I think a new alter has surfaced...

Last night I went to my exes house to get some things I still had there, and I remember leaving, driving a few miles, then I came to 2 hours later. My other alters all claim that it was not them, and I can't "feel" anyone else, and I trust my other alters. Are there instances where none of us are aware of a new alter?

Yup. A few of my alters were like that, and at least half of my alters knew about some of each other, but didn't know about all of each other.

Alters aren't "new" to existence, mind you. They're only new to your (and in some cases your alters') conscious awareness and knowledge.

I've lost count how many times now I've done or said something, or felt in the mood to do or say something, and I'll say "That wasn't me," and then I'll take a quick poll from the others and realize, "And I don't know who that was..." And then sometime in the near future, a "new" alter will (re)surface. Sometimes none of us were aware of that alter even existed, sometimes one of us was aware but hadn't told anyone for some reason, with Cassidy, Marie hadn't told anyone about her because Marie was hoping that Cassidy wouldn't "wake up"/wouldn't be "woken up" yet (I think Marie wanted to wait until we were back in therapy), sometimes some of us were aware but hadn't been able to communicate that yet, sometimes there's an alter blocking the others, sometimes alters actively hide and don't let other alters talk about them, there's lots of possibilities to not know about an alter's existence.


-Cassandra

Cassandra answered this better than we could have, but we figured we'd reply anyway.

We have discovered quite a few alters who were completely unknown to all other members of the system. Like Cassandra, sometimes one (or a few) were aware that a particular alter existed, and sometimes none of us knew about them. It's definitely possible, and actually quite common.

A quick thought, you said the ones you know of claim it wasn't them. Did you ask them all if they have any idea of who it might have been?
There have been a few times when someone inside has known who it was, but didn't tell us because we didn't ask that particular question. Sometimes alters won't give information unless it's specifically asked for.

Wow Holy Crap. I was gonna type something but ACrasyBunch's Signature just gave me a random flashback. My Mother used to tell me to tell other people That when I talked to myself in class when I was young... (Which apparently I did...?) She had lots of shirts about "The Voices"... Sorry. I don't know where that came from....

Anyways.
I was Going to say I've been reading The Journal and read about others that are hiding from every one... Which doesn't make much sense to me, but hope it helps in some way. Sorry if It didn't

We just had an alter appear in the last 24 hours and none of us knew about him. We're still really sketchy about who he is but he seems very young and gentle. As when any of them arrives, my first feeling is "I must be making this one up." It's such an old song and dance, I just have to let it play out. Clues arose that were identical to alter discoveries in the past.

An intense discussion about something while IMing, my typing slows down incredibly and child words and phrases come out. Emotions are high, a feeling of blocking (fullness, feeling filled) arises, a name actually drifts upward, Edward." I realize the body is now inhabited by someone who isn't me. In fact, he's not recognizable as anyone we've met. He feels different but maybe I'm making it up, why, to gain another alter? Why in the world would I want to do that? He has a different body language that I can't place. Gosh, he is very young. I can't take the body back, I'm trying to have an effect and I can't move anything. This isn't usual. So I send suggestions. Stand up. We need to stand up. In a couple minutes the body stands.

The experience isn't mine but I can sense his and it's shocking and pretty cool. We are tall, ridiculously tall, like a giant really. The body can reach the top of the doors, we seem to tower in the sky. It feels like we're looking down on the room from above. And yet I can see through the eyes that everything is at the right level. This is an odd experience, a twisting of my reality. The eyes take in the room and they're seeing something from higher than I usually do yet from the same angle! Gosh, we're tall and big. Is this a little house? is a thought I hear.

We walk to the bedroom, so very slowly. Someone is doing as we suggest but it's so slow. We undress slowly, climb into bed slowly. He is unusual for one of our young ones. The darkness affects him not at all, no childish fears, no running to escape the bogeyman in the darkness and into the lit room. This one is so little, maybe it's Adam, he's almost a baby and he seems to be feeling like a giant and a small child in the bed. But this fellow isn't looking for the stuffed animals. Maybe he's confused so I suggest he reach out and touch them. He does, grabs a leg, then pulls his hand back. No interest, this young one isn't Adam, who always grabs and snuggles with the stuffed animals, makes funny little sunds, and is frantic if the count is off. This one doesn't seem quite sad but he's not happy. He seems to be thinking, confused, a bit frozen. He's thinking. About good and bad I think, like we were IMing about. Like we (he?) typed the end of the IM. He's so tiny and he knows there's good and there's bad and it hurts to do bad things. Because when you're bad, you see their face and then you hurt.

We didn't talk to him much. We should have. Tonight a friend suggested I ask Sphinx if he were real. Of course, why didn't I think of that. Every time before, Sphinx knows. Immediately he responds like an android There is a new boy. He is here with us. It's settled, if the strong pieces of evidence hadn't been enough, the Sphinx confirms it. When I ask how he knows, even though I could guess the answer, he says I can read the patterns of the body in a way you cannot. I know the patterns and this is a new pattern. It is clear. I read the body.

He doesn't fit the theory so far so we have to change that. Sphinx knew of 8 alters and didn't know of the other 8. The ones Sphinx didn't know about all came after my arrival and it appeared they came to help me. I used to say I created them but I realized it hadn't happene that way. Edward was in the body before me yet was unknown. Little John, former host, must have needed someone to help him figure things out. I guess together they did.

