How are you today thread (trigger warning)

I looked briefly at the example of a book (look inside first few pages of a book on some book sites) about Dissociation Trauma last night.

Juno said 'they want you to get rid of us'

Even if I recognise that some alters are 'past me' and some are creations of their minds .ie The Changeling there is still the issue of 'current me' having Juno. even if the guardian and SG walk-ins voluntarily leave and move onto the next life or re-incarnate to become our next real life pet, Juno and I made a pact many years ago in her last form ....I would never forget her and she would never leave me.

The book seems to consider 'I' haven't got 'got better' until I deny the existence of the others and live totally alone as a singleton believing there are no others 'inside' to support me ...I can't see..given my current situation of having to be isolated due to the pandemic and inability to relate to people probably and the fact I don't have any real life friends ...how this is going to help my mental health.


One of the biggest issues during the pandemic has been loneliness for many people who are at risk from covid and live alone and isolated. One thing none of us have ever felt badly is loneliness because there were always the others on the inside..even if we didn't always get on and appreciate each other in the past!

I look at how much an elderly neighbour has declined in mental health and never getting dressed because they can't get out and don't see anyone except their cleaner and dog walker and we have thrived because we're constantly learning about each other and though the last year has been challenging in parts our brain is constantly engaged because of 'the others inside'...yes its exhausting sometimes and fatigue levels have been challenging and sometimes nothing gets done all day but in a 'mental health crisis' (that we're always been told in the news the country is going through) WE are at an advantage! 'I' alone wouldn't be!

YunaTheSummoner wrote:The book seems to consider 'I' haven't got 'got better' until I deny the existence of the others and live totally alone as a singleton believing there are no others 'inside' to support me ...I can't see..given my current situation of having to be isolated due to the pandemic and inability to relate to people probably and the fact I don't have any real life friends ...how this is going to help my mental health.

That used to be the focus on therapy before circa the years 2000-2010 (or some other recent date?) The up-to-date treatment plans are about "Reach final fusion if you can, and if you cannot, functionnal multiplicity is fine".

The modern therapy recognizes that all alters are important and deserve nice things and deserve to exist and to be heard. This is what is found in "The haunted self", in "Coping with trauma related dissociation", in "Healing the fragmented selves of trauma survivors", in the ISSTD guidelines... All the modern and up-to-date books, really.

ArbreMonde wrote:

YunaTheSummoner wrote:The book seems to consider 'I' haven't got 'got better' until I deny the existence of the others and live totally alone as a singleton believing there are no others 'inside' to support me ...I can't see..given my current situation of having to be isolated due to the pandemic and inability to relate to people probably and the fact I don't have any real life friends ...how this is going to help my mental health.

That used to be the focus on therapy before circa the years 2000-2010 (or some other recent date?) The up-to-date treatment plans are about "Reach final fusion if you can, and if you cannot, functionnal multiplicity is fine".

The modern therapy recognizes that all alters are important and deserve nice things and deserve to exist and to be heard. This is what is found in "The haunted self", in "Coping with trauma related dissociation", in "Healing the fragmented selves of trauma survivors", in the ISSTD guidelines... All the modern and up-to-date books, really.

Hi this is Kit..(I'll just use a different colour text as I don't have our own account any more).

Yuna got in a flap cos Juno convinced her the book was really saying she should get rid of us all to be normal! I read the bit she said she read...and it doesn't say that all!! ... It's just telling people how to 'ground themselves'. Personally I think we do ok at that as we have to keep 'one foot in reality' to take care of the dog's needs...or maybe I'm the only one that does ok at that!

It was the one you had mentioned to her on her Journey page 'Coping with Trauma dissociation' .. so what I've done is downloaded it so I can read the whole thing properly this weekend. I think some of it won't relate to us but looking through the chapter names, some could have potentially useful information for us for the future, so its worth the price of the kindle version.

I have read 'The Haunted Self' before the stroke but think I'm gonna have to read it again to remind myself of what I read the first time!! ..we're still kinda running on 'half capacity' compared to where we were previously!

Kit

Oh I see what the problem is!

To "ground oneself" does not mean "to stop being into contact with the Innerworld" it means "to be more in contact with the physical world". It allows to react more easily and more adequately to the surprises of everyday life, be less overwhelmed, less anxious, to feel more secure...

It also means "bring all your insiders / alters / headmates into contact with the here and now so they can see everything is safe now and so they are less scared of the past". It helps to deal with anxiety and trauma triggers too!

It has absolutely NOTHING to do with pushing away the inside reality of the Innerworld!

ok the system reshuffle is done (for now)... we are now 'Yuna-Lee', we will keep this same account name to save further confusion! ..and the Avatar kind of fits with both parts joined as one and the Guardian of our system (the dragon representing Phoenix - now promoted to 'Guardian of the Inner world')


so technically there's 2 separate alters up front cos 1 is made of a fusion of 3 and the other is made up of a fusion of 2.

