Tunes14 wrote:look, i think you misunderstand me. there is no whole for there to be a 90% of. the only whole you have is like a household is a whole - you all live together and have to deal with that. which makes this a matter of popular opinion among the members of the household. because if you were whole, in the sense of being all one person, it probably wouldnt be split that exactly. if you all integrated, you dont know which qualities would be shared by the resulting person and which would not. at a 90% difference, i think its safe to say that in the end, it probably wouldnt be a 100% desire to stay. but its still possible that the resulting 'whole' would actually prefer overall to stay than to leave. so no, i dont think the whole 90% cr@p means any more than a popular vote.
I do not misunderstand you. To us, considering ourselves as a whole and realizing that a few of us are making most of us unhappy is relevant and necessary. (We have already addressed the issue of not being in agreement 100% whether we were integrated or not in other replies). I still hold to the logic that if most of us do not want something, it stands to reason that we should probably not continue with it. We may have to agree to disagree on this point.Tunes14 wrote:that wasnt an attempt to expand on my personal character, that was meant as an indication that i dont plan for there to be as much gossip going around on this end about your own private business, which i believed did concern you.
Then I misunderstood what you meant, and I apologize.Tunes14 wrote:unfairness in the past cannot be helped now. yes, she deserves to compromise just like the rest of you on an issue that you have to compromise on. however its illogical to make her compromise on an issue that everyone can have their way with. im debating the necessity of having such a big loss on ANY end. keeping peace and playing fair (which does not include angry revenge-guided outbursts, as much as it can seem like it) is something that should be attempted.
We understand that.
And we have been taking that into account and thinking about that point as well.
We think that our replies to other posts, mainly the most recent previous reply(ies?) done mainly by L.C. I believe, are accurate and portray exactly what we want and what we are trying to accomplish here. If you have not already, please look through them if you are able to. (But if you are not, that is ok).Tunes14 wrote:i also didnt say all of this was your fault nor did i say that you were doing anything wrong. i dont know what you are or arent doing, but apparently there are problems and conflicts. i dont care if its you or mike or both that is being uncooperative, but since i dont have contact with mike anyway, you would still be the appropriate one for me to speak to about these matters.
I know that you did not say that. Please do not assume that I'm putting words in your mouth or thinking that you meant something just because I say it in my reply. That is not how I operate.
I know you don't have contact with Mike. Often when I say things like that, it's meant as a "that's the problem source" comment, not a literal-meaning comment. We have tried to take this up with Mike. He doesn't want an open relationship. We want freedom. So it seems we are at an impasse for the most part.Tunes14 wrote:im also not arguing with this.
I never said you were.Tunes14 wrote:i was clarifying what still counted as house rules versus what did not. sometimes those lines are unclear, so i was clarifying what i considered to be house rules versus what i did not consider house rules in regards to the opinion and suggestion that was to follow. i didnt call you dumb, and there are in fact some 'dumb@ss teenagers' reading somewhere on your end anyway, so cool it.
I don't need clarification on what counts as house rules and what doesn't.
I know you didn't call me dumb. I never said you did.
(They're not as dumb as they make themselves out to be half the time).Tunes14 wrote:meanwhile, why is the place you are living an issue here? is he going to kick you out if you only obey the house rules? is he going to kick all of you out because only some of you will date him? if so, then he has you fuking chained down and until you can get out of those chains, you dont have much of a choice. in that case, its a matter of please him as long as you fuking have to and then get out of there and dont look back.
No, he's not going to kick us out, but while we live with him, we have no freedom. We share a room with him, so we can't exactly have people over (well, friends we can, romantic interests, not so much). And even if we didn't share a room, it's kinda awkward and rude to be bringing around other people to the living place that we share with the boyfriend.Tunes14 wrote:if he wont kick you all out for it, then why do you have to make a bargain with him? is this his arrangement - that you have to have it his way or the highway? if thats the case, (again, this is assuming that dating or not, he wont kick you out rite away) then it sounds to me like this is his ugly choice, not yours. you arent causing cassandra to lose him, you arent causing her heartache - your just looking out for yourselves. hes the one that chose to leave. hes the one who said he either gets all of you or none of you. dont take responsibility for his fuking threats. if hes not going to kick you out over it, then why do you have to listen to his nonsense?
Because we can't just start doing whatever we want and not care about him or how he feels about things. That will end the relationship in a bad way, on bad terms, and then even though he might not kick us out, he's going to want us out of there as soon as possible. Tunes14 wrote:as for getting out of the house, i think that should be done whether or not cassandra stays with mike. i doubt hes going to stop dating cassandra just because she doesnt live with him full-time. and if he is, then hes an @sshole anyway and good fuking riddance.
We never said nor implied that he would stop dating her if she gets her own place. That's been the goal anyway as part of getting back on our feet and getting a job and sh*t. But we're tired of waiting for that to have our freedom and space.Tunes14 wrote:dont get all melodramatic and depressive on me.
