Unknown Need *Possibly Triggery*

*Possible Trigger Warning*
(not bothering with colors)

I need something.

Need need need.

But what?

I don't know. No clue. No inkling. None.

I feel like I'm babysitting myself, grabbing at thin air with guesses and checking off a list.

Need need need.

What need?

Food? No.
Water? No.
Soda? No.
Music? No.
Blanket? No.
Stuffed animal? No.
Sleep? No.
A hug? No. Don't want one.
Have Mike home? No, I don't feel anything particularly negative about being alone right now.

Need need need.

There is a need. Anxiety. A knot in my stomach. A yearning for something. But I have no idea what.

Need need need.

I need to feel ok. I need my stomach to be calm. I need to not feel like I have to fidget. I need my mind quiet. I need to feel ok. I need to feel ok. I need to feel ok.

Need Need Need.

I just want to feel ok. Why can't I feel ok? Why? I need to feel ok. Why can't I feel ok? Need, need, need.

I don't think I'm scared. I don't feel upset. I don't feel sad. I just don't feel ok. My stomach's a jumbly mess, not quite nauseous, but definitely not calm. I just want to feel ok. I just want to be ok. I need to feel ok. Why can't I feel ok? There's no reason for my stomach to be upset.

Need need need.

I just want this to stop. I just want to feel ok.

- Cassandra/Mixture(?)

I'm sorry you're having a tough time right now. I know what its like to feel that way. To just want to be ok and nothing feels ok for awhile. But know that you are strong and will feel better soon. Trust in that knowing until the bad feelings pass. Just hold on as best you can and things will level off again soon. We always feel better eventually cuz we are strong and can survive anything. I hope you feel better soon. Alysone and Shamer

Thank you for your reply. It's definitely appreciated.

Sometimes it's hard to remember that eventually, everything passes, especially when you're "in the moment". So thank you for reminding us of that!

I'm feeling a bit better today. Still feel like I need something and don't know exactly what but it's not as strong and for the most part, I feel ok.

Hope you're doing well yourself!

- Cassandra/Mixture(?)

Thanks for asking about me. I'm barely hanging on. Finally see T tomorrow after 12 days. Feels like an eternity. Memory and new part emerging. Will probably end up posting about it. Take care! Alysone

tomboy24 wrote:*Possible Trigger Warning*

I need to feel ok. I need my stomach to be calm. I need to not feel like I have to fidget. I need my mind quiet. I need to feel ok. I need to feel ok. I need to feel ok.

I just want this to stop. I just want to feel ok.

- Cassandra/Mixture(?)

I definitely know how that is Sarah gets like this a lot and it's hard to calm her down sometimes. I'm sorry that you have to deal with that

uraeus wrote:I definitely know how that is Sarah gets like this a lot and it's hard to calm her down sometimes. I'm sorry that you have to deal with that

We're sorry that you struggle with this, too. We hope it gets better for you over time.

~A mixture of us(?)