So 'Yuna' is;

Me (Teens S/Adult Susan)
Juno (previously M now re-incarnated and age-slides to match my age)
SG (Incan Spirit Guide)

'Lee' is Bobby + Kit - as they strongly felt their old names did not 'fit them' and once Bobby had 'grown up' they are so alike it was impossible to tell where one starts and the other ends and they would only ever agree to fuse with each other. Bobby 'growing up' after being stuck out up front with me for months has added stability to their selves. They represent the 'autistic side of me'. Though saying that there has been much less autistic behaviours and better control of 'panic responses'.

They both wanted a short practical name that could be either male or female and is also their tribute to M because the letters (of the name) are within the mothers real full name and could have been a shortened nickname (though was never one she personally used).

Little Susie has chosen for now to remain separate and stay in child form on the inside.

She will still visit though she apparently now has her own duck farm on the inside with a big garden like a field with a swing in it!! ..so she can swing and see the ducks everyday...and ride her (virtual) little red bike round!

Phoenix seems to have at last learnt responsibility and has now been promoted to 'Guardian of the Inner World' Anyone not mentioned is because they have chosen to remain 'insiders' and do not wish to be identified by the outside world.

Congratulations on the big work on re-shuffling everything! Well done everyone!

SYSTEM CRASH! ..well the 'fusion' lasted about 4 days!

S got on scale this morning..bathroom scales showed we had lost weight (well some of the water weight) so got wii out again to start new profile again.

Seems that scale is brutal! .. marker still shot up to obese and her lovely slim Mii she had created to match her her inner teen body ballooned.


cue persecutor .... <you cam probably imagine the rest> needless to say S has disappeared inside, so as she had Juno and SG are fused, they also gone inside with her..leaving me (K - everyone's seperated again..B went back inside too!) outside to deal with the deliveries!

.decided to stick a note on the door saying "Isolating (covid), please leave parcel on doorstep" and open door when they've gone back up driveway!

We were supposed to be phoning the surgery together to ask about blood test results and Yuna usually takes over those kind of conversations..will either have to leave it to next week and hope she comes back out or ask if they can send results via email cos landline/minicom isn't working (they wouldn't usually)! or wait until its fixed (or in other words ...wait until Yuna comes back out to deal with it)

ah well...3 rooms are a bit tidier anyway, though we now have the ipad and the straps for the switch exercise game missing and can't remember where they were put!

Getting better is never a smooth ride! There are a lots of bumps and falls along the way!

But, you managed to stay blended/fused for a few days, and it's already awesome as it is!!

__
Myself I'm doing my best to keep stable with all the kitchen issues. The persons who were supposed to fix everything, sent me an email saying they refuse to do it because the damage is done by another person than me. (Really made me want to sledge-hammer the whole appartment and then ask them if it's okay now that *I* have destroyed it all.)

Also the workman for the kitchen wants to avoid any legal action and offers (through the councellor) to pick up where he left. Thing is, he does NOT have the tools nor knowledge to fix things up. So I'm answering to that email by explaining I refuse he touches anything but rather pays a real pro to do it all for him.

ArbreMonde wrote:Getting better is never a smooth ride! There are a lots of bumps and falls along the way!

But, you managed to stay blended/fused for a few days, and it's already awesome as it is!!

__
Myself I'm doing my best to keep stable with all the kitchen issues. The persons who were supposed to fix everything, sent me an email saying they refuse to do it because the damage is done by another person than me. (Really made me want to sledge-hammer the whole appartment and then ask them if it's okay now that *I* have destroyed it all.)

Also the workman for the kitchen wants to avoid any legal action and offers (through the councellor) to pick up where he left. Thing is, he does NOT have the tools nor knowledge to fix things up. So I'm answering to that email by explaining I refuse he touches anything but rather pays a real pro to do it all for him.

That sounds like a proper nightmare! Housing still hasn't made an app to repaint our ceiling, we thought it maybe soon after they emailed to say 'we are aware you are still waiting' a few months back now but seems not!

..found the joycon straps for the switch exercise game, I'll do that tomorrow now..though all the stretches and balance games the physio recommended are on the wii! fit.

Now we can't play any cos it won't let you access anything as new player without getting weighed first and she can't cope with seeing the Mii so 'round'! ..its impossible to cheat on the Wii U cos if you try and sit on rollator seat and just stick feet on board even with weight forward or aren't holding the handheld screen up in right position you just get message 'I can't find you' from balance board! I don't know why Yuna had to delete the old profile! ... cos I'd achieved the goal on that one for Maddie at the time and unlocked all the games! - K

Kit has a prediction....she thinks we will successfully merge/fuse after the peri-menopause ends.

She bases this on the fact we remember most of our 'imaginary friends' from our teen years when puberty began, though this of course doesn't include 'Bobby's memories' (if they have any from pre-7)..being non-verbal for all the bodies life (until very recently) they have never been able to tell us. They still rarely speak for social purposes even though they can now physically speak and prefer the inner world, seeing it as their true home.

So Kit believes once the hormones that triggered puberty ends then the system will naturally stabilise. Obviously we won't return to being 12! ..and even if we stabilise enough to reach fusion permanently, there will still be a new awareness of what 'self' means that didn't previously exist. but nevertheless she predicts if we're ever going to reach 'fusion' it won't be until after the menopause phase ends.