Hardest Thing To Do

So my abusive ex boyfriiend who is the father of my daughter found out that I had DID and got temporary custody of her. He's not abusive to her. Anyways, the court gave me some visitation rights after months of supervised visitation. We are going to re-evaluate things in 6 months to see if I should get shared cusotdy. However, my husband talked to my daughter one on one and found out that she puts on a show to be happy in front of me because she feels like the reason I'm sad all the time is because of her. That's a lot for a seven year old to deal with.

So, I said she could live with her dad. Yes, it hurts, but I can only say that I just want my daughter to be happy. I wasn't happy as a child and that's what I want for mine. So if she's happier at her dads, then be at her dads.

It sucks. It hurts. But I feel like I'm doing the right thing.

You're very strong and kind to do that. There's lots to be said about raising children with mental illness, but in the end all that matters is that one tries the best one kind and puts the child first. You are doing this and that makes you a good mother. All my best.

He better not be abusive to her. F*#king c*#k-s*cking low-life m*therf*#king scum. How dare he be abusive to you. -KAT

We commend you for this most difficult decision, but we believe you have indeed made the right choice, at least for now (and as long as your daughter is happy and the father is truly not abusive at all to her- including verbally/emotionally/psychologically). Your health and stability must come first, because that is what will help you to be able to give your daughter a better environment without her feeling like she "needs to be happy" around you. However, have you ever tried simply talking and explaining things a little to your daughter? Explaining that you're not sad because of her, but you're sad because of things that happened in your past, or something like that? Because sometimes all a child needs to know is that they were mistaken in what they thought (such as her not being the cause of your sadness).

We wish you the best of luck with this difficult journey, and we hope that your daughter has a happy, healthy stay at her dad's until you're ready to take her back. Take care of yourself.


-A mixture of us(?)