Don't tell me what to do!! You don't like it?? Don't talk to me!! 
(Luna, calm down, that was not a personal attack on you).(I don't care. I didn't like it and it was mean. I can "get" however I want "on" anyone! Just like I have a right to say whatever I want!) (Yeah, and haven't I said similar sh*t to you before?)(...Yes.)(And it's not meant in a mean way, is it?)(...No... )Tunes14 wrote: of course you have a rite to be happy - at LEAST as much as some fuking man. in my opinion, women have more rite to be happy than men on a general basis. but thats still beside the point. you all have just as much rite to be happy as anyone else out there. what i was saying was that going far enough to say that no relationships are allowed and no sex is allowed - those would be stepping on the rites of the others, so i cant help you there. but you can choose to stay single for yourself, not sleep in the same bed as mike while you are staying there, and when you have your own place, then if you are the one out, you wont be sharing the bed with anybody - it will be your fuking bed. but you cant say that your comrades here cant do their thing, and as long as mike owns the bed, you cant kick him out of it (though you can refuse to sleep in it). so your kinda out of luck until you get your own place.
I want to actually BE single for myself!! That's the problem!! I want to not have to worry about how things are going to affect Mike even though I'm not f*#king with him! I want to be able to talk to who I want, hang out with who I want, and not have him get all butt-hurt over it! And I know I'm out of luck until we find our own place! Not that I care anymore anyway! (Let me say that she's not upset with you so much as she's frustrated at the situation itself and she feels like she's not being understood but does not know how to say what she's trying to get across in a more clear way, so she's also frustrated with herself).Tunes14 wrote:no, i was thinking in a life partner, were-going-to-live-with-this-guy-the-rest-of-our-lives way. in that sense, they deserve a vote. and depending on how serious the relationship is, it *could* mean all that for the kid. but as that isnt the case, and your not planning to live with anyone forever (yet?), and they can still visit whoever they like best, id have to agree with you that it doesnt concern them.
We're not voting about that issue right now, though, and we're not taking that into consideration right now (at least not for the voting sense or the main focus/issue sense). We decided as a group that the littles aren't a part of this current vote right now. Tunes14 wrote:of course not; in any normal circumstance, i hate actions, not people. im sure there can be exceptions, but they would have to be pretty extreme, like a person who cares about nothing but rape, or something. anyway, it certainly doesnt apply to any of you.
We are glad to hear that, as we think the same way about all of you and how we dislike actions more than the actual person themselves. Tunes14 wrote:no, the session went terribly. the guys a complete quack. says hes treated people with 'multiple personalities' before, didnt seem to understand most of the basic concepts of DID, and in private, told sarah that she needs to be careful and not assume she knows whats going on: there is a good chance we may just be borderline. what gets better is that when she asked what that meant, he explained borderline (first off, in terms of little elves - which confused sarah so much she couldnt hope to repeat the explanation to me) and then when he summarized, he seemed to be saying that it meant that jess was just faking because she was desperate for attention. which then sent off denial triggers that i was busy fighting all nite. to make matters worse, sarahs mother (the one sarah lives with and who provides our safe environment to be ourselves) thinks this guy is on par with God - in part because we wont find anyone that charges less than $30 a session - and believes every word from his mouth - because hes a 'professional'. im surrounded by fuking morons. (thanks to cassie for helping me get through the nite, btw.)
We heard about this. (And I am refraining from reacting how I truly wish to right now, as it'd be easier to censor everything than try to censor each swear word I'd be spewing).
We are glad that Cassie was able to be there for you, and we will pass on your thanks. We hope that somehow, things are able to improve for you, or at least not get that bad, and I wish you all the strength in the world to stand strong and keep fighting.
As a last note, I would like to quote L.C., in what pretty much sums up this whole issue for us:
"This is an issue of being tired of being told what we can and cannot do. This is an issue of wanting freedom before we have to give it up if they reach the point of marriage, and at the very least, when we let them get back together in a full, serious relationship. This is an issue of being tired of being trapped and suffocated by a decision that none of us wanted, none of us made, and none of us agreed to (or agreed to at first, then changed our mind, but that was only two of us). This is an issue of feeling that it is unfair that we don't even get a taste of the freedom we should have and deserve to have, especially before we sign it away forever if it gets to the point of marriage. This is an issue of being tired of Cassandra always getting her way, and always sacrificing what we want and what would make us happy to make her happy. This is an issue of wanting, for once in our life, to be able to have the freedom to like others in a romantic way and express that we like them in such a way (even if we can't have the relationship we want, something is better than nothing, and right now, we're tired of always having to settle for nothing, and the plans that we come up with to supposedly let us have something haven't worked that well yet ('course they might work better once we have our own place again, but we're just tired of compromising. We think that for once in our life, we deserve a time period of actual freedom and space, especially before we have to give it up for the rest of our life if it reaches that point))."
- Kat & others
Especially since I'm not the only one of a different sexual preference, so it wouldn't be "just for me"... 
). 
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