Just freaked myself out on these forums*TW*

I was reading a mans story and I decided to stop reading these painful stories.
And some of the shocking people it was to triggering and upsetting to many others.
But I do lurk the aspd forum sometimes. Somehow they don't trigger us. Some of them have a very good sense of humour too.

I also lurk in the Just for fun forum that's good there

tribeofone wrote:@Ithrean,

I respect that - though I want to apologise if you felt I was diminishing or invalidating your experience. This was not aimed at you, it was aimed at the guy in the other forum and the world at large.

I recognise that male rape survivors are in an especially vulnerable position not despite, but because of what I described. They are victims of rape culture as much as women, but they have no "sisterhood" to fall back on and their voices are even more silenced.

For me feminism does not necessarily just encompass women - it encompasses anyone who is a victim of predatory patriarchy, and that means male survivors as well.

I'm sorry I haven't made that clearer and again, apologise if I've offended you.

So after Boy got to vent through his triggers, I did want to come back and see how this thread turned out. You are totally forgiven, though I really wasn't offended so much as triggering from a particular sentence. It wasn't anything I didn't already know, but Boy has this ridiculous notion that at some point all the trauma will turn him into a monster, and... well. You can read the thread if you want where he works through some of the trauma from that initial event from our childhood.

I appreciate you noting the lack of voice victimized men have on this subject. We're shamed into being silent, and part of it comes from this notion that all men understand all other men somehow. I don't begin to understand or empathize or have any insight into my rapists... and I couldn't begin to honestly. So... all that to say, no offense taken, and totally no worries for how things went on my end. I saw the trigger warning when I read it, so not your fault

As an aside, I've found checking out the poetry section to be a pretty fun adventure. I'm tempted to post some of my work, but honestly I just like all the people in this sub-forum so I'm a little nervous to branch out.

Peace.

tribeofone wrote:I used to hang out in the psychopath's section, somehow I like those chaps. Fascination of a car crash I suppose.

Thank you.
I read your post earlier in the day and it started me thinking.
Ended up on ***LINK TRIGGER GORE - well good old tumblr gruesome : http://friendlyneighborhoodpsychopath.tumblr.com ** in the end, which is a blog full of tips on how to manipulate people.

It reads like a how to guide to our childhood.
I guess we needed one Part of us to really, truly believe all that shite.
Mara will need to be reading all of that first hand. In small doses I guess..
Just ever so slightly pissed that for so long she accused me of not having a conscience but she flat out refuses to allow for that possibility in the person who played all these games. With a fecken three year old!

So, thanks. Just that one sentence. Very. Very. Helpful. This is going to help. No doubt about it.

the Mal-Dez-Project-Mara-Team

We used to watch several forums on here but now only follow this one. Some we are in agreement that we shouldn't watch because it just triggers us too much, others would just take up too much time.

I like it here, the atmosphere is very good, thankfully.

Hope you're feeling less triggered now. (safe hugs) if wanted.

I agree with Tomboy.

Those people come here to get help. They want to get better. That's a good thing. I don't know what they would be like when they wouldn't get help with it, but it'd be worse. So I'm glad they're coming to that forum and trying to heal.

** trigger warning **
(This is my opinion. Please stay away if you're offended. It's about pedophilia)
Personally, I don't consider pedophilia a disease, just like being non-straight. It's unfortunate they're like that. Honestly, I'm sorry for them having to live that way. Gay and lesbian people can be themselves in a good way. Pedophiles can't.

@oaktree

I disagree on the latter point. Unlike gays and lesbians, they feel attracted to people who by definition cannot give meaningful consent. That is a massive difference.

** possible trigger: genders etc. **

Well, yeah, I get that. I think then it's merely a discussion of what's considered a disease. When taking a broad definition like anything that hampers proper, healthy, happy living, then yes, it could be considered a disease.

tribeofone wrote:Unlike gays and lesbians, they feel attracted to people who by definition cannot give meaningful consent. That is a massive difference.

True. I didn't want to say they should or should be allowed to. Just being like that (excluding acting on it) does not have to imply a disease. (Again, this depends on what one considers a disease).

I didn't entirely get it but I think I agree with the 'feminist rant'. Yes I'm male. Doesn't mean I've not wondered why the heck there's such a difference in what's considered appropriate between the genders. (Disclaimer: at least some parts of me seem to be female, or at least identify as female. But I've had those thoughts even before I was consciously aware of their existence as different parts, in the DD sense.)

I disagree on the latter point. Unlike gays and lesbians, they feel attracted to people who by definition cannot give meaningful consent. That is a massive difference.

As someone who is gay I just want to say I agree.

*trigger warning*
Pedophilia, to me, is on par with any other sexual variant (however you wish you define that) that includes being sexually attracted to someone or something that cannot give meaningful consent. In here lies also zoophilia and necrophilia for instance. There is a reason one is sexually attracted to someone who cannot provide consent.

*major triggers*
On a different note. One of my previous therapists said the exact same thing (that it's on par with being gay etc) and then went on to say "so you should take your part of the blame for what happened, you were 5 years old after all - you had some consequence thinking [e.g if I act like this, this person will hurt me]". Let's say this became a touchy subject afterwards.

Whether or not it is a disease can be discussed, but equating it to the same "variable" as being gay seems to me is taking it a bit too far, considering.

Take this post with a grain of salt. I am slightly triggered (not much).

Ok, I'll leave the whole disease vs no disease out then because that's subjective.

** trigger warning **

lifelongthing wrote:There is a reason one is sexually attracted to someone who cannot provide consent.

Um, could you explain? I don't see that reason myself. I honestly don't see why it's not just another sexual orientation.

I'm having a hard time engaging in this discussion, I apologize.