Sexuality and relationships

Hi lifelongthing,

When I read your post... I saw what could've been a future for me and the person I loved. Well.... sorta. In your case, many of your system is into your SO. In my case, I was only dating Gatsby; Sahara and Evo supported it, but were not in the relationship, and Evo was into another relationship with a guy. There's Avatar, whose opinion I don't acknowledge, and there are two more, who we barely know.

I've been wondering... how did it evolved for you? How are you feeling right now?

When I was with Gatsby, I didn't want to be in an open relationship, at least not like that. And I couldn't suppress Evo to be with his guy. I was in no position to do that.

When I read your post I admired that your SO is ok with you having other relationships; and I just melted knowing you don't feel comfortable entering into another relationship.

So.... how has it been for you? How are you these days?

Only if you want to share.

Wishing everything is more than well with you.

Sea

When I read your post... I saw what could've been a future for me and the person I loved. Well.... sorta. In your case, many of your system is into your SO. In my case, I was only dating Gatsby; Sahara and Evo supported it, but were not in the relationship, and Evo was into another relationship with a guy. There's Avatar, whose opinion I don't acknowledge, and there are two more, who we barely know.

Sorry to be blunt, but why do you not acknowledge Avatar's opinion? That doesn't sound nice for him, honestly.

I've been wondering... how did it evolved for you? How are you feeling right now?

When I read your post I admired that your SO is ok with you having other relationships; and I just melted knowing you don't feel comfortable entering into another relationship.

So.... how has it been for you? How are you these days?

It's evolved fine, really. We are still with the SO (have been for several years now) and I enjoy it a lot. I just don't feel for her sexually. It's kind of weird sort of but it's like being in love emotionally but without a sexual component. I've tried being intimate with her but it really isn't the same as with someone I'm sexually attracted to.

I like a man who likes me back but nothing is going to happen there and we are both aware of it and try to maintain a good friendship instead

Sometimes I get tired and wish I could get what it is I want most of all, but for the most part I'm happy with the way things are. I have a lovely best friend who I do feel love for and we have a good time together So I'd never leave and I don't feel trapped like I did at first. I do feel like I want to work with our therapist about why it is I'm one of so few straight parts in here since that doesn't seem like "the norm" for our system but besides that I don't really have any issues with this.

It's lonely at times, but that's just the way it is. No life is perfect I have a lovely life though with lots of support and understanding and caring. In the end, that's worth way more than just sex.

Lifelongthing,

What you say is so beautiful.

lifelongthing wrote: Sorry to be blunt, but why do you not acknowledge Avatar's opinion? That doesn't sound nice for him, honestly.

I tried to say that I don't know. English is my second language. This is an awful mistake. Of course his opinion matters, it matters a lot to me. He's just so shy, that he rarely fronts. I know he's very religious and not that much into sex.

lifelongthing wrote: It's evolved fine, really. We are still with the SO (have been for several years now) and I enjoy it a lot.

I'm glad it evolved fine and that you enjoy it a lot.

lifelongthing wrote: I do feel like I want to work with our therapist about why it is I'm one of so few straight parts in here since that doesn't seem like "the norm" for our system.

Could it be that you long for what was portrayed to you as "happiness" as a child, in this heteronormative society?

A friend of mine is gay, and even though, he enjoyed it and was pretty open about it, he had some issues accepting it to him self. And it was only when he told his father, and his father told him he already knew and he loved him the same way, that he stopped having nightmares. So even though he embraced him being gay, he had a part that still struggle with it, and a part that is attracted to women (only a 5% of himself as he says).

lifelongthing wrote:I have a lovely life though with lots of support and understanding and caring.

I'm truly happy for you, and I hope, that if I don't get to be with the one I love, I can be as your friend who is supportive, and whose friendship you enjoy and value.

Wish you all the best.

Sea

I tried to say that I don't know. English is my second language. This is an awful mistake. Of course his opinion matters, it matters a lot to me. He's just so shy, that he rarely fronts. I know he's very religious and not that much into sex.

That makes a lot more sense Glad to hear it.

Could it be that you long for what was portrayed to you as "happiness" as a child, in this heteronormative society?

I was made a heterosexual because I was made during a previous relationship to be what he wanted me to be. So it made sense, really. It just isn't productive anymore.

A friend of mine is gay, and even though, he enjoyed it and was pretty open about it, he had some issues accepting it to him self. And it was only when he told his father, and his father told him he already knew and he loved him the same way, that he stopped having nightmares. So even though he embraced him being gay, he had a part that still struggle with it, and a part that is attracted to women (only a 5% of himself as he says).

I'm 100% fine with thinking of myself as a whole as gay. I don't mind trying gay sex (as I have in the past). I just don't feel sexual arousal while attempting or thinking of sexual things with a woman, not even a woman I care deeply for and think of as beautiful. I guess it's due at least in part to the reason I was made. Hopefully therapy can help with this though

I'm truly happy for you, and I hope, that if I don't get to be with the one I love, I can be as your friend who is supportive, and whose friendship you enjoy and value.

Thank you I hope it all works out for the best, whatever that may be.

[quote="lifelongthing"]I was made a heterosexual because I was made during a previous relationship to be what he wanted me to be. So it made sense, really. It just isn't productive anymore.[quote]

Get it!

Surely therapy will work, and you'll find your answers within you.

Thanks for your words, and for everything you've shared here, many, many of your post have helped me understand him/them, the one that I love.

Sea

I'm very glad you've got something from some of our posts, that's lovely to hear

Best of luck going forward with whatever type of relationship you end up with with them