How are you today thread (trigger warning)

emotional
just spent a little fortune on new shoes.
really happy with those we found
terribly scared that we should have used the money differently.
a little guilty for having wishes.
freaked out about what counts as a little fortune for us. there are family member who spend 3 times as much on their hair every month.
generally sad. about this little life.
and Maya keeps asking if she can touch the shoes cause she likes to "look" with her hands and this is like the biggest thing we have bought all year.
sometimes seemingly small things have such a great impact

feel like ive been swallowed up by a giant sinkhole
darkness is envelopng me
lonliness is suffocating me
dysfunction is crushing me
not sure i want to bother summoning the energy to start clawing my way back out

Hi CollectivelyMe - We've felt like that. It really sux. I hope you can crawl out pretty soon.

Hi Asti - New shoes! Cool! Evan wants to touch them too. I guess that's just what Littles do. Something that we're learning (but its hard) is - It's ok to have nice things.

Hi BeccaBee - I hate it that they won't let you change so it's quieter. Sounds like they are being pretty stupid about it.

We've mostly been inside all week trying to stay away from the body pain. I think everybody's worn out. We've decided to all get together and take care of each other today. The whole thing's been pretty triggering but we have knew skills now so it doesn't have to be the same. Colin's going to front today so Host can get some rest. That's pretty brave of Colin.

Iain

More physical therapy next week. It's kind of a mess. We don't like people touching the body. Protectors get triggered and want to fight. Someone gets real submissive and it feels creepy. Littles freak out waiting for the PT to touch us somewhere bad. Colin will want to do the exercises too much and too hard so I have to watch him all the time. It's super confusing.

Iain

Asti - it sounds like a very responsible purchase. We all deserve nice things, and I think it is ok for the littles to touch as much as they can (as long as they don't break). I also agree that littles connect more with the outside world with touching rather than seeing.....

Collectivelyme - hang in there. Know it will pass. and validate what brings you here. try to feel it safely then let it fly away from your soul......

Hey Iain - I can relate to the PT. We have leg pain a lot. and Shoulder back pain. So recently we went to this therapist who believes that a lot of this kind of pain, is yes from say sitting all day at a computer, but also about storing emotions in our bodies and not letting them go (i didn't intentionally go to her for this reason, it was fated). So she was working on my leg and i realize that needing to have control over everything was impairing my ability to relax the body and let her work. she thinks I probably tense those muscles up during the day or night when I think things are out of control and to try to notice that and relax the thoughts and the body too.

Colin - you are absolutely right. There is a chance that someone could touch your body inappropriately. In every situation you live. And I can see why PT makes you even more on alert. However, flip those odds. if the chance is 1% there is a 99% chance that they won't. I know that it is hard for someone who has experienced that 1% over and over in their life. But those past odds don't influence these odds. If you feel the PTherapist is safe, can you comfort the littles about the threat and remind them you are there if anything should happen? Can you let the body relax and receive full benefit of the PT? PT is like your psychotherapy in a away, like you have to be open to psychotherapy for it to be of benefit, your body has to be open to the help of PT. and for that the muscles need to relax, and you can't over work them with he exercises.

There was someone on the radio recently who was talking about pain medicine addiction. He was saying that these people need far more than physical pain relief. They need psychotherapy, physical therapy and medication. That the mental challenges are stored in the body, and the body then reacts and then comes physical problems. So you guys are all very brave for tackling these issues. And maybe when the PT triggers stuff you can identify those areas as things you need to work on.

wishing you all a pleasant sunday

Hello. She told me to try it. The writing. It hurts

The semester is coming to a close and I'm doing my best to salvage what I can of my grades. I definitely failed Spanish but I'm trying to not fail my other classes but I'll take a miracle at this point. But I'm done on Thursday and I was going to get a job for the summer but no I change my mind. I'm going to relax over the summer because I don't think I can take any more stress.

Thanks Samsland.

Hi littlecage. Sorry writing is so hard because it's neat that you write here.

Iain

I don't want to go to work.
I don't want to go my T appt after.
I don't wanna.
I wanna stay home and never have to talk to other people.

But...gotta go. them's the rules. not allowed to play hookie. but I could really use a day off. maybe I will ask for one coming up soon.

Violarules wrote: I definitely failed Spanish

I think I would fail Spanish also. I avoided foreign languages like the plague.