Round Two

Eesh, so I got off to a rough start. I spoke with the moderator and I was brought to realize that I had gravely miscommunicated. I'd like to establish a place in this community, and this thread is my attempt at such. I will share my opinions here, attempting to use less caustic language. Please bear in mind, if you choose to read the rest of this post, that the views shared are my opinion, and that I am aware of their status as an opinion and not demonstrable fact.

In regards to the initial fiasco in Tomboy's thread:
I would never advocate the viewpoint of ignoring DID as a cure. What I saw in Tomboy was a chance for radical acceptance... For a moment, she had suddenly believed that she, the host, had total sovereignty. If she had chosen, she could have kept that belief, but everyone just talked her down from it, like such a stark departure from the struggle of DID was something to be concerned about.

My aim in joining this community is my own personal development, of course. My concerns about the way things are run here stem from experience. I guess I can't keep talking like I know what I'm saying without sharing a least one part of my story...

There was a period of roughly two and a half years where I was split up a whole bunch of ways, and I had to struggle to even have thoughts of my own. There was one other person who was similarly minded, and we bonded over our voices and treated them like entirely disparate entities. I remember having the thought in my head, on multiple occasions, that this was all a sham, and that I knew I could stop it... but then I'd get caught up in it again and the cycle started anew... voices and names come and go and nothing got better. One day, the schism occurred between me and my compatriot, and I decided not to allow myself to be controlled by my insanity. I know now, and fully appreciate that each of the people in my head are a part of me and are in no way separated. Their disparate identities don't make them any less me. I still know them, and can speak with them if I wish, but I don't get swept away in the story of my life.

This is the part where I may be prone to cause offense.

All this colored text stuff is a comfortable fantasy in which the participants put on glittery glasses and view the world as a place where they're the star of some diverse drama. It's how pubescent children with DID would act. I'd put down money that at least a couple of the people that have been on this board didn't actually have DID, and were using that schism as a coping mechanism for some other psychosis/neurosis, even going so far as to convince themselves of it in order to feel fellowship and acceptance. It's counter productive because there's no forward motion in comfort... and saying that everyone's approach/condition/experience is different just allows each of you to come up with whatever random jargon you want and say it's helping. I saw Tomboy experience a moment of radical acceptance of her own mental health, but the rest of the community was too afraid of losing one of their cast to encourage it. It isn't about suppressing your selves... Just knowing how to take their opinions and thoughts as more of your own.

Comfort and stability are nice, but complacency is a real killer. I think a dissenting opinion would help some of you better realize where you stand as an individual, who is experiencing disassociation.

Hi ƒrosty. I think it is good that you've started this thread to clarify. Now that I understand your point from PMs it helps as I read this. I think probably some people are going to jump to particular things you have said here and miss your point a bit still, but we'll see how it goes. I think people will find it inflammatory for some of the reasons I got confused by, like seeing sovereignty as a way of taking power away from some parts and your use of the words complacency and stuff like that. But I get that you are trying to explain here, I think it's just a difficult concept to grasp.

The bit where I think you are not necessarily right is with the coloured text. For example, I already essentially view my whole system as "salted lipstick" which is what I think you are trying to say, but occasionally I use coloured text, not to let some parts get away with saying whatever they want type of thing, but more to indicate to myself where other parts of me disagree and what I won't remember writing. I think it is still ok to allow some parts an appropriate freedom to express a view different from what other members of the system think. I think it's desirable even to have this expressed in an appropriate manner so that other dissociated parts are aware of what other parts think. I think you are more or less saying though that this doesn't need to get out of control to an inappropriate point where it is simply creating drama as opposed to increasing knowledge? Would this be correct?



I think everyone should avoid commenting on Tomboy's situation here please.

ƒrosty wrote:In regards to the initial fiasco in Tomboy's thread:
I would never advocate the viewpoint of ignoring DID as a cure. What I saw in Tomboy was a chance for radical acceptance... For a moment, she had suddenly believed that she, the host, had total sovereignty. If she had chosen, she could have kept that belief, but everyone just talked her down from it, like such a stark departure from the struggle of DID was something to be concerned about.

