How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Nice work David. Maybe you changed something.

Colin

So tired of dealing with people.

The father send a text message. He was dissapointed that we had not sent him any pictures of the new kitchen he sent us money for. He also admited on stalking us on social media and wrote a wall of text about how we are making the whole family look bad on our social medias (we merely mentionned that we are survivors of abuse) and a lot of gaslighting things too.

Managed to keep Zami from going berserk at them or from erasing all our professional social medias. Instead, answered blandly about the kitchen parts not having arrived yet. We also took a cold shower.

We wanted to read a book this evening but we cannot focus on anything. This is frustrating.

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David.

I'm tired. Lot of work overtime. Havent heard from our partner in a week.
I'm strugling to breathe because syra thought it was a good idea to start smoking. New alter tricked me into it and its horrible. They all think it's funny.
Just so much anxiety at the moment. So many things to be afraid off. And I have no one to talk to. No one wants us. No therapist will see us, cant even go to the doctors because abusive family members work there.

Hi,

The body is just starting to feel better after being sick for weeks! That means more of us can be out because Host isn't always taking care of the body all the time. The Littles get scared when the body is sick so they need to stay way back inside. But now they're getting to play some.

Iain

We're trying to rest, recover, and catch up after a busy and very stressful week. Like, over the top stressful. We don't even want to go into the details now that we're past it.

The littles are happy that we went to Disneyland, and that was a nice day, but it was also stressful to get there and deal with the logistics of making the most of the visit.

Today we've gotten a bunch of chores done, and prepared for a class tomorrow.

Our T has been very supportive through this. We're having him only text emojis to us, since, for us, words were kind of obscuring his support rather than helping us feel it. The littles have discovered that if you text up to three emojis at a time, they will be large instead of tiny, so the T is sending us different triplets of emojis based on what we've texted him.

The littles love that there are 5 or 6 (or 7!) texts, and that each one has three large emojis. It kind of reminds some of the older littles of those rebus puzzles where you have to figure out what words they represent, although this is more abstract. So, hug-thumbs up-hug means he really cares and he's really there. Two blue hearts with a crying face between them means he cares that we're feeling sad, etc.

Since the littles are the ones who need to feel the connection the most, it makes sense that this is really working as a way to meet their needs. It bypasses any need for translating the words into feelings for them, and it means something that he puts thought into which ones will get across the feeling that he would otherwise have put into words.

We feel a little bad about how needy we've been, sending two texts on Friday and one yesterday, but the responses have helped a lot, and we feel much less like we're falling apart.

I just want to have a normal life.
work in a normal job and earn a bit of money
see people sometimes
I can't do DID and poverty and isolation anymore
I can't do being fat and ugly and in pain anymore
I want a life

it feels like every time i sat down today an hour instantly passed without any recollection of it passing.. it is like what feels like 10 minutes = 1 hour right now..

We have been badly dissociating theses past two days but well. It shall pass.

We also got our first Covid shot this afternoon. It is a relief. We are already starting to be less anxious about going outside. Even if the second dose often goes with a couple of days of fever and flue-like symptoms, it is a small price to pay in order to train our immune system to protect us from the 'Rona. I would rather have two days per month in bed with flue-like symptoms for the rest of our life, rather than risk the nasty effects some people have from the Covid even after recovering from it. Our life is complicated enough as it is.

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David

I didn't feel like this was enough to warrant it's own post, but I wanted to see if anyone else experiences this. Whenever I wake up I've noticed that not everyone 'wakes up' at the same time. Some days when I wake up I'm the only one up, everyone else is still asleep or I can't even contact them. Then other times there's one or two up with me. And, while uncommon, every now and then we'll all get up at the same time. Anyone else deal with this? The same thing happens even if someone else wakes up in the body.

We do not wake up, fall asleep, or simply be active at the same times throughout the day. Which can sometimes lead to not-organizational alters waking up first and needing to organize the day - while swearing about the "late sleepers".

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The G/Hosts.