Please help me, very confused.

So, recently I've been forgetting basic things my boyfriend has asked me to do as well as things my tables have asked for (I'm a waitress). There are times when I feel like I'm watching a completely different person do things with my body, and I can't stop them. Apparently this person isn't different enough to raise any flags with my boyfriend or coworkers, but I am convinced this is a totally different person. Sometimes even those people seem different. There are times when I black out for short periods of time, and wake up and am not sure what I was doing.

I feel really crazy, and I know that none of you are doctors and can't diagnose me, but I don't really know what to do. Googling told me that it might be dissociative identity disorder, and further googling brought me here.

Though I've been forgetful in a bad way and every once in a while felt outside of myself as long as I can remember, it started badly after my boyfriend and I had our second miscarriage in January. I'm just not sure what to do from here. Any help would be appreciated.

My only suggestion would be to do what I did, when you feel like you've been 'intruded upon' try to approach that consciousness. If that even makes sense. Create a world inside your mind, so that you can visit that world, and look around, you may find your other self in this world. But this is based on my expierence, everyone is different.

Seb

As for the job, and forgetfulness, it seems to be helpful to tell yourself the thing you need to not forget. This also needs to be done with a word you could use to affirm you've recieved the information. For example: Table one has 3 persons, one person wants water, one wants coke, and the last wants tea. Forgetting this could be easy, but as you start to walk away from the table say to yourself, "one water, one coke, one tea." Then you would follow it up with affimation word, mine used to be "heard." Though I suppose it could be anything. Consider the repititon to your self typing a document, and the affirmation word the save button. I hope this method proves useful.

--- Alabaster

Hello! I hope you find this place helpful to you! It definitely seems like you have a strong possibility of having a dissociative disorder, possibly DID.

What I would do is take a look at these sites and threads, see if any symptoms/experiences "fit" you or if you identify with them or have experienced similar things yourself, and if they do, I would start to look into DID further and possibly begin looking at options to get a diagnosis or at least get into therapy (make sure it's with someone who is familiar with dissociative disorders, though. Things like DID are often misdiagnosed as schizophrenia, psychosis, borderline personality disorder, or bipolar disorder).


-- Here are two websites that explain DID fairly well and list out symptoms and such (they also have up-to-date, valid information that is credible):

http://www.dissociative-identity-disorder.org/
http://www.dissociative-identity-disorder.net/



-- This thread contains organized threads from this forum that discuss symptoms, common questions, discovery experiences, communicating with alters, all about alters, memory issues, and much more:
- DDNOS/DID Resources: http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic100829.html


-- This thread focuses more on the "causes" of DID, DID development, switching/co-consciousness/co-hosting (what they are and how they can feel), doubt/denial issues, and has a couple good threads on how to communicate/accept/understand/work with alters:
- For all who question how they have DID/think their's is odd: http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic104081.html


I hope things become clearer for you.


~The Hawk

You are describing severe depersonalization and some dissociative amnesia as well. You don't clearly describe identity alteration, though, so I would not assume a diagnosis of DID. All those symptoms are common and normal after a traumatic event such as a pregnancy loss: that is acute stress disorder. If the dissociative symptoms continue, that is a dissociative disorder or (if there are flashbacks etc.) post traumatic stress disorder. Are you getting any counseling? Do you have an Ob/Gyn or women's health clinic you like? They may be able to recommend a helpful counselor, therapist, or high quality support group.