How are you today thread (trigger warning)

MakersDozn wrote:Hi Annett,

What's wrong? I talked to her on the littles thread and she seemed nice.

Hannah (I'm 10)

she has not always been aware that the past is past and kept following her orders. those were to be our big sister and "take care" of us, often in a rather violent way.
her fronting has been life threatening the last few times it happened.
we were able to do some work with her in spring, then she withdrew...
not sure where she is standing right now. she seemed to have changed. but how much.
she was the reason we went inpatient this summer.
i saw that she wrote you and i am wondering if its ok. i dont want anyone to get hurt and she is def different from other kids. we think she is still one of the dark ones and
it is getting loud inside when i write this. i guess we will have to discuss this...

it looks like nothing bad happened. she must have just reached out on the littles thread and not done any harm this time.

Hi Beccabee,

I was thinking about you and can't find you on the forum anymore. I hope you're alright. You were doing really great so maybe you're just super busy with lots of cool stuff. Please let us know what's going on with you ok?

Iain

Okay, thanks, L.

Hannah
__________

How are we today? Feeling like a game of "52 pickup."

Bigger People

With how terrible the past three weeks have been, today was actually really good. All of our alters who went missing after our mother's surgery came back today. They haven't been out much and communicating with them is a little difficult. Instead of knowing their thoughts, it's like their thoughts are coming to us from down a long hallway- distant and a little hard to understand. But they're back. We probably need to just get used to having all the noise back. Normally we have about 9 or 10 people co-conscious with us at all times, but over the past three weeks we got used to having just four. It was much quieter, but having them all back is comforting, albeit disorienting...

-James

We feel run down so we are staying home from work today.

Hannah (10)

we saw our psych doc. she helped to create a first plan where to get info and support for not inheriting dirty money. stressed out.
she said that if we cant find a way we need to get D to see something positive about inheriting stuff.

***** trigger warning *****violent crime/severe abuse

the family fortune is based on selling children into sex-slavery and to be tortured by sadists.
now those children inherit the money they earned with their bodies and their pain.
how am i to get D to think that this is something good and decent? that will not remind us of our torment every time we handle money.

**** end trigger warning ****

I am upset and angry. its easy for her to say that.

tomorrow we have a big dentist appointment. i am drained. i feel like i am not recovering thru sleep. fatigue. i just want to make it thru this week somehow.

Hi birdsong,

I don't know what you should do. I just wanted to tell you that I get it. It makes a difference where the money comes from. Hey maybe you can use it to pay for therapy. That might be like justice!

Iain

damn, this is not a good day
i wrote to that non-profit, they help abuse women and the lady there has worked with DID before and she was cool when we met. well, she retired.
i cant stop crying now. the new person was utterly unhelpful and cold. and she said she cancelled plans for self-help and all that. L has been waiting for more than a YEAR for their self-help programm to start.
this is all just a little bit too much...
i thought we could get legal help but the new person just said to ask (and pay) a lawyer. the old one did so much for people...
i wrote a no-nonsense and probably not friendly reply.
i think we just lost a trusted helper. and i will have to start that self-help thing myself. they could have told me a ######6 year ago that i would have to do it myself. we would HAVE had one for 11 months then! it is NOT that hard to find a bunch of abused women. NOT. THAT. HARD.

birdsong87 wrote:we need to get D to see something positive about inheriting stuff.

A cleansing ritual? Or the concept of blood money? In many cultures, offense against another person requires payment to the one offended.

Sounds like you want to find a professional who does restorative justice work. And perhaps this inheritance could be used to pay for some of that work, or for services that help children escape from human sex trafficking.

we all need to calm down...
I made an appointment with a social worker who will help with legal matters.

Una, I wish that was possible. i wish we could support the "other side" with this money. but as far as i know we are not allowed to. we receive unemployment. if we inherit they will stop payments until we "ate" the inheritance. they would make us live from it for as long as it takes til its gone. if we give it away they will not start payments earlier.

D is not only our girl who loves to deal with finances. she is also struggling with restrictive eating. she would starve herself, us, before eating anything that was paid with that persons money.
if we dont find a legal gap it will be very hard to turn this around...