who is dreaming?

Samsland, the weird thing is, I never saw those dreams as bad. They were no nightmares. Sometimes, maybe, but I've often been lucid in those dreams (they were mostly when I was younger), so I knew it was a dream (and could influence to some degree).

I do sometimes very suddenly wake up, feel like I've been falling or something bad would happen (i really don't know), but have absolutely no idea what it is about. Well, I know there's a dream before, probably a bad one. I have always had this. Very disturbing, but it happens very infrequently, so it's not really a problem.

Mostly, I just forget any dream I had. It's an exception I actually remember a dream at wake up. So I can't do much with it...

Yeah I never saw my nightmares as bad until I routinely slept with someone who pointed out my activity in my sleep (hitting yelling etc). I know I forget loads of dreams and remember a few a night even if just for a while. I am also quite lucid, and sometimes know I am dreaming even though I am sleeping. I can't really influence it, but I have learned to wake up when I "detect" something is not real.

An interesting one last night. I dreamt we were looking for a new home (again) only this time, I wasn't packing, I was going to see properties. We found a couple across the street and appeared too small from the outside. We checked them out anyways. I'll skip the first because I don't remember as much but the second was almost relic like, with a normal basic front room and kitchen. We went to see the bedrooms, and this is where it got crazy. The house backed onto a mountain and there was a huge extension of the house the went deeply into the cave. We kept finding room after room. All meticulously decorated. All old. But they weren't bedrooms. All of them were rooms that looked like they were used, and designed for purpose years ago and were now just someone's old property. One was a vacated spa. One was a gift shop ("we get our own gift shop?"). there were so many rooms. The master bedroom looked like one of a movie star in the 50s. Then in the center of this complex there were a bunch of chairs and a projector and a screen. The agent told us that this all comes with the house. we were walking away and a man called me back to see if I saw the fan and how great it was ?? It was directed at the screen and I saw memories being projected there for everyone to see. a few other things happened that I am not ready to talk about, and then I woke up.

As I was waking I wondered if the projection on the screen was a sort of symbol of sharing/communication with others??

SamsLand wrote:and remember a few a night even if just for a while.

So you actually remember them.
Sometimes, the feeling of the dream remains for a short while, but I have no idea what it was about. Often, I have no idea what the dream was about (or it fades far too fast - before I'm awake enough to realize I want to remember, it is gone). Only sometimes I can remember pieces of it.
I have suspicions at least sometimes there is a full switch at night (including amnesia). I remember once awaking and realizing my nose bled. I could easily have missed this one, but thinking back, I 'awoke' while sitting up right in my bed nose picking (I had a cold).

SamsLand wrote:As I was waking I wondered if the projection on the screen was a sort of symbol of sharing/communication with others??

Or maybe some part is afraid the past gets revealed to others (fear of being exposed)?

SamsLand wrote:
As I was waking I wondered if the projection on the screen was a sort of symbol of sharing/communication with others??

It sounds like you may have been dreaming about your inside world...

♪We have a river in our world to carry shared memories.~♪ It flows from the falls at the base of the mountain, and the pond and fall hold lots of memories...~

♪We have a river in our world to carry shared memories.~♪ It flows from the falls at the base of the mountain, and the pond and fall hold lots of memories...~

wow that is so beautiful <3

♪~Thank you~♪

♪We have a river in our world to carry shared memories.~♪ It flows from the falls at the base of the mountain, and the pond and fall hold lots of memories...~

I agree very beautiful. Can you let the traumatic ones wash away downstream anywhere??

It sounds like you may have been dreaming about your inside world...

Yes, I think so. And the fact that is is in a mountain (skull maybe?) and keeps getting bigger and bigger the more I look fits as well.

Or maybe some part is afraid the past gets revealed to others (fear of being exposed)?

Very interesting you say this. The next night I had a dream about a therapist I looked up online. (though in the dream she didn't look the same as she does on her website). In my dream I had finally decided to meet with her. So my appointment was scheduled but I had to attend a seminar at at work first (and her office is near my work). So for some reason she was at the seminar and I ended up talking to her in a group about information at the seminar. Then in front of a group, she said "i'll see you later for our appointment". I was mortified because everyone knew she was a therapist. Then I was walking to her office later and it took me a while to find it because I was so scared to ask people around (some of whom I guess knew me) because I didn't want anyone to know I was seeing her. We finally found her office and if you can believe it the walls were glass and all the people I "knew" could see inside!! I did feel so exposed! Then she said something ) I cant remember the exact wording "what's the worse thing about someone's inner truth being displayed on the outside" my mind created a picture of someone with a big sticky note on them with their inner truth written down. I couldn't answer then frantically popped awake.

Yes clearly there is fear labels, diagnosis, and being exposed. Ugh.

We can't let them wash down stream. They would end up in Jude's ocean, and he has to protect the inhabitants from the monster. If we let them wash into the ocean, the bad memories would feed it, and Jude might get hurt trying to keep his end of the bargain.

SamsLand wrote:"what's the worse thing about someone's inner truth being displayed on the outside"

I think that's a really important question, honestly. Or maybe, what could go wrong and in what way could it help? What is actually positive about getting the truth out? Maybe it helps answering those questions, and talking with whoever is having that fear.
And, of course, getting to know the truth doesn't equal everyone knowing about it but it's a dream.

I know the type of dream you're talking about, though. But usually like, when I have to be early with something important, the dream is about all things that could go wrong and everyone knows... Or something like that. Or other failures, and everyone knows about them.

Thanks oaktree, your interpretation has made me think a lot. I think you gave words/language to the parts that are pro therapy but cannot articulate why they need it and what they want out of it.

So I contacted my therapist who I haven't seen since Jan sometime. I have officially quit but some wanted to say goodbye and some wanted an assessment (I guess for validation). I also went way out on a limb and contacted a different therapist. She is female, but has expertise in a lot of our issues. We have difficulty with female mentors because of the mom.

Since then I have been plagued with awful nighmares and internal images while awake. The nightmares again have the same central themes. One is that I have been involved with a crime, or done something wrong, going to be caught and either jailed, life ruined, or executed. The other is that I am still packing up houses and desperately trying to collect my belongings. Though there has been some key activity which are interpretable. One was that in my house there was an enormous portrait of my mom, with a huge frame, matting etc that she had given me, and a small framed picture that I was to carry around with me. I decided against taking them but then my mom appeared and started crying about how I don;t want her photos. so I took the small one and said I didn't have enough room in my car for the big one. (I guess I am negotiating finally leaving her behind, but she still has this huge control over me). The second is that I was looking at boots in my closet for my favourite merrell ones and when I found them they weren't as I remembered them . I think this speaks to my worry about how accurate memories are.

Anyways, there are so many more, I could write a chapter of a novel daily. I did have one about looking through other people's houses (we were in a complex where people keep their doors open for people to look around), and I was very intrigued and impressed about how other people's houses were so interesting and well put together......

What do you think the significance is about your dreams and mine about everyone knowing? ( I wrote that from some part, and was greeted with a huge Duh!).