No one knew this boy. He must have been asleep like everyone else. Where was he? Does he have his own memories? Was his trauma what it seems to be, not external hurt but an internal one about whether he should be good or bad like the parents? We've asked the question a million times. Why didn't we turn into a monster too? Sometimes over and over and over we ask it, with no answer. He is so young. Can he be the answer?

We didn't know he was here but he is. Are there still more? If yes, they will be welcomed like he is and loved because they deserve it. There were 13 of us by age 6 because there were monsters in our midst.

I don't mean to be wierd or anything but when I read that it sounded like a soothing lullaby tale Johnny-Jack -??

I don't think that's weird at all. His influence was very present as I was pondering him. He's new and his influence is new and open to me now. It's quite nice but it's extremely young and simple. Images from books of fairly tales we were read throughout early childhood float by. Good people, like kindly grandmothers, nice parents on a picnic, good animals who help little ones. Bad people, like wicked stepmothers and witches, goblins and ogres and things that hide in the dark. He knew these things existed, the books tell us about these things. Who wrote these books? Big people like mommy and daddy but somebody else's mommy and daddy, not mine. They wrote these books. It feel like Edward was trying to figure things out and it was really hard.

The parents are both scary monsters, like in the books. But not all the time, not every day. They read to us and pat our head and help us get dressed and hold our hand to cross a street. It doesn't make any sense, we have to figure this out. What is the right thing, how can I be good. Do I have to be good? I mustn't be bad. How do I know what to do? What do I do? How can I tell? I have to figure this out.

I have a sense of our hand trying to be bad like we had happen to us. Somebody hitting another child in the face with our hand. But that child cries and we look at their face and we feel bad, so bad. We hurt because we did that. It hurts bad, it hurts like the child is looking like it hurts. There is good and there is bad and this was bad, very bad. We don't like being bad. It hurts to be bad. What is bad, what is good. I think we know something now because of our hand.

The whole subject has been a terribly frustrating puzzle for me, one that sends me off into mantras of repetitive questions. From one angle, I wonder how did I turn out good not bad? how did I know? my parents were so bad, they were bad people, they hurt people and they didn't care and they lied and smiled and everyone believed them. They said they didn't do it, they didn't do anything. What do I do? What am I supposed to do? From another angle, I get stuck in wondering how could any adult hurt a child? how is that possible for a human being to be so cruel? It seems impossible? Wouldn't they stop themselves? Can't they see, are their eyes blind? When they see, why don't they stop? How can they be human and do these things to a little child. It doesn't make sense and I have to figure it out.

My mind has gone spinning around and around in circles from these two angles with no answer in sight. I keep asking the same questions and there are just no answers. I've often thought it was my questions, but they often seemed more Little John's, yet he was so young as well and he was before me. Little John knew the parents were both bad and he was only 2.5 when he first woke up and he knew then. So I should have figured out that the knowledge of good and bad, being able to make the distinction somehow happened before me. There were several of us who would watch and make sure we weren't doing the bad things. We spent a lot of time looking at what we just did, evaluating it for badness. It was a constant, tiring mystery and it feels like we found the source of the answer.

I did as the others if they knew who had gained control, and none of them could tell me. Jackson is usually really good about helping me recall what happens when an alter takes control and I am not co-conscious. But this new alter is completely blocking myself and the others. I can't even feel its presence like I can with the others, and it is all happening like it did when we started noticing the signs. I lose large chunks of time, and no recollection of what's happened. That's how it started 2 years ago, I'd lose time, but until I finally told someone about it in January, I didn't know what was happening.

Sorry for kind of hijacking this post above BTW. I definitely sounds like you have a new alter and I'm pretty sure I've even read of a similar experience on this forum before. I wouldn't wait to see if it happens again, I would try to communicate as openly, positively, inclusively as possible now. Write to the new one, talk aloud or internally to them, whatever you think might work or try all ways. The blocking may not be deliberate or it may be done by another alter, but in any case, unless you have evidence something negative happened during the two hours there's no need to panic.

Does it seem that something about the interaction with the ex could have triggered somebody? Was anything about it upsetting or activating? Do you have any recollection of what you might have been thinking or feeling before you lost time, at the ex's place, as you were leaving, after you got into the car? Even the vaguest sense might help discover who it might be. Sometimes a whiff of a hint about what's going on is the only thing I have had to start with.

The last nine alters who have appeared were not known to any of the alters who were already accounted for. But we don't lose time anymore so we were able to communicate directly verbally or via journaling.

It was the second time I had seen him since we broke up in October. It was a actually a nice time. We talked and I got to fill him in on what's been going on in my life since I was released from the hospital in January. I felt good leaving, even texted with him as I was driving about making plans soon. So I remember feeling really good, and then bam....2 hours gone. I don't think anything bad happened because nothing has come to light yet. It's just a bit frustrating that I was starting to get a handle on working with the other alters and now I have one I can't even talk too hijacking me.

I will say that my other alters are keeping watch over me. Jackson is pretty much around all day staying very close in my mind to see if be can catch it. Andy has also taken to the night shift, so once I take my meds and lay down to go to sleep, he takes over to see if he can try and stop the new alter. They are being crazy protective.