Short-term Coping Techniques?

Putting it bluntly, I've had 2 psychiatric admissions in the last 4 months. I went in to hospital in November, got discharged 3rd January and now I had to come back in on 18th January.

I'm having therapy twice a week with a woman who has some knowledge of working with people with DID and my team are all going to a seminar/campaign to learn more about it.

The problem I have is my dissociative episodes have been happening nearly every day since October. Even as an in-patient I've had two episodes where I've found myself passed out on my bathroom floor with the nurses putting me in the recovery position.

I have my CPA today. It's all well and good talking about long-term therapies and techniques, but what about the short-term?! How can I stop myself dissociating so severely and to such a huge degree? My main dominating personality is called Sally. I think you could call her both a Protector but also a Saboteur. She has control over all the other alters too, even me most of the time when she shouts orders into my ear.

Has anyone else had this? I'm lucky in some respects that I've been admitted to hospital again because this is just getting ridiculous. ANY help would be appreciated. I'm getting truly desperate D: I think the staff here at the hospital are too! As you can see below where I've listed all my medication, they seem to just want to mask all my other symptoms, which the meds do to some degree but they don't even get close to stopping me dissociating.

Trix. xoxo.

Sometimes there aren't really any short-term coping techniques.

The main goal to help things run a bit smoother and work a bit better would be communication, communication, communication. Work on trying to communicate with your alters, either through talking out loud, talking in your head (so thinking to yourself), writing them notes, etc. Remember, alters are parts of you, and you're a part of them. You all make up the same person, and are all parts of the same person. No one's going to go away, disappear, etc. You all have to learn to work together, or at least be on the "same page", to some degree. The more you know and understand about your alters and thus yourself, the more you're going to be able to understand why they do what they do, where they're coming from, how they think/feel, etc., and that will help you to be more able to try and work with them. That, and the more you know, the more you'll be aware of. Increasing knowledge about all parts/alters of yourself helps to increase awareness about yourself, and increased awareness helps you to progress to things like co-consciousness (having more than one part/alter aware of what's going on in the outside world), co-hosting (having more than one part/alters in control of the body), switching at-will, having more of a "say" in things, etc. In the beginning, increased knowledge and awareness will help you to be aware of when a switch is going to happen, when a switch has happened, if you're co-conscious at all without realizing it, if you're co-hosting at all without realizing it, basically it'll help you have more knowledge/understanding about what happens and when at least.

Things like this will also help you to progress and heal as a whole.


You all share this mind/body, and you all deserve to share this life. All of you deserve equal rights/freedoms (to a reasonable extent, of course, can't have alters running around doing just whatever they want if what they want is illegal or something like that). The main things that I've worked on that's helped me tremendously is communication, understanding, acceptance, respect, and compromise. Keep in mind that your alters were all there to help you, to help you survive and cope and function, and they're still there trying to help you survive the best they know how. They try to protect and help in ways they know/think are best, by ordering around to lessen the risk of alters making what could be seen as "mistakes", by protecting you/others from memories/knowledge, by holding emotions for you, by protecting you from others if they push everyone away, by protecting you from punishment that's still feared if you talk about things you "aren't supposed to", etc. Their efforts to help can often come off as unhelpful and confusing, but it's because all parts/alters are trying to survive each in their own way, the best they know how, so their survival ways often conflict with each other's and then that's where you get a bit of a mess, and then you can have alters who try to "control" the mess by telling others what to do and such. This is why communication and understanding is so important. Especially because alters often lash out if they're feeling ignored, unappreciated, uncared for, unloved, unaccepted, misunderstood, etc. Just like you, since they're parts of you and you're a part of them, they deserve to be listened to, appreciated for what they've done in the past/what they do now (in terms of how they try to help, not necessarily for the way they try to help), cared for, loved, accepted, and understood.


