Our Update

Soooooooo....where have we been what have we been doing. I've posted before about not being able to find a therapist and thats still the case however I have found an emergency place we all know we can go if things get to bad. Which could lead to an inpatient situation if necessary. everyone knows where to go and where it is even the little ones not really a prospect we are looking forward to if it happens.

We have been quiet on here lately....there has been alot posted lately that we just cant deal with. We do read and maybe shouldn't for a bit but we are drawn here to people that do understand and are sometimes going through just what we are.

It has been a real struggle for us to stay focused to not switch like crazy and its effecting us alot. I missed a very close persons birthday by two days and I feel horrible about it. The kids pop in and out but wont stay out or in its like we are phasing in and out but nothing concrete. This is making work very hard because I get so frustrated and cant focus on what i am doing and its starting to be noticeable even though people at work have no clue about all of us.

So alot of our time is spent trying to focus ourselves again and stabilize again Us adults are having a really hard time with this because we know we cant crash because we have to much to lose by doing that. Its like always being on edge of whats going to happen and when

Sorry for rambling I just needed to talk this out a little I guess. I hope you all are doing okay or as okay as you can be

Ashley

I'm glad to hear from you! I'm sorry you're having a hard time finding a good T.... and I have heard a couple people mention that recent posts have been triggering to them too, so you aren't alone there!

I totally understand about coming (even if it can be some hard topics) because at least people 'get it'. I have no idea who I would talk to that I don't have to give money to outside of here... I had attempted to talk to my closer family; even ask if they would care to meet one of the alters (who were fine with it) just to take away some of the fear/anxiety about it. It's not that they aren't 'receptive' but you can tell they seem uncomfortable and never follow up so I just don't talk about it.

Sorry about the birthday...that can be so disappointing...my friend for over 20 years has a bday a month and 2 days before mine....and I've done the same thing. Luckily, it wasn't the first time - so she forgives me. Be gentle with yourself - you have a lot going on.

So...what would help organize who is handling what in your outside world?

If it helps at all, I know that you feel 'if they only knew', but I can tell you as a Singleton, i have the same thoughts. Not just about DID in my life... but about me as a person. I may not have as?? pure?? emotions as some alters display; but I sure can reflect on a lot of the same thoughts and moods of some of the ones I've met here or seen in m son. The urges too. I dunno if others are the same or if I compartmentalize and have the tendency towards dissociation and just never had to split.... but I can relate to feeling alone while surrounded by people.

The good news is....I think everyone feels that way to an extent. It may be different types of struggles, but it's pretty normal that we're all having them in our own way.

There are some nice posts on here about music, poetry, good times...maybe focus on those or PM someone you feel raises your spirits. Sometimes giving a shout out to those who make a difference to you not only feels good for you - but gives them a bit of 'good' too.

many warm thoughts.

Also....one thing that we've recently learned and are using more is actually trying to find that 'happy place' I know this is a bit odd . . . many people on these boards may just go inside....but what else? Can you think of a moment/experience where you felt peaceful and just hold it in your mind; think of the senses that were affected (sight, taste, sound, touch, smell) and if your mind starts to wonder, shake that off and get back to the peaceful place.... Or a moment or person that you feel safe with. Think about their smile, their eyes, that moment. Be careful if this is a person who might have also let you down...to just focus on the good moment...or a time when YOU were the nurturing person towards someone else... I dunno. Lately we have been trying to think about stuff like this. Who is our hero... (imagined or real) what good moments today or last week or some time... did we feel peaceful, joy, comforted...

We try to end our nights with these thoughts/feelings.
Warm thoughts and safe hugs if wanted...

nice to hear from you, but so sorry things are tough right now.

we hope they get better for you soon. maybe work on grounding techniques or something?

- ??? (possible mixture)