How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Today has been I almost daren't say it....a good day. This is important to write because we don't have many at the moment and mostly it feels as if everything is just mess. It is worth remembering that if you are feeling bad right now because it can turn on a penny.

This respite maybe due to the fact I have handed my notice in at work so some immediate stress was lifted however once the reality of no income again hits home then the stress will rise again. But if I can keep a steady head then I can do something self employed. We may well wake at 3am and the cards will have flipped but right now I feel strangely in control. This does not happen often. We have written it down. We will embrace it.

still feeling whole-ish?

today I felt anger. but it wasn't all consuming. it was just an emotion. I felt it. it didn't feel foreign. it was my emotion. I felt anger, but it was one of many things I can feel, and it passed. it was a new experience. to feel something while still retaining wholeness and not be consumed by rage.

my days feel a lot longer now....I guess because I am not switching like I used. I still feel squiggly now and then but it's different.

I resume with T this month.

BeccaBee wrote:helluva way to start the new year lain.

MakersDozn wrote:Hanging in. Working late a lot preparing for the office move in mid-January. Tired. And feeling fragile. As usual.

MDs

I hear ya.

Thanks, BeccaBee.

Having been dissociating quite a bit since Monday evening... I went all day today thinking it was Tuesday when it's actually Wednesday... Oh and it's January already?!

Been denying the release of the floodgates to whoever is crying inside, for fear of a larger headache.

That's a lie and you know it! You just don't want to deal with us.

That too ^, even that feels awful.

Raindrops wrote:That's a lie and you know it! You just don't want to deal with us.

Sounds very familiar.

MDs

argh. the nepotism strikes again.

job I was up for went to so n so ' s brother. because the job he was doing was too hard so he wanted an easier one. gargh.

alas. I am still trapped at the most boring boring boring boring boring boring low paying job.

silver lining: I have a job. just still verra broke.
silver lining: broke is better than dusted.

dang though. I was really hoping for that to pan out.

BeccaBee wrote:silver lining: I have a job. just still verra broke.silver lining: broke is better than dusted.dang though. I was really hoping for that to pan out.

Just hang in there. It will happen.

Stressed out.

New semester of university is starting. The classes I need are full so I am on the waiting list. It doesnt look like I will get into the classes so I need a big plan B. I will go to class on monday, and see if there are no shows, but there is a huge waitlist.

I'm not really sure what to do. I will have to change my whole degree or something. Or start working. Finances are tight but I should have enough money for a couple months. Stress from that. stress stress stress.

Been sick for a couple weeks and got to miss this whole week of work!! Recently got a new job, and thought it'd be better (actually, figured since dissoc. all day anyways might as well take the higher paid, albiet higher stress, job). The job, however, is negative, as the training has been inadequate and people are incredibly rude. After getting sick with what the doctors originally thought was life-threatening pancreatitis, was ready to do the unthinkable...which is question going on disability.

The thought was, "Does she deserve it? Does she deserve to go on a break?"

Yes, the thought was heavily questioned..HEAVILY.

Apparently now, however, it is not full blown pancreatitis...it's back to drawing board.

For once she was actually getting close to deciding on disability..which is a big deal, as the System would NEVER consider such a thing, unless it seemed like it was life or death. Now that she seems better, the feeling of TRAPPED, and FEAR is back. Trapped bc every day is a nightmare! Everyday __is trapped!!!!!!!!!!!! Cannot break loose. . . .

Don't know what to do now. Was so close to being free. Don't know what to do

robotfun wrote:New semester of university is starting. The classes I need are full so I am on the waiting list. It doesnt look like I will get into the classes so I need a big plan B. I will go to class on monday, and see if there are no shows, but there is a huge waitlist.

Are there no other classes, even though it's getting late and I bet everything would be full, but are there no open classes that you might need further down the road? Because this happened to me once and I just had a to take an advanced class that I didn't even meet the prerequisites for, but they still let me. I just had to promise them I would make an A or at least pass.