Things that can help communication:

1) Make sure you're feeling as safe, comfortable, and relaxed as possible. The more comfortable you feel, the more comfortable your alters might feel. And being as calm as possible will help you to calm/clear your mind, which will help communication be a bit easier/clearer, and it'll help reduce the risk for there being subconscious barriers and such. Wear comfortable clothes, put on some favorite/calming music if possible, do some mediation before trying to communicate, whatever helps you to relax.

2) Reassure yourself and any alters/parts that might be listening (even if you don't get a response, they could be listening). Tell yourself and them that you're safe, they're safe, everything's ok and safe, you only want to get to know them a bit and try and help them, it's ok for the to come forward/out now, it's ok for them to be known about, etc. Most alters/DID systems need reassurance because they're so used to being in an unsafe environment and they're so used to hiding. This is because the whole point of a DID system is to help the host/main one "out" cope and function while seeming as "normal" and "ok" as possible. If the DID and alters are obvious, known about, or "found out" about, then that's not help you to seem as "normal" or "ok" as possible, so they try to hide/stay hidden, and need to be reassured that it's ok for them to be known about now.

3) Try talking to yourself in your head (so thinking to yourself), asking if there's anyone who would like to come forward or talk or something. If you get no response, try talking to yourself out loud (even a whisper is ok). If that gets no response, try writing an alter a note and leaving it for them, that way they can answer as they please the next time they're out/forward. If that gets no response, you could try communication via body movements, like asking if they can move a specific finger or something, and work with yes/no answered questions on (like, tapping a finger once for yes, twice for no). And then if you get no response, just keep trying. Sometimes it'll take a bit before someone feels up to communicating.


Things to help dissociation:

1) Grounding techniques. Things like deep breaths, counting to ten, mediation, self-talk (out loud or in your head), having a "safety object"- something that you can carry with you that helps you feel safe that you can touch/hold to help feel more "here" and a bit calmer, self-narration (like self-talk but telling yourself what's happening/what's going on as you're doing it, like "I am walking right now, down a hallway" to help keep yourself "here"), having a song that you sing to yourself that helps you feel calmer/safer/better (even if you whisper it to yourself, that can help you stay "here"), etc.

2) Journaling. Writing down what happens each day, anything you experience, your feelings/thoughts, etc., can help you keep track of things that you could forget later, or that might be important in some way, or something like that. It can also help things like memories and timelines stay a bit more organized, and it can help be an outlet for you and any other part of you that wishes to write in it. And if parts have an outlet for their thoughts/feelings, it can help with dissociation sometimes, because then you're minds not as busy all the time. You're able to get some of those thoughts/feelings "out of your system" in a way by being able to express them on paper. That, and you can also use your journal to write yourself notes so that you don't forget things (like things you had planned or wanted to do or seem important or something). You can write your parts/alters notes in your journal as well and possibly use it as a form of communication.

3) Taking things day by day, having small goals, celebrating any accomplishment (no matter how small), focusing on the positives, and being patient with yourself. This stuff isn't easy to work though a lot of times, nor will it be quickly healed from. Don't be too hard on yourself, and don't expect anything to get better or rapidly improve overnight. Just take things one day at a time right now, and take care of yourself. Your health, mental and physical, is priority number one.


Hope that was somewhat helpful to you. These threads might also be helpful:

-- This one contains resource websites along with organized threads from this site that deal with communicating with alters, understanding/accepting alters, helping alters, working with alters, conflicts within the system, therapy issues, and much more:
- DDNOS/DID Resources: http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic100829.html

-- This one focuses mainly on the "causes" of DID, DID development, switching/co-consciousness/co-hosting, doubt/denial issues, and has a couple good threads on communicating/accepting/understanding/working with alters:
- For all who question how they have DID/think their's is odd: http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic104081.html


Best of luck to you with everything!


-Cassandra

Those medications could be the culprit in your fainting(?), and given your diagnoses they don't seem appropriate either. You are fortunate to be in the UK. Do the staff at your hospital know they can get an expert consultation with the DID experts at the Pottergate Centre?