You have Asperger's? Well, then I think I can sorta understand your troubles with understanding and being understood. Autism (-related) disorders are common in DID/DDNOS/dissociative disorders because, people with autism have more trouble understanding people, have more confusion and thus can handle less stress. And that doesn't include all other issues with handling stress that are common in people with autism/Asperger's/etc. (I basically heard this from my therapist, but it makes much sense).
About self-help books: I've read one. And it was the last. It is often like 'you should do this and this and this and you'll live a better life'. It just doesn't work that way. Everyone is different. But parts of the books can, of course, help. Just be wary of the pitfalls and the non-working positive thinking strategies they use (even if they don't acknowledge it and say they don't work
).But they have a good point. A wrong mindset is really hindering. Everyone has a certain mindset ('glasses') and it never equals truth, no matter how much we want that to be true. It is important to always look for what one sees wrong.
I hope you will see what I mean. This is meant helpful, although it may not feel that way. Know that I care about you and try to help you no matter what.
I think there is something wrong with you point of view. Again, I don't mean this as an insult, it is intended as pointing out a flaw, with the intention of helping you become better. Everyone has flaws. For one, I would like people to point out if I have such flaws.
You say everyone and everything has hurt you. Or at least, that seems to be the message you give. But I'm sure this isn't really the case. Think of people who did help you. And don't immediately start pointing out what they did wrong. Or that they were insignificant. That may feel to be the case, but it probably isn't the case. Think of things you have gotten to in your life. Yes, maybe people have gotten further, f*#c them. Don't compare with those. It doesn't help comparing yourself with people that have gotten further financially. But there's so much more than that. Compare yourself with yourself previously. That will give a better view of how things are going. If you're improving - great! Even if it's small, it's an improvement. If things are going worse now - you will get over it. Look at why things are worse and start from there. Or look whether there are things that are actually improving. Focus on that. You're so much more than you see currently.
As far as not feeling accepted here - you are accepted. The thing that upsets people is what Kat said very well. When you see things CAN get better, and asking help for that, we will help you with that. When you're only saying everyone and everything is hurting you and you have so much problems and everything we suggest doesn't work... how are we able to help? Sorry, we do our best, but then it's just not possible to help in a meaningful way. And I know you can be different. It will take effort - any mindset/attitude change takes effort. Much effort. I don't deny it. But it's so much worth once you see the bright side of life! Everyone up here has tried to help you. As others said before, and I will repeat that, if we didn't care about you we wouldn't respond. We would just leave you. But that is not the case. We care about you. You just have to see it.
And social phobia... it probably won't be an official diagnosis for me or anything, but in the sense of the fear of social situations... join the club! I think many of us in this forum have issues with it. Heck, why would I come here in the first place? And the PTSD/DID/whatever that made them come here made matters even worse.
remusmdh wrote:I need such extreme amounts of detailed repetitive lessons to learn new things... well there is a reas... anyways.
You mean you have talents in small things? If that's the case, that's Asperger's (but you probably already know this). I have seen, for me, the talents, may compensate the loss of 'normal' (i.e. neurotypical) abilities. It was hard to accept at first, I'm really sh*t in social situations, but it is improving now and I have recognized I have talents in other areas. Not everyone is the same. So not everyone has the same abilities. Yes, you have difficulty learning. What do you think was one of the reasons I'm now dissociative? Another story, and it doesn't really belong here, but difficulty learning has increased how often and how severe I got into trouble.
Just know you are accepted here. You deserve to live. You deserve to be accepted. You just have to see it. And no, I'm not saying 'get over it', I'm saying you have to see there are other ways. Once you see they are there, you're soo much closer to healing!
(Wow. This was a long write. And that with how fuzzy I'm now. Anyway, I hope it will help you. If it's too much, just read it in parts.)
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