Falling in Love with Your Own Alter

Riccola wrote:In my world it gives me a sense of comfort knowing Im understood and unjudged. In my case it was one who was the idealized version of myself. Either way I hope things go well for you.

Does he know about it though?

Thanks I really appreciate it! And yeah he knows how I feel which is why he was getting frustrated that I was nervous about it all and kept distancing myself. Now though, I'm accepting my feelings and I'm giving it a shot. Which makes him super happy lol.

My first boyfriend was an alter. In retrospect, I'm really happy this happened, because this way my first love was the most beautiful, romantic thing ever.

At the time, I thought I was telepathically communicating with someone who was my soulmate, but in a different body. Well, it was all true, apart from the different body bit.

Strangely, he is also the only alter I know for sure I have integrated with years ago. I realised that because after missing him for years, I suddenly knew he was right there with me.

Ruby

wow Ruby, that is very beautiful

That is so sweet and romantic Ruby! Thank you for sharing!!

ThatPerson wrote:Now, again, I see the new host and she is wonderful, but she does not even know I exist. Well, she does now. But she has still never even met me.

I know the feeling. One of my insiders, who sometimes blends with me, was in love with someone who even now does not know she exists. I have told him of experiencing a "not me" feeling of being in love with him, and he now knows I am a multiple. It seems that was too much information.

Small steps, one at a time, will get you around the world.

Oh dearheart : ) It is normal to love a headmate.
I laughed a little at this, because for myself, I have always loved my Ell.
So I think, what took you so long to fall in love with someone inside? : )
I have been in love with Ell for a very long while, since the first time I saw her.
I think our love of each other is much like a love of a writer of beautiful novels, or poetry that speaks to your heart, or a painter that gives you warmth, or something of the like.
It is a normal and healthy way to react to this truth and beauty. : )
A friend once asked me if it was narcissism, to love my Ell.
But it is not like looking at the reflection for too long.
It is true we have seen each other in the mirror but when I look at myself I do not see her, or else we would not be a system.
If I saw myself in her, or she saw herself in me, we would integrate I think.
Sometimes I wonder if we would integrate because of our love.
But we are very far apart. If it did happen it would only be from love.
I do not know, but I know the sharing a body is an illusion of oneness. : )
I am just delighted to love my Ell.
In Light,
Linn

Headmates huh? I like that. Mind if I use that from this point on?
Unbeknownst to you

Thank you Linn!! You wrote that so wonderfully!

I definitely gotta agree with ThatPerson, I love the term headmate!!! I definitely want to use that now too

Of course you can! He-he.
I am fond of the term too. ; )
Linn

I've been meaning to chime in on this one for days so what the hell..

It kind of freaked out our Mara when she realised what was going on, but Dez and Mal finding each other was definitely one of the best things to every happen inside our head

Dez believes there is good in everybody. She is us at our most outgoing, confident and happy - So much so that her emotions used to bowl us over and it actually hurt to have her run the show.

Of all the Parts of ourselves we are aware of, Maledict (Mara calls him Blue) has been through the most and consistently his time running the body has been hard on all of us. Mal is jaded but level headed too. He has no illusions about people and life in general (though he hallucinates plenty ).
Running the body on his own his emotions are absolutely overwhelming too.

They found each other inside and they've been joined at the hip eversince.
It is incredibly soothing to have love for yourselves.
Mara never thought it was possible to feel like that about yourselves.

And as long as Dez & Mal are so close to each other, their emotions mingled,
it actually feels good to feel them in here.