mute - warnings for language and stuff

PinkiePie wrote:

Una+ wrote:I have episodes of being unable to speak. I cannot even think the words. That happens when too many parts are trying to communicate at once, or when one or more parts is shutting us up, blocking other parts from communicating. None of this is unusual in people with DID.

This happens to me as well. Didn't realize this was normal DID behavior.

Best wishes to the OP in getting unstuck - xxoo

I experience this too, but only lately.

yakusoku I hope you are doing well. I am glad that Robby came out too. K has come out to save me in crisis points. It is good to have these kinds of parts.

I feel the same overwhelming pressure to convince myself it is a lie and express externally it might be. I know it probably isn't, but for the sake of feeling safe, it feels like I could be making this all up, and that's probably because someone inside here thinks you all here believe we're lying.

I experience this inner dialogue too and used to ask my T all of the time if he thought I was lying. He never said yes but I never believed he was being completely honest. Thinking people don't believe me is a reason for deleting my posts etc. When denial isn't coming from me but another chastising me for believing, I ask them if it is a lie why are you talking to me as if I am not you? Solves it momentarily.

Thanks, all, for the support and validation. I am doing better with talking, all was back to normal midway through yesterday, although there is still a feeling of clamping down, just not wanting the mouth open, that I don't recognize and don't know where it's coming from.

There is kind of crisis thing going on in my FOO right now that is affecting me deeply, so I'm sort on words right now.

yakusoku wrote:Thanks, all, for the support and validation. I am doing better with talking, all was back to normal midway through yesterday, although there is still a feeling of clamping down, just not wanting the mouth open, that I don't recognize and don't know where it's coming from.

There is kind of crisis thing going on in my FOO right now that is affecting me deeply, so I'm sort on words right now.

we get the mouth not wanting to open a lot of times too. usually it's a shy little, or sometimes blank, who either says nothing or just says "blank" because she doesn't have or know anything else to say, or it's someone who doesn't want us to talk about something specific, or sometimes it's shay, who's having trouble coming up with the words she wants to express and stuff and she also has a jaw-clenching problem in general.


glad to hear you're doing better with talking though. but i'm sorry there's a crisis thing happening that's affecting you. (what is FOO if it's ok to ask?) *safe hugs if wanted* i hope you feel better soon.


- cassie (age ?)

Sorry, FOO = family of origin

Stuff happening with younger siblings at one parent's place that is upsetting to me, and I can't do anything about it, so feeling helpless and reliving what it was like for some parts to have to grow up there.

i'm so sorry to hear that. i bet it must be very difficult to deal with. *safe hugs if wanted* hang in there and stay strong, i know you're strong enough to make it through this, and it won't last forever, but i hope things get better for everyone soon. it's important to realize, though, that sometimes there are just some things and some people we can't help, much like there's a lot about life we can't control, and sometimes all we can do is help in any way we can, no matter how little, even if it's something like sending good thoughts their way or *trigger warning religion* praying for them *end trigger warning* or something like that.

- cassie (age ?)

I am sorry that is happening, but not sorry to hear it. I think it is awesome that you are able to mention it to us!

Thanks, all, for the support. The benefit of bad things happening is that even if I don't remember what other parts do, I do know the stuff that I did remember from older childhood wasn't exaggerated or dramatized. The neglect, invalidation, and emotional abuse there is almost as bad as I remember it...probably only slightly better, because that parent just doesn't come home anymore.

But, there is a vulnerable sibling (one of three who were like children to Sara and me around when we switched hosting from her to me), who is the one actually in danger (maybe of being like us, definitely of being how Sara was back then that made us quarantine her) and no matter what we try, we can't get through to them, they never answer any attempts. The "real" parent won't intervene, is invalidating that the child actually feels that way, or it's a problem. The child (teen) will not respond to texts, calls, messages, even the risk of us returning to visit those in the house and go to the room where they shut themself and hide and almost never leave (not even for school). That house eats your soul. It is deeply painful for me to witness. And I have had so many failures protecting them all due to my legal powerlessness and my own disorder not allowing me to see the truth.

It is deeply painful, exacerbating the crisis I was already in...