Are the voices always audible?

I have to admit this because it drives me insane. The voices I hear aren't loud and audible. A lot of times it's just feelings that lead to intrusive thoughts. When I hear these intrusive thoughts, I
m not sure if it's my own brain prompting them or not and I always feel huge waves of emotion above my stomach or it just runs through me. That is why I fall into denial so much. I just don't know if this is normal for DID or if I'm making this whole thing up....

They feel so real to me. I guenuinely believe they are real, but is it possible that they aren't?

-- Mon Mar 18, 2013 12:43 pm --

and there is always this feelign in my brain that is different when I feel 'them talking'. It's like I feel that place moving or something. I always feel the presence of soembody inside of me when I hear them.

It varies for me. Sometimes they are audible and they sound like they are somewhere in the room. Other times they are audible but they feel more like they are actually in my head or at least very close to my ears and other times they feel more like thoughts, as if they are thinking and I can pick up on their thoughts and vice versa. I don't know why it varies. It just does.

Quite a lot of the time they feel more like strong thoughts. It's like the words just appear without any force, they just happen. I suppose that's how I know it isn't just me thinking the words, it's actually them, if that makes sense. Their thoughts just appear.

I hope this was helpful.

That is helpful. I find that when they are there, I don't have to think about it. The words just appear, as you put it.

and there is always this feelign in my brain that is different when I feel 'them talking'. It's like I feel that place moving or something. I always feel the presence of soembody inside of me when I hear them.

I definitely relate to this.

From a reply I made to this thread about loud thoughts and hearing alters:

This wasn't your point, but thank you for writing what you did about "loud thoughts", because that is exactly how it feels for us. Loud thoughts, to us, means that we have thoughts that are.. well, loud inside our head. You can't hear them audibly, it's like your normal thoughts - except they feel like they take up more space, and they definitely don't belong to you.

Hope you figure this out

Thank you. That is how it feels. Like it's taking up more space! Perfect description. I feel much better now. I am too attached to the alters to think that they might be fake now. I think I'm just trying to fall back into denial and the denial always reminds me of the fact that my voices aren't audible.

I'm glad I could help Keep working on the denial issue. Thinking of you

Phew.. that is helpful to hear for me too actually.

Nowadays I just hear the Others as thoughts.. not quite my own. So I do wonder frequently whether I am just making it all up.. but they are so distinct, express themselves differently, use different words and speech patterns to me.. and the feelings that spill over are quite unique to each of them.

Mind you, it didn't use to be like this for me and from what I know of how it is when Dez is out it's not like this for her now either. For her it's a lot clearer. But then, it doesn't scare her.. so I guess it would be.

Occasionally it is as if somebody just talked to me out loud and I end up looking around to check if it was just in my head or not

And there also used to be parent1's voice in here.. exact copy.. that was hard. But I haven't heard her in a long while.

The voices are real and they are all in our head. All thoughts are real, and valid, whether they come from us or they are "not me" productions of our alters.

I try to listen, to hear and understand all the thoughts in my head, wherever they come from. I do not identify with all of them, I do not believe all of them, and I do not act on all of them.

I hear them like I was on the cusp of a dream, but I listen to music and hear it, so I know I'm not asleep when it happens. It has to be either really calm and quiet for that to happen or really loud and stressful.
Otherwise they're just loud, intrusive, and foreign thoughts. They occur spontainiously and echo quite often. When many are "talking" at once it makes my head feel quite crowded and chaotic. It usually give me a headache so bad that I stop being able to feel the actual pain and can only feel the pressure when that happens...
Sometimes it can be startling... And sometimes it comes out of my mouth and makes my Papa angry because he doesn't like my seemingly irrational and inconsistand thought patterns. Of course that's just what he sees.

Una+ wrote:The voices are real and they are all in our head. All thoughts are real, and valid, whether they come from us or they are "not me" productions of our alters.

Thanks for pointing this out again
That's going in my notebook to remind myself