain, the psyche can dissociate and even create new alters when there is no 'real' danger but 'just' perceived danger. But it is ALWAYS because of pain or danger. Real or imagined.

I sometimes think I don't have memory loss, yet when I return from a switch I usually am unaware of where I am or what took place. When someone who was there describes what happened to me the remainder or most of the memory returns yet still it happened like a dream. I do lose time in a sense, but sometimes after some stimulation I can remember most of what they did. Yet-- some things that are said by them I do not remember, it is more of what physical actions take place. Aside from very emotional conversations.

We of course communicate with each other and tell our stories that way too.

Me and my best friend are logging the instances so its a good way to stay reminded of what happened. Although when I am alone things are a lot more hazy or after some time I forget what took place. Usually when I am myself, I can remember most things.