Difference in behavior inside vs out?

I've been thinking about this for a little while.

We have two alters who age slide when they are inside, but stay a permanent age outside.

Jacob is anywhere from 11 to body age inside. This makes sense because he's a father inside to two boys and when they play, he's 11, or if he's alone with Cassie they play together or do things together. Other times, he's older and takes care of the kids and Cassie etc. He's well rounded, funny and protective. He talks and enjoys his life a lot When he comes outside though, he's 11 and intensely scared, doesn't talk and communicated through blinking.

Cassie is anywhere from 11 to body age inside, which makes sense for the same reasons as Jacob. She's a mom and is well rounded and protective and witty and quite Xena-ish and wants justice and all of that. On the outside, she is the same, and is the body's age.

This kind of make sense *trigger warning for defined roles etc* because they are twins and there seems to be Jacob who is an EP and Cassie who is an ANP. *end*

But why are they both so happy and safe and "normal" inside, when Jacob isn't at all like that outside? He doesn't seem traumatized by much at all on the inside. He's lived his life in there for years of course, and he knows the difference between inside and outside, so that might explain some of it.

Anyone have anyone be like this?

Logan is the same way. He flips out whenever he is out and is pretty normal inside. I think this is because being out makes them nervous. They don't feel as safe out, you know? but they are used to being inside.

Yeah, probably.

Jacob is so calm inside, but outside it seems like he's stuck in flashback mode. He doesn't seem to know what year it is, that our abuser's aren't anywhere near, how old we are etc.

I hope he's able to in time

Does he seem to know what year it is and all of that when he's inside?

Yes He seems present and grounded inside. He knows the body's age (and can be that age). He's not like "It's 2013" off the top of his head, none of us do, but if he thinks he can without much effort know that it's "2013" (or in the beginning of the year, 2012, because he's not usually out for celebrations, so he doesn't always catch when it's one year vs the other etc).

Hmmm, I wonder why he's stuck in the past whilst out. That is confusing. I wonder if Logan is tsuck in a flashback while he's out....

I hope you guys work eerything out. I know that it get's stressful when they are freaking out on the outside.

Thank you

I'm sure in time we will figure it out Hope things for Logan improve as well

Some of my insiders were not oriented to the here and now when they first came forward. This is normal. And yes, often they are "stuck" in a flashback. That is why it is a flashback! It is not the here and now.

Thank you Una. I think that is indeed what is happening. Will have to help him with that then

Not quite the same thing, but Gemma is very different inside from how she is when she's out. Outside, she is angry, aggressive, confrontational, antagonistic... basically an angry teenager. Inside she is far more relaxed, friendly, I've even seen her smile! My theory is, when she's out she has a job to do: Protector. Inside she gets to be more herself. Maybe Jacob is sort of the opposite? He's a parent inside and as a parent you can't afford to let your emotions get the better of you too much. Maybe being out, for him, is also a time when his emotions/memories are less under control?