Baby alter - help!

ooooooook.

So it looks like we have a headmate who is very, very young. We've taken to calling her "Screamer" because that is what she does.

She is triggered by abandonment, but in a weird way that we cannot entirely make sense of - sometimes saying goodbye to a friend will do nothing, and then we meet a random stranger down the pub that she takes to and we'll basically give an excellent impression of a madwoman on the way home (we can control the screaming but not the facial contortions. must look pretty scary). She also seems to come out when we're too drunk to control switching, which means no drink for us right now.

The thing is - what do you do with a little like that? She is too young for language, so we cannot talk to her, and doesn't yet care about toys and such - she must be only a few months old (and is probably the explanation why our mom says we were the "happiest baby ever" because she went inside practically after birth). The poor thing is really desperate, but none of us knows the first thing about babies, let alone how to find her inside and make her feel ok.

Help please.
Ruby

Most babies like soft cuddly things so stuffed animals in the vicinity or touching the body will probably be at least welcome. When our baby came back at first, he didn't have much control over the body. So I was able to control an arm/hand and tickle the face with a stuffed animal and the face reported his surprise, then happiness. The smiles were unmistakably those of a baby. I was also able to pat him on the head to let him know someone was there who was benevolent. His control of the body progressed so whenever he was out and I tried to control the hand after that, I couldn't without feeling I was fighting him, pushing him out of the way or upsetting him.

Several of us also tried talking internally to him when he was out. He looked around and seemed to be scared at first, like who was there? After a while, he seemed calmed by it. We knew he didn't understand what was being said, but the tone of voice seemed to be soothing, especially a younger-sounding voice. One of my alters Jack seemed very good and proactive at finding the littlest ones and taking care of them inside. He even got bitten by Ashar and didn't complain. (Okay, it didn't hurt much, it was inside.) When some upsets happen, he steps up and now so do other littles, including the very young ones.

When a little is out and there appears to be any possibility of danger, Dan takes over, angry at us for not being more protective, though we disagree about that. If they're big upsets, triggered ones, we've decide as a system (I think) to let these play out, not to interfere. My point here is that you may have alters who are better at interacting with your baby alter than you. Take advantage of any skills that are there and any avenues of communication you can find.

There are definitely things you can do with baby alters. I never thought of this but I suppose you could sing baby songs, lullabies, to them outside or inside. I have a few baby programs on my iPad that I play before going to bed. Adam has learned by watching us and can touch the screen so he now controls things to some extent. When he gets completely stuck, we send him visual images of a hand doing whatever he needs to do to keep going. We keep sending it until he does it.

Because your baby gets triggered by abandonment, it seems she experienced some profound neglect. I can so relate to not being able to control the facial expressions. Sometimes I feel a little rise up with emotion during a conversation at work. I can control most of their expression but I know little things "leak" through to the face. I don't know what it looks like but I've seen a couple looks to know that the listener sees something momentarily.

You may find this threads helpful:

A baby identity (discusses how to help/comfort a young alter):
http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic100127.html

May Be Triggering News About Baby Alter (discusses taking care of a baby alter):
http://www.psychforums.com/post1055061.html

These might be helpful as well:

-- Any advice for a homesick little? : http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic70455.html

-- New Little Alter, advice? (a type of follow-up from the previous thread listed): http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic71167.html


I know it's not a real helpful answer, but basically, treat the baby alter as a baby in real life. Comfort them, watch over them, care for them, find things like a soft blanket that they like, etc. Both inside and out. Rain cares for Lynn in our system. (She watches the other littles at times too, but mostly it's Lynn since she's the youngest and needs Rain the most).


- Cassandra/mixture

Babys are a wonderful edition..
they need
they want
but they cannot express only through tears, crys and screams.
you can give these creatures ultimate love.

Through us being sick as a baby.. I had the wonder of raising a few baby alters.
Now they are charlie and charlie and few others unknown to my hosts.
hope you find how much of a wonder the babies are.

Claureshia

Thank you all for the replies - that makes sense. I now have my first cuddly toy in 20 years

We're a bit all over the place just now, but your tips are very much appreciated!

Ruby