How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Thanks for the info, LittleMie. We don't think that that particular Toyota model exists in the US, but we could be mistaken.

Sending good thoughts to everyone.

MDs

Extremely angry right now and I don't understand it. Maybe I will understand as I write. C's boyfriend is watching a movie we don't like. We are tuning it out. I don't know why this makes me (Heather) angry. I am judging him. I want him to leave. I want to leave. I feel the urge to run away. I feel like SI. I don't understand myself why this is affecting me so strongly. It's not that the movie is triggering. It's just not a very good movie. Maybe because c didn't push him to watch what we wanted but rolled over as usual and now we are stuck. This often happens. We feel pushed around and coerced, but it's not the other person's fault because C doesn't stand up for us.
Heather

I (Sarey) just took over cuz Heather feels bad. C's bf still doesn't know.
Sarey

And I (Heather) am back. Having a hard time right now.

Hi,

I hope things got better Heather and Sarey. We get triggered too by Host's cr*ppy boundaries. Makes Colin really angry.

We're trying to get the kids to safe places inside so Host can do his project. It's like seriously high stress and HAS to go right. Colin and I help but the kids get freaked out so they need to be safe. Its out of town so I hope there are no bad triggers.

Iain

Evan says hi to Sarey.

Good luck, Iain.

MDs

Hi Colouredleaves - sounds tough and confusing. Relationships sometimes more trouble than they are worth and at other times worth all the trouble. Sometimes think that half the battle with this state is down to boundary issues. Wishing you the best and hoping things settling down.

Hi Iain - you guys are so great at looking after each other - my kids have spent a lot of time just hiding under covers and blocking out the chaos, they feel safe there. Hope you find a safe place for your guys.

It's really hard to believe that our last post in this thread was last week. Feels like I could have written it this morning. This week has been going by really slowly. It distinctly feels like a Thursday. We're very tired.


Trigger warning:

Trigger warning wrote:It's triggering to be around my mom when she has road rage and yells in the car, a closed and small space where all we can do is sit and stare at our phone. It makes me extremely uncomfortable and prone to dissociate for the rest of the morning (and possibly whole day.) She did this this morning. I should probably just tell her to stop, but I don't feel like that would make her stop even if she did agree to. Overall makes for an unpleasant day.

Also, one of my teachers never puts in grades. I have a 75 in his class. He is a fool who can't put grades in worth a damn. /:

Generally a neutral-to-unpleasant day. so far. the worst is yet to come.
Don't know, but probably Host... probably (and sven)

Had a decent week I guess until I had the first half of my psych eval. The lady that's doing it told us we've got PTSD and Depression no surprise there but she also said that she was going to put in a referral for me to have as Asperger's assessment...

And BOY did that open a can of worms. Raven's been so anxious about it, and so have we. We're already looked down upon because we don't act like everyone else, but Autistic people have it pretty bad.

We don't wanna be treated any differently ya know? Those with Autism tend to be scorned, pity, or downright shunned just because they have things they can't stand , or make noises/gestures to distract themselves from everything else so they don't get too overwhelmed.

We've decided to go for the assessment though. We need to understand us better, so that we can be better parents/friends to the outside littles (the kids). Cuz if we canunderstand ourselves better, then that means we can help Bug better, and Junebug too, once he's older.

JadeRain--I (C) wonder if I have Aspergers. My mom even suggested it when she was reading a memoir about an autistic man. She saw similarities. This is really huge cuz my mom usually denies there is anything wrong with me. She sees everything as a character flaw. Just remember, knowledge is power but labels are imperfect.

Evan--hi from Sarey!

LittleMie--this relationship is worth it. At least I (C) think so. I think the others do for the most part too, but he's my bf, not theirs.

Iain--thanks for the support. Did you secure your kids ok? Yes boundaries are a big issue with us.

Today we had T and group. T was amazing as always. I kept getting teary talking about the past and Sarey would get scared and needed to be reminded that "now is now." We were able to ground ourselves. Heather also put her two cents in. I find that when we all have opportunities to express ourselves (which is usually only on T day) the rest of the day feels big and whole. It's like there are more hours because I remember and am aware for more of them. Today we had an ice storm and even taking public transportation that was delayed in wet cold conditions didn't get me down. The group is for eating disorders and was a bit triggering today but I spoke up about it and that felt great too! I have been rereading my notes from a Dialectical Behavior Therapy program I did in '04 and it has made me feel like I have options for difficult emotions other than just hanging on for dear life. Lots of hope there. I think when I did the program I was too ill to fully benefit but I am diving in now. I even bought an app for DBT diary keeping where you log what skills you used and how they worked.

We had a great day!
C.