Not Sure What To Do

Hello Everyone
with how I have an internal being that is 2 months old my T told me I have to take care of the baby as if the baby is a real child she says it will help with things my spouce doesn't understand it at all and told me that I should just ignore what my T told me to do I am trying to get my spouse to understand that by taking care of the doll(baby) it will help me to heal and to make it so I need few internal beings that once I start to heal the wounds I have then I will be able to intergrate easier that I have to do somethings that feel and look foolish in order to heal from what happened to me as a child any advice will be great if any one has a little that is 2 months old I will really aperciate any adive in fact I will aperciate any advice in this matter thank you have a nice day
GrayWolf

My son is the one who has alters, so I understand how confusing it can be for a signifcant other... Is there any way your spouse would go with you to a session with your T so that it might be explained in a different way to answer his questions about why this would be helpful?

Our youngest alter is about 18 months - 2 yrs old. what has helped and what we have done is for me to help give him something he did not get when he was little. I believe 2 of his alters were created when he was only a few days old - he was 2 month premature and in an incubator.... but these alters grew with him and are the same age/seem older... BUT - we still have the little 2 yr old. What HE needed was to know I did not abandon him. I was a single parent and had to leave him to work... I don't think he really believed I was coming back and locked that part away... So, to help him, I let him sleep in my bed and he woke up about every 2 hours to make sure I was still there... after that, he seemed much more brave (inside).

But he is still insecure and so there is Mitera inside - she was a surrogate mother-figure created when my son lived with his father and she takes care of the Littles. Sometimes, if an alter is out speaking with me, my son will go inside and he will play with the Littles and talk with them.

I am not sure how developed your system is. If you have a 2 month old alter 'inside', can you create a nice place for you to sit with this baby and rock, sing, feed the baby? Do you have someone who can (be outside/front) while you do this? Is there someone inside that could provide these needs to be met?

It seems you are saying that you should use a doll on the outside... this makes sense to me, but if it is awkward or not working; can you just take some time to write out what you would do with a baby that size? How you would care for it? What the baby needs...what you needed/deserved? And bring this in to your next session with the doll?

When our little one is 'out' I ask him to close his eyes and think about himself as the little guy he is (he gets sad about the body being so big he can't sit in my lap!) and ask him to imagine our rocking chair and I hum or sing songs I used to... If you do not have support and cannot have alone time to care for the doll...can you think about what you would have wanted as a little baby; maybe a soft touch - stroke on your arm - and allow yourself to give your own arm a stroke and imagine how it would feel to a little baby...comforting, secure, safe...

I'm sorry to go on. I hope I have not triggered unintentionally. You deserved to feel safe, secure, and loved as a wee baby. It is ok to be gentle with yourself and do what you need to help heal... I hope your spouse will come around. Things out of our control can be scary and we might end up feeling defensive or angry because we don't understand and it hurts us too - to see those we love hurting or sad. You might even say "I can tell this makes you uncomfortable..." and then maybe "I respect you feel that way. I feel differently than you - neither of us is wrong; we just feel differently...and for now, I want to try this. I hope you understand" Just something that seems to work when my own spouse and I disagree. Sometimes we just have to say "I don't agree...but I accept your feelings"

((Safe hugs if wanted ))

GrayWolf, I have an infant who is now 8 months but has taken on a couple abilities beyond that age. I've treated him as the baby he is and I have to say that nothing else worked. Adam doesn't seem to understand when we speak to him other than that our voices seem friendly. Because he was such a puzzle for me, I started letting him into the body regularly at bedtime. He's come to expect that and our system feels upset when we don't make that happen.

He's stepped forward on occasion, positively triggered into the body, as in a toy store or when I browse a stuffed animal online. I can tell it's him because of the funny facial expression and the body mostly stops moving and seems confused as to what to do. But he has learned to walk/toddle. He can't understand verbal directions but accepts picture ideas for things like opening a door using the door handle. I got Adam a rattle thing and he loves his stuffed animals. An infant alter is a dissociated part of you from that age, so as with any child alter, it's important you give them a sense of safety and belonging. If you have an inside, they may benefit from some safe time there, as HopeIsHere describes.

Alters, and that goes for baby alters, won't just away though they may go into hiding or hibernation. But they can't heal without attention and an opportunity to feel safe and grow. Don't hesitate to enlist the help of any alter who happens to be good with little kids. If nobody is, it doesn't matter, someone has to do it.