by tomboy24 » Fri Jan 18, 2013 2:09 am
Yes. We have. Numerous times. Either out of curiosity, need (based on situation), experimentation, or sometimes we must be dissociated to learn more about inside things, such as our inner world.
For us, overall, yes, it was more difficult to leave this state after prolonging it, at least by choice. Unfortunately, it seemed to get easier for things to trigger us out of that state, usually in a bad way. It was like it magnified the trigger, as if the trigger got strong in response to our dissociation being prolonged/stronger. If we're not triggered out of it, though, it can lead to prolonged feelings of "fogginess", "fuzziness", and derealization, even if you try to not be slightly dissociated or want to not be slightly dissociated. So, that along is a big reason of why we've stopped intentionally prolonging our dissociative states.
HOWEVER, we also came to learn that if we caught ourselves "zoning out" or starting to, prolonging thoughtful dissociation seemed to have no "side effects" as long as nothing triggered you. Things or people could surprise you out of this state, or they can scare you a bit, but as long as no specific triggers happen, there was no "side effects" for us. But only with thoughtful dissociation, such as what you were mentioning with exploring your thoughts, and we usually find it's best to do it alone, almost like meditation. (If we do it around people, we've found it can cause prolonged "fogginess" and such for us. Unless they're not trying to interact with us).
We have felt similar to what you've described with feelings of paranoia and anxiety, and we understand where you're coming from. (We're sorry that you struggle with those, by the way). We've found that the more we rely on an escape, any escape, including prolonging dissociation, it gradually makes everything get worse and not better. It's like...continuing to use crutches after you don't need them. Eventually your legs are going to get weak and so when you try to walk without the crutches, or find yourself needing to walk without the crutches, your legs are going to be too weak and you'll struggle immensely, if not fall. The same goes with escapes, at least for us. The more we rely and get used to having an escape for things, the less we're going to learn about being able to cope with things, the less we're going to adapt, and the less we're going to progress.
BUT, we found that with thoughtful dissociation prolonging, there were again, no "side effects" in relation to paranoia and anxiety. In fact, with thoughtful dissociation prolonging, we began to learn a bit about thought control, including ending thoughts we would no longer like to explore, and that's been helpful to help us end paranoid thoughts and anxious over-thinking. (And again, we found that it works better to do this alone or at least when no one's trying to or supposed to interact with you).
What we've found to be a help with anxiety and paranoia is working on controlling our apathy, not our dissociation. Even L.C. and Luna always have the ability to feel, but whether or not they choose to care about those feelings or their causes is what helps them to be able to "turn off" those feelings and become apathetic, though not dissociated. You don't have to be dissociated to be apathetic. And since apathy is more neutral than anything, it's not exactly a bad skill to have. We've found it useful in many situations, especially with social anxiety.
So, we don't know if we were exactly helpful or not, but that's our story.
-A mixture of us(?)
| Cassandra; Kat/Kataki; Rain/Riyoku; Shay/Shadow; L.C. & Luna; Ray; Cassie; Lynn |
| Prism |
| Marie; Valera; Phenix (Rebel); Dallas & Damone; Kyra; "Blank"; Bridgette; Cassidy |
| "Hannibal"; "Big Ryan"/Ryan; Keith/"Little Ryan"; Kuro |
| Hawk ; The Doctor |
| Aurora (mermaid), werewolf, silent one, black ponytail, Kichijoten, The Master |
| Maiingan |