How are you today thread (trigger warning)

thought it would be good for us to take some time to mourn a not so perfect childhood.
Ended up crying for hours :/

It still felt good to be "allowed" to let it all out, even though right now I'm not feeling very good. I guess it's still hard for me to cope with the fact that a few months ago I thought I had a good childhood, and now, even though I myself don't have the memories, I know that wasn't the case. I don't know. I could use a hug. At least now I know why I always felt like nobody cared for me. hmpf...

hope you guys are doing better...

*hugs*

I'm here, I'm here I don't understand how you can not get worked up, Aidan, Mr. Zombie, when the others are being emotional and ridiculous - I totally agree with you, but you're so ######6 'cool' about it.

Getting worked up is a waste of energy. You're frantic energy gets you into trouble all the time.



What do you guys think about addressing that stuff in T?

WTF? You know you're just making me pissed off

So simple-minded, niva.
It's fine, N, you're right, it'll help you be less freaked out about about it. I don't have a better idea for dealing with your body image issues. It makes sense that they could be connected because your feelings are the same in both areas. You know this already. I wish you could just be indifferent about it - it's just a body - it doesn't matter. And the past is the past.

It does matter though , a lot. We can't all be like you. I WISH I could not care! And of course the past doesn't matter for you - you didn't have to feel any of it!

Your welcome

It still felt good to be "allowed" to let it all out, even though right now I'm not feeling very good. I guess it's still hard for me to cope with the fact that a few months ago I thought I had a good childhood, and now, even though I myself don't have the memories, I know that wasn't the case. I don't know. I could use a hug. At least now I know why I always felt like nobody cared for me. hmpf...

I'm sorry to hear about your experiences. I hope you feel better soon. (safe hugs) if wanted

We got to have breakfast and then we got desert after breakfast. It was funny and nice.

Rana: Earlier this evening, Kevin said I'm cute. I just... said thanks to him. Um... I don't know about this but does he fall in love with me? Haha! I think I'm just saying stuff without think more about it.

Yesterday our aunt came from Germany... Her husband (dead now)... did bad things to some of us when we were little (ninchen, the depressive, and Aidan - well, Aidan protected us when he could)....

I don't feel good ... Why... why didn't she help me?

I got to show off my German yesterday. I LOVE my aunty!!! She's so fun and nice and funny!

want to throw up

snap out of it ninchen and shit-face! (keep up the good work up, Sonja)

Just keep yourselves together now. There's no actual threat!

Thanks for the hugs, niva and lifelongthing!

Kat: I've finally pulled myself out of it enough to have the will to post about it...effects from the emotional abuse came back to bother me tonight. Much worse than usual. I knew I needed to talk to someone about it, but because of what it was telling me, I didn't do it. I honestly thought I would hurt myself tonight. I've managed to pick myself up a little though. I'm still low.

That was awful...I hate abuse effects. I also hate knowing that it'll just happen again and this wasn't a one-time thing. It's happened before and it'll happen again...I wish I could bring myself to tell any of my friends in this state about it, so then maybe they could help me feel better. I don't know what they could say, though. Ironically, it's easier for me to tell them about the DID than it is to say anything about the abuse. I care more what they think about the latter than about the DID, which should be the other way around.

Alexa: I hate this bad month we're going through. More like a month and a half now...we need to get back to our regular school routine! Living in the school dorms again will really help things settle back down.

chococat159 wrote:Kat: I've finally pulled myself out of it enough to have the will to post about it...effects from the emotional abuse came back to bother me tonight. Much worse than usual. I knew I needed to talk to someone about it, but because of what it was telling me, I didn't do it. I honestly thought I would hurt myself tonight. I've managed to pick myself up a little though. I'm still low.

That was awful...I hate abuse effects. I also hate knowing that it'll just happen again and this wasn't a one-time thing. It's happened before and it'll happen again...I wish I could bring myself to tell any of my friends in this state about it, so then maybe they could help me feel better. I don't know what they could say, though. Ironically, it's easier for me to tell them about the DID than it is to say anything about the abuse. I care more what they think about the latter than about the DID, which should be the other way around.

Alexa: I hate this bad month we're going through. More like a month and a half now...we need to get back to our regular school routine! Living in the school dorms again will really help things settle back down.

Sorry you're having such a difficult time. I'm sending imaginary hugs out to you if you'd like *hug*
I know what it's like to have a hard time talking to others about past abuse or its effects, and it's easy to feel alone when you're going through this. I just want you to know that you're not alone, and I, for one, am there if you ever feel like talking. you can pm me anytime.

I think you have a reason to be proud of yourself though, for not hurting yourself. That's an amazing thing, because that's an urge that can be very difficult to resist.
so keep that in mind, that, despite everything, you are strong because you actually managed to resist that

I hope you feel better soon, and maybe you could talk to a friend at least to have them make you feel a little better or distract you, doing something fun maybe? you don't have to talk about anything that makes you feel uncomfortable but I'm sure it would be nice to have someone around and... well... take your mind off it.

Casey