You were mistaken in what you saw, then, no offense. That is not what was going on. What was happening was an alter of mine was convincing me that I did not have DID at all and I was faking it, or lying about it, or simply acting. What you saw and read was a continuing battle with denial and the alter that was promoting the denial, and in denial themselves about having DID. I could not keep this belief because it was not at all helpful to me to live in denial and just ignore everything and not work through to get better from this. I had not suddenly believed that I had total control. I suddenly believed that I was a liar, a faker, that I was acting, I had suddenly believed in the denial and was living in denial (and I continue to battle to not live in denial now). Everyone talked me down from it because they were supposed to, because I was in denial, because I was believing myself to be a liar, a faker, an actor, when I am not, and when my DID is very real.

I just wanted to clear that up. Other than that, I agree with SaltedLipstick. I respectfully ask that other people do not discuss my situation on other threads, at least not without asking me about it first and letting me know that I'm going to be talked about. It's very triggering to me, it bugs my OCD, and I really dislike it. It makes me fear that people will spread untrue things about me, get the wrong idea about me, gossip about me, etc.


Aside from that, thank you for posting this and explaining yourself, and welcome to this community. This is a safe, understanding, and supportive place, and I hope people read through your thread and understand where you're coming from and such as I have.


-Cassandra

Not sure if I should but I am

HI!

ƒrosty wrote:All this colored text stuff is a comfortable fantasy in which the participants put on glittery glasses and view the world as a place where they're the star of some diverse drama. It's how pubescent children with DID would act.

Actually the colored text is used to distinguish that one specific dissociated identity is speaking instead of another identity in a system. Surely you are aware that many of these identities are pubescent children and many are pre-pubescent. So if they sound young, it's because they are young dissociated parts.

The specific phrases you used -- comfortable fantasy, glittery glasses, star, drama -- sound far more like a projection of things you are or were uncomfortable with in your own system than an accurate description of what's going on in other people's systems.

So I decided to read this and the only thing I truly got from it was that Frostys point : proven correct by all below comments and other threads. So thank you for making me aware of the ignorance and lack of control as humans you are and know that their still are people in the world that can make such significant contrast to the world to know there are always better. I am also appreciative I know how to understand words and not be grasped into my own dissatisfied ear and actually try to understand. Children will be children. *tisk*tisk*

*edited by admin*

Valfreyja, please be polite when responding to posts. It is not appropriate call other people ignorant for most of your post and then to go on with a deeming "tisk, tisk" at the end. If you are not even bother going to try and understand a post (as you said at the end here) refrain from posting insults in reply as this is completely disrespectful and against forum rules.

Adameil your post is inflammatory, disrespectful and against forum rules. Using evocative language such as accusing someone of "prancing" into the forum, describing them seeing themselves as "perfect", "you-the-self-declared-king" not to mention the "head out of your *ss" comment and then provocatively using many colours for the sake of trying to inflame. I'm seriously disappointed at this behaviour and how badly you've gone against the forum rules here.

You guys don't need to be disrespectful when disagreeing. Stick to the forum rules and be constructive with your posts instead of attacking people on what you see as their personal traits.

First off, I've never been diagnosed with DID and probably never will. But I like being here, so I stayed after a question I had was answered. So yeah, HI.

I agree with SaltedLipstick's point about every part of you expressing their own viewpoint. I'm afraid to say that I'd ignore the perspective of my other parts if they didn't post threads here. And I think that falls under the umbrella of ignoring DID, which is something that frosty did not suggest. I think that frosty's suggestion assumes good communication with and awareness of all parts of you. frosty, please correct me if I'm wrong.

As far as the colored text goes, it would be way more ostentatious to have different posts for each one or different screennames, which is what parts of me have wanted to do. But no matter what, we do take responsibility for what each of our parts says here. That isn't what this is about.

frosty, I think you have a good deal of experience, and I'd like to more fully understand your meaning.