Making progress with baby alter

So we wanted to share something that has helped make good progress with our baby alter.
This might be a triggering topic for some as there are mentions of neglect.

She is a wonderful 1 year old that has taken the brunt of neglect. She is unresponsive and will not connect to others inside or out. Most of us have heard about those "orphanage babies" that don't answer when you call for them, don't give eye contact, don't reach for things and so on and so forth. This baby has been exactly like that.

On the inside she lives another young child (a 2 year old) that is relatively social and who tries to engage her very often. She also lives with Lin who is an adult caretaker (who she calls "mama") and Lin's special child - Anastasia who is 5. She has a good 24h cycle and she gets cleaned, fed and all such things babies need. But she still doesn't connect. She has a teddy inside and she will respond to that from time to time, but otherwise more or less nothing.

On the outside, when she fronts, our SO tries hard to engage her in play, eating, touching different textures, singing etc. Anything she can to catch her attention. But nothing has seemed to really work.. Until now

We got a baby doll (just a regular plastic baby doll) that we named the same thing as the baby and my SO made a bed for it in a plastic bin on our dresser and talked to it when we sat there, saying soothing things or singing to it etc. At first we bought the doll so that another alter who has a baby doll would be able to play with our SO more easily, but it quickly seemed to affect this little baby. After the first 24 or so hours the baby doll was gone. I don't know where it went but in our communications journal it said, simply "baby sleep good. not touch baby so much" and it was put where the baby doll had been. This was our sign that the baby had caught this - she knew we were trying to reach her. So we found out that when our SO picks her up and talks to her, the baby wakes up inside. So now we try to match it with the 24h cycle that is on the inside so we don't wake her when she's napping etc. Sometimes now someone will come out and hand the baby doll to our SO or walk up to her and say "baby is awake" or "baby is scared" and she will take care of the doll for a bit, and the baby is usually soothed.

Yesterday we went a step further and had the baby be with us when we were forward so not only Frankie, a 3 year old alter in our system, got cuddles but the baby did as well.

Just wanted to share something that worked for us with an alter that has given to response at all until now. It might not work for anyone else, but it can be worth a try at least

Wow! what great news and what good advice! EEEEeeeee! i'm so happy to hear this and I've missed you! (i think you were gone and then i was gone) anyway - so very very happy to hear positive progress and I just want to give your SO some chocolate or something for being so supportive and kind. So very happy to hear this many hugs and warm thoughts!

Thank you We're so happy we've been able to reach this alter too. She deserves to know that we're at least trying Our SO is so supportive and understanding of us, I'm so happy to have her

I missed you too! (and yes, we were). Thinking of you

To ask you all: do any of you have any other tips for connecting with an alter that does not respond at all to contact, calling, physical touch etc?

if there's no way to have connection, then it's kinda hard to connect at all.

if an alter doesn't respond or can't respond to touch, hearing, smell, etc., then i dunno if there is a way to connect, because what else is there?

you could try maybe sharing or projecting feelings onto them, or something, like the feeling of comfort, or safety, or protection, or something like that.


and i dunno if these are any help, but they might help with the baby in general... :

-- A baby identity (discusses how to help/comfort a young alter): http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic100127.html

-- Any advice for a homesick little? : http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic70455.html

-- New Little Alter, advice? (a type of follow-up from the previous thread listed): http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic71167.html



- cassie (age ?)

I think maybe you misunderstood. The point of the post was that we did connect with her and were able to communicate with her in a way that makes her at least able to sense we are there.

oh... sorry...

- cassie (age ?)

No worries

I was glad to find this on another thread. I've just found a preverbal, I think. Sometimes I can't talk to certain people. I want to communicate but I can't, and I want the person to be near me and have contact with me but I'm also afraid. I don't know why, these are just strong feelings, but I find them hard to communicate when we can't speak. I thought it was just someone blocking us from the inside from communicating, but yesterday I realized I'd actually taken a small child out around adults and she got really really scared.
Does this mean trauma happened at a really young age and she gets triggered about this trauma from certain people? Or maybe some people feel like a source of safety and that's why she comes out around them? Also, I should buy toys to try communicate with her, perhaps?

Does this mean trauma happened at a really young age and she gets triggered about this trauma from certain people?

Possibly. No one here can tell for sure but dissociated parts from a young age usually means trauma fro that age yes.

Or maybe some people feel like a source of safety and that's why she comes out around them?

Might also very well be true. If she's experienced trauma there can be someone/thing triggering him/her or there could be a safety that she wants a part of. I would depend it a bit on the feelings the part give off if you're able to retain anything when this part is out.

Also, I should buy toys to try communicate with her, perhaps?

Many here experience this as a good thing. I remember when this part first started letting herself be known. I wasn't co-conscious much at all back then but I walked past a baby book and she would flash images in my head for a week afterwards. She liked it a lot. I ended up buying it and she was able to come out and started communicating a tiny bit with me through her sister. Maybe go to a toy store and see if this part sees something they like?