What's the "inner world" like for you guys?

I've read that a lot if people with DID has their own "inner world", where alters can go, a safe place etc... Like, alters having their own places... in the inner world. I guess it's different for all systems but I've heard that a lot of you have inner worlds/places where your alters goes.

On this forum I also read a thread about searching for alters, and that people described it like searching on the outside, but the difference was it was on the inside... This inner world-thing isn't something that I've experienced myself. Could it be that there is an inner world without me knowing? I don't know much about my system, they're all pretty quiet but I'm trying to communicate with them and getting to know them.

Anyways I was just curious on what it's like having this inner world that I've heard people talking about. It sounds nice, I've read that alters can go to a safe place if they get scared etc (in some systems at least). And what about "discovering" your inner world (if you did that...? Like I said I don't know anything about this really)? Not every system has an inner world, do they? I'm thinking that the inner world probably has some meaning in it, like, every alter was created for a reason, and then I'm thinking that the inner world also was created because it was needed? Am I wrong here? I'm just guessing you know.

There's threads on Inner Worlds in the DDNOS/DID Resources thread, actually. And then there's these two more recent threads as well:

-- Questions regarding Inner Worlds: http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic105938.html

-- Living in the inner world?: http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic105876.html


As for us, personally, Kyra's written a thread explaining how our inner world(s) work, what it's like, etc., here:
-- Realization Vomit!: http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic105434.html



-Cassandra

For me, its not that I go to a safe place. Its much different for me. I have never met anyone with a case like mine. For me, I don't go anywhere. I stay right here as one of my "Friends" Just points me in the right direction. I become who they want to be. I fully turn in to who I feel as though I am supposed to be. When this happens little of the actual me remains. At times I dont even remember what I did the previous day. At times I will forget entire conversations. I have even gotten in to the car and wondered how I got where I was going. But for the most part I know exactly what I am doing. I find a comfort from what I do. Not where I go.

Actually, there's more like you than you realize, Osiris08, because what you're describing is switching/co-consciousness/co-hosting, not actually going into an inner world inside your mind. I experience the same things as what you're talking about, and I also have an inner world that I can go if I don't want to be co-conscious or co-host, or if the switch is "full" (meaning, I am no longer "out" anymore whatsoever). You're also describing lost time. But that's not the same as going inside or into an inner world. Some people can't go inside, some people have to have more awareness and time has to pass before they can go inside, some people don't have an inner world, and some have always been able to go inside- it varies from person to person.


-Cassandra

Could it be that there is an inner world without me knowing?

Absolutely. Many times, it takes the host quite a while before they're able to see the inner world. Some don't have one, some do, some can see them from the start, others can't; it's all individual to each system

For us the inner world is much like an outer world. It's pretty huge (mountains, darkness, castle in the clouds, several forests etc) and while some only have a room and a couple of things, others have everything they could want and live their lives on the inside. It's a great refuge for many.

Kinda like when I dream I find myself in a better place? A more relaxing place that you can go to to feel free and at peace? I had that when I was much younger, but it faded when I met Lone Riot.

Yes, kinda like that. If you'd like to read the thread "Questions regarding Inner Worlds", there's helpful posts that describe what the inner world is like, what it feels like, what people see, what it's like to go in, etc. (That inner world thread is posted in the first reply I made to this thread).

-Cassandra

lifelongthing wrote:

Could it be that there is an inner world without me knowing?

Absolutely. Many times, it takes the host quite a while before they're able to see the inner world. Some don't have one, some do, some can see them from the start, others can't; it's all individual to each system

For us the inner world is much like an outer world. It's pretty huge (mountains, darkness, castle in the clouds, several forests etc) and while some only have a room and a couple of things, others have everything they could want and live their lives on the inside. It's a great refuge for many.

That sounds interesting, thanks for sharing! I'll keep my eyes open.

-- Sat Feb 02, 2013 10:19 pm --

tomboy24 wrote:Yes, kinda like that. If you'd like to read the thread "Questions regarding Inner Worlds", there's helpful posts that describe what the inner world is like, what it feels like, what people see, what it's like to go in, etc. (That inner world thread is posted in the first reply I made to this thread).

-Cassandra

That's great, thanks for sharing! I'll definitely take a look at the thread, hopefully it'll be helpfull.

-- Sat Feb 02, 2013 10:24 pm --

tomboy24 wrote:Actually, there's more like you than you realize, Osiris08, because what you're describing is switching/co-consciousness/co-hosting, not actually going into an inner world inside your mind. I experience the same things as what you're talking about, and I also have an inner world that I can go if I don't want to be co-conscious or co-host, or if the switch is "full" (meaning, I am no longer "out" anymore whatsoever). You're also describing lost time. But that's not the same as going inside or into an inner world. Some people can't go inside, some people have to have more awareness and time has to pass before they can go inside, some people don't have an inner world, and some have always been able to go inside- it varies from person to person.


-Cassandra

Could it be that my others are in this inner world (if we have one) when they're not co-conscious/co-hosting? Sometimes I get a pretty strong feeling of someone being co-conscious with me, and then I also have times when I don't feel anyone being co in any way...

Is there like a reason that the inner world was created in the first place? Or maybe that's too hard to answer?

If inner worlds are created, they're created out of a need, just as alters are developed out of a need for a protector, or a memory-holder, or a caretaker, etc. Inner worlds are created out of a need for a safe place to be, either for the alters or for the host alter, or for all of the system. Some people don't have inner worlds, some people don't have access to their inner worlds, some people can have access but it needs to be worked on, and some people have always been able to easily access their inner world. It varies from person to person. Everyone's different.

When I feel "alone", like I'm not co-hosting or co-conscious, I know my alters are inside the inner world. (Which, by the way, is a LOT more easier to visit and see and hear and such after all the work I've done increasing my awareness and knowledge of everything with my system and myself).

For people who don't have inner worlds, however, alters usually are "asleep" when they're not out. Simply meaning, they're only "active/conscious" when they're out or co-hosting or co-conscious.

Time will tell if you have an inner world. I used to just think I had an over-active imagination, and that I was just daydreaming. Turns out I was dissociating and going "inside" to my inner world! It's amazing how many things you learn and realize once you start to look at them with the awareness of knowledge of DID and what's going on and what things are.


For a glimpse at how diverse and intricate inner worlds can be, I'd recommend another thread I posted in my first reply, Kyra's thread of "Realization Vomit!". I've learned that I actually have inner worlds, not just one inner world, and that each host pretty much had their own inner world, and then each alter had a piece of their own inner worlds as well. It's like... Each host had their own world/planet, and then each alter had their own land within that world/planet, and each is different, based on different alters' likes, dislikes, ways of thinking, ways of coping, wants, imaginations, etc. We're still learning more about Kyra's inner world compared to the one I have for now, and we've begun to get better at connecting/travelling back and forth between the two. (This makes a lot more sense and is explained a lot better in Kyra's thread by the way, and in a lot more detail).


-Cassandra

I often thought I was simply day dreaming or something as well. But if that was the case how would entire days disappear from my memory?