Unplanned integration work

Thank you everyone.

Especially you rinZU - that was helpful, honestly.

Another day and all that...

glad i could help.. i think.. that stirring u feel.. it iz u waking up to new opportunitiez.. ur life will grow richer & richer.. i know for me.. when i despair.. feel uncomfortable.. thinking i got to get outta here.. wallz r falling in.. i realized.. one day.. i gotta make my own rope.. tie it to a rock.. throw it up there to where i want 2 be.. & pull myself up.. the climb iz not easy.. but once u get there.. it has a nice view.. if u get me.. ur doing the best u can.. & that'z all anybody can do.. i'll cya.. keep us posted.. take care.. [r]

Thank you rinZU, I will.

The SO found out. Things kinda just fell apart. Was yelled at. It is what it is. We have reconciled of course. I try my best but it is rarely enough for others or myself.

Time and effort will heal I think.

Thank you again, it means a lot

in this arena.. the self.. it takez time & effort.. to find equilibrium within.. and however long it takez.. iz how long it had to take.. and it waz well worth every minute.. in the wordz of nietzche.. "i tell u... one must still have chaos in one to give birth to a dancing star.." [r]

Us finds that relapses remind us of how far we have come, in that it's a relapse. This isn't how things are all the time anymore. Maybe things still aren't perfect, but they are a whole TON better than they were. So on the whole, for me, they are markers/reminders of progress.

And probably something stressful happened, and it's a reminder to deal with that stressful thing and to practice recovery behaviors. I am not good at recognizing stress, so sometimes that kick-in-the-pants is necessary.

Thank you both.

Us finds that relapses remind us of how far we have come, in that it's a relapse. This isn't how things are all the time anymore.

Very true. Definitely something to keep in mind.

Thank you rinZU. Sometimes I think you're just full of great quotable comments (and yes that's a compliment )

Hey sweetie

I ve been through quite some turmoil/transformation/....

It makes your head explode at times (in my case)

and I relate to feelin vulnerable LOTS.

You ve been through a lot, and this IS a step forward, but it s also change. And change is never easy.

I read somethin about bein yelled at by your SO? Did I misread? Did any of this had to do with it?

You re in my thoughts.

Love

Nina11

Thank you Nina11.

I really haven't learned yet how to just sit with the vulnerability. I wish I had a competent T but I don't and it just takes time to learn I guess.

I read somethin about bein yelled at by your SO? Did I misread? Did any of this had to do with it?

Yes that had to do with this. I didn't react very well to feeling so vulnerable. In the end some things were said and in a way they shouldn't have and she's apologized for reacting the way she did.

Doing better now. Feeling less shaky and more stable, thankfully.

Thank you all. The support means a lot.

The integration is still holding. Thankfully emotionally it's become easier now and they/she is happier now. She has stated that integrating is one of the best decisions she's made (both of them) and that is feels beautiful and right. It's making me (host) consider the idea of integrating as well. We are a larger system (and it seems we haven't found them all yet) and there have been at least one who has talked about wanting to integrate into someone else. We have no thoughts about integrating to make our system smaller, only to experience the healing and beauty of integration.

Thank you all for your thoughts on this thread. I hope especially you Una+ are able to achieve the fusion you (all) seem to be wanting

We have a couple of child alters who are considering integration as a long-term goal.

They were wondering though, Una+ specifically but to everyone, how has it been for your child alters to integrate? Are they feeling okay? Are they bored all the time or scared or are they okay because they're kind of adult now? Do you ever feel like playing even though the child alter is kind of an adult now too? Will everything they care about be lost because the adult alters interests will be "bigger" or "more important"? Do you ever feel younger or does this go away because you've worked through memories?

These are all just questions from the littles who are considering it. If anyone is comfortable answering anything that has experience in this, it would be lovely