Could I be DID?

Hey, all. Lately, I've been having some nasty headaches and noticing my spotty memory. I checked to see if the headaches were migraines, but the symptoms didn't match. I kept searching, and it took me to Dissociative Identity Disorder. It felt preposterous to connect something as common as headaches to something as uncommon (although very unique) as DID, but the pieces seem to fit.

It started with the Dissociative Experiences Scale. I know it's just supposed to be a screening test, but my results were alarming. Out of maybe six attempts, I'm averaging a 38, with my lowest score being a 31 and the highest a 45. It's also taught me some other things to be mindful of, like mirror shock and blanking out completely (not daydreaming, but like my brain just turns off completely.) I already felt mood swings and things like commentary in my head.

This weekend is where it starts to get stranger. I met two people in my head, the first one is a British chap named Lewis, around 22, and an American boy named Dill. I let him play with our puppy earlier today, but not for long. I spent the weekend in my hometown, not far from where I am now. Nothing felt familiar, even the friend's house I stayed at or the school I went to until 6th grade.

It's all been very scary for me, but kind of interesting all the same. But I can't decide if it's genuine or just me re-enacting what I've read so far. I know the headaches, mood swings and "alters" aren't something I can fake. I plan to get a professional opinion next week, but I'd like this board's take until then. Thanks, everyone!

Time will tell. Taking the DES is a good start. When you go to your appointment next week take the DES with you. That will help to focus the other person's questions. And it is much easier to hand over a paper than try to say out loud something as uncomfortable as "I think I might have DID."

I'm middle aged and found out about my DID barely 2 years ago. Wow, the first time I talked about it, that was hard! Now I feel mostly free to talk about it, and mostly don't need to anymore as it begins to be old news.

Thanks, Una. I'll definitely get a hard copy of the DES; I hadn't even thought of having one with me. Good to hear patience is the number one thing. I'm in no hurry to rush to conclusions, but Lewis feels like it's a waste of time. Well, it's not his body, so we'll all just wait.

No one can DX you expert a health care professional but...


No other mental illness other than DID has what you describe here...

"I met two people in my head, the first one is a British chap named Lewis, around 22, and an American boy named Dill."

It's such a new and strange thing for me. They haven't "taken over" yet, if that will ever happen; that's why I'm wondering if it's just my imagination. I've found myself thinking or saying (privately) things that I wouldn't otherwise think or say, though.

I appreciate the input, everyone. It's been a stressful weekend of worry and doubt, and it feels good to have a little support. Looking forward to next week.

The taking over part might have happened in your past and you never knew it. Now you might have what is called co-consciousness. You know they are there, and you don't loose time while they are out.

Oh, that's interesting. That may have just happened, actually, with Lewis. He tends to come out when there's no one else around.

What are some good sources to understand DID and co-consciousness? By the way, sev0n, I'm finding your site helpful.

Finally, two others introduced themselves yesterday. They haven't given me a name or any personal details, but I do know that one is aggressive, while the other is very sensitive and possibly homosexual.

I found something really interesting, and a little scary. I left a note out asking "alters" to reply, and I've gotten two. The first is from Lewis. He uses shorter phrasing and his writing has a different tone.

The other is from Dill, who tells me he is 8. His handwriting is totally different from mine, and he even refers to me in the 3rd person (in referencing my puppy.) I remember writing both of them, but I know it wasn't *me* writing them. It's like we were both in, but neither one was in total control. We were just making suggestions to the body.