How are you today thread (trigger warning)

yep, first disclaimer is on the very first page you get to, doesn't help when people don't READ

This is true. People don't pay attention. Or, sadly too often, they think the stated policy/rules/laws don't apply to them.

Anyway, good to see you posting, Annett.

MDs

I had already typed a rant but L asked me not to post it. she cares about not being seen as rejecting.
but damn, we don't need that kind of $#%^. Now I am all up and tense when we are supposed to be sleeping. great.

Annette - I hear you. You don't owe them sh*t. Once they pass the disclaimer they're playing by your rules. When people try to use us that way my head explodes. It's like they want to steal our work. Get a T and do the hard work people!

Ok. Too much rant so I'm going to stop here.

Colin

I uhm wish Annett would have let us sleep... but we were able to bring the situation to the body work therapist and she was genuious in helping us to resolve it. Asti did all the right things right away. she is good with that. I wasn't aware that her actions were actually mostly a protection for me. and I was trying hard to figure ut my needs but it wasn't until we were home from therapy that I realized that my need was to be protected from other peoples $#%^ and Asti did everything right to make sure this happens.
good moment for the system, seeing things work out so well.
Annett is still fuming and that is probably a healthy reaction too.
I love body work. we dissolved the stress but I also learned what to do in the future. not like book learning. with body work its like the body does it and then it knows what to do. I am forever thankful for all the people who donated so we can have that.

So many things are happening lately! ~ ♥

Moving appartment. Papers to do for work project 1. Work project 2 to be completed. Zami is overwhelmed by it all. Even for work project 3 they sometimes need help, poor beast. ♥ But van H. is having fun with the papers for project 1 and the completion of project 2. David, mostly, had a nice time discussing how to organize the new appartment with his lover. ~ ♥ (seriously they are soooo cuuuute together ♥♥♥♥) And me? I'm having fun with social medias! ~ ♥ We need social medias to communicate around our work. It's fun! ~ ♥ Using lots of different tricks to make our work seem soooo cooool and awesome and sweet and remakable and please buy it it's worth it! ♥ Not sharing it here though. Safety safety. We don't want people to come down on us and the work because we're multiple!

All in all, lots of stress but we manage! ♥ Because we are together and together we are strong! ♥

~~~~~~

♥ Lust ♥

We got an offer for a new apartment and now system is crazy, because some are not happy with it at all... who would have guessed it

Migraine incoming... a sure sign, that there is conflict

Now we have to consider to back down, but that also could mean, that we continue to be stuck in the current shared flat for months. And maybe that offer was the best chance we could get. Or if we find an other offer, others are unhappy too.

I hate conflicts. Especially in my head. It is weird how at odds with each other parts of one brain can be Soo different needs and hopes ans wishes and everything.

Important stuff is happening today at work, but I think we would mess that up with the headache and the social going out after work with colleague thing would not help, since most of us hate that too

-Alea

This morning V2 got triggered by something we read. Sent her into despair about us being so lonely & touch-starved & stuff. Anger about all the life we lost or missed out on, stuff we never learned, like how to be social, how to make friends.

We try, join groups, meet people, but we're always just outsiders. strange, wierd, other. we never fit in, never feel like we belong. the weird quirky 5th wheel, sometimes people find us curious or interesting at first, but its just a distraction. then they get bored and shut us out again.

Having self-harm urges now, feeling how hopeless & pointless it all is. Why bother with anything when we're just gonna die alone in the end anyways. Whether its this year, next year, or 20 years. noone wants nything to do with us, we're old, ugly, broken, flawed.

I'm trying to manage but its hard. Cos in alot of ways i agree with her.. I usually deal with it by just not thinking about this stuff. hard to avoid it when shes sorta right here next to me having a meltdown about it.

Viola

HI Viola,

That is suuuch a mood today for us too I'm really sorry that y'all feel similar and I wish I had a secrect knowledge about how to improve this feeling. But right now I just feel like we are ourselves totally not fit for existence in this world.
Alea is panicking because of moving. Not to mention upset Fae and anxious littles. Alex and I are feeling very lonely and touch-starved right now too, but the people in which we would be interested are around 20 like ourselves. With the current body that is just creepy and weird. And Kiran is overwhelmed once again by our existence and that we all are quite active right now and tries to jump into crazy work stuff, to prevent thinking about anything.
Overall there is this strong lingering mood today: "why bother with all this... existing is just too exhausting"

I'll offer a virtual hug, though, if that helps anything. And to be honest, I'm somehow glad, that I'm not totally alone with feeling a hopeless mess. I wouldn't wish the feeling anyone! But through this forum at least some of the hopelessness maybe can be shared and feel slightly less bad.

-Autumn (with a strong Alea influence right now)

Hi Autumn,

We're sorry you're feeling this today too. Its awful, we wish you didn't have to experience it as well.

Same as you, we're most interested in people our own (inside) age, which is basically 16 to 22. As you say, creepy and weird considering the outside body. And we've tried meeting people the outside age. Most are just too old, like they're grandmothers, wives, career women. We're teens & young adults with no life experience, there's nothing we have in common with body-age people.

Things haven't improved today. There's no appetite, no energy, nothing. We're either sitting, standing, or pacing. Crying a lot. We've self-harmed twice... nothing serious. But even that hasn't helped. We don't even feel it.

The system is flooded with the feelings of loneliness, despair, sadness, and self-loathing. We hate our body, our mind, our work, our life. If we disappeared today, it would be work contacts who'd notice first, long before anyone else did.

team Amythyst