Suicidal Little One **triggers**

Me and Nadia have suddenly found ourselves in a predicament. I be knowin' Jo and Theresa mentioned one of our little ones, Danny. He be seven years old and he only feels the need to come out when Jo be disciplinin' an animals.

See he likes to hurt animals. It's all he's ever done. He'll hardly talk about anythin' else when I try to check up on him. Nadia was creatin' animals for him to occupy himself with but someone, can't rightly remember who, on here mentioned that was just encouraging him. So Nadia be startin' to take them away from him slowly. About a week ago he had none left.

Last night, he tried to kill himself in the inner world. Now I don't be knowin' much, but I don't think he can exactly kill himself in the inner world, but so far he's been hurtin' himself quite a bit. We've got him under constant supervision, everyone is chippin' in even Rachelle who's caught up in her own memories - except my other little ones, they don't need to see about this.

Nadia took over my watch to come ask ya'll folk what we should do? I be knowin' we need to get him to know he can be likin' other stuff but animal torture, but we don't be knowin' how exactly when he never wants to come out to see nothin' unless it's gore or an animal bein' hurt.

Any advice for you fine folks?

- Michael

I'm so sorry this is happening. Will he talk to anyone about what he is feeling or what he is trying to accomplish by doing this (*trigger* killing himself, I mean *end*)? Does he know that the body/he is safe now and that things aren't like they used to be?

I'm sorry I'm not much help right now (it's the middle of the night) - but I hope someone else might be of more help.

All my best! Best of luck

He doesn't really be talkin' much, but I'm pretty sure he don't be even realizin' he's comin' out in the body. He's out for such a small amount of time that I honestly don't be thinkin' he took the time to see that the skin color be different. He just be in this constant whirlwind of thinkin' of one thing.

I don't be knowin' if it's a good idea, but maybe him talkin' to one of the other little ones could help. Or even Milana, seein' how she's a wolf and won't be takin' his abuse at all.

- Michael

Danny sounds similar to our Cassidy.

I'm not sure how much it'll help with the suicidal part, but maybe this thread will at least help in some way.
Help! *TW: disturbing new alter*: http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic94943.html

What I've learned with Cassidy is that mostly they need understanding and acceptance. Don't try to change much of them or their interests. They're different, and that's ok. They simply need guidance to know appropriate input proportions of their interests and to have safe outlets.

For example, Cassidy loves watching gore, serial killer movies, serial killer documents, destroying things with sharp objects, etc. But she's not "out of control" when she's allowed safe outlets and is understood. Like, when I was washing a knife to prepare lunch, I let her come out with me and feel the knife (safely, of course), and I allowed her to play with it a bit as long as she was good and such. All troubled kids want is to be understood, accepted, and loved. Usually they realize they're "different", I know Cassidy did/does. She realizes her interests are different, and that she "plays wrong", and other such things. She realizes she's not like other kids. But what she needs to realize and be taught is that it's ok if she's different, as long as she's "safely" different (hope that makes sense).

Another important thing is to learn and understand why kids behave the way they do, why they do the things they do, and why they like the things they do. Ask questions all the time. Ask why he likes certain things, how they make him feel, what he enjoys about them, why he feels the need to do them, etc. The more you learn and understand about why Danny likes and does what he does, the more you'll be able to work with him and know how to help him. (Especially if the reasons for why he likes/does things is due to abusers or being forced to be that way or something like that. If this is the case, he needs to be shown that this behaviour isn't all there is to the world, and he needs help in realizing that there can be love/care in the world and he can experience it).


~The Hawk

I be thankin' ya, Hawk. I'll do your suggestions and I'll read the post you linked for me.

I know when I first came he had already ostracized himself from the others. I guess because he didn't be seein' any similarity between himself and the others. Even Amelia doesn't be likin' gore as much as him. I be goin' to him everyday to give him some interraction, but I ain't sure it be helpin'.

As far as his safe version of interests, maybe I can get Jo to be playin' some horror films. She be likin' those. D@mn last night her and her husband watch Saw 2. Maybe if the husband is on board he won't mind Danny comin' out to watch some of the gore. So much d@mn communication I gotta do, but it be worth it if Danny can stop bein' so...don't rightly know how to describe it.

I just be wantin' my only boy to be happy, really.

- Michael

Of course you want him to be happy. I want Cassidy to be happy to. But I realized that I have to understand and accept that she's not like the other littles, so different things are going to be appealing to her and different things will make her happy.

*Possible Trigger Warning*
One of Cassidy's favorite things to do so far is to rip paper from her sketchbook (and sometimes break her colored pencils) while watching a cartoon called "Happy Tree Friends" which is very gory and violent (yet animated/cartoony). This cartoon would never be watched by the other littles, and it even has the ability to make Cassandra wince/flinch at some parts due to the amount of gore there can be. But it makes Cassidy laugh and she has fun watching it, so I allow her to. It also keeps her from having strong desires to act out on her own violent impulses and such. Allowing someone to watch, draw, write, and/or talk about something are always good outlets to try, as they can help get things "out of their system", so to speak, and safely express themselves. This can help reduce their desire to act out on their impulses/behaviours in unsafe ways.
*End Possible Trigger Warning*

It's no different than having an alter who prefers to watch "My Little Pony" over "The Power Rangers", or something like that. The only difference is finding safe outlets for the different interests and behaviours, and guiding them to an "appropriate" amount of exposure so that such interests and behaviours don't become their world (hope that makes sense).

I don't know if I'd start with something like Saw, just because as I said, things still need to have some guidelines and be as appropriate as possible, so there does still need to be boundaries. Since he's young, I'd maybe look into gory/violent cartoons first, and then possibly begin looking into gory/violent movies, but selectively. Truly "adult" films that are meant for older audiences such as Saw and Silence of the Lambs and such should be kept "adult" if able/possible. Perhaps you could try films with splashes of gore? Such as a horror movie with a plot, but there's scenes with gore and violence in them. Like, "The Children of the Corn", or "The Thing", or something like that. Or even "B-horror" movies such as the Tremors series or something. If you'd like, I could post/make a list of movies we've cleared for Cassidy to watch to help give you some ideas.



~The Hawk

Thank you, Hawk, for all your help. Last night I remember hearing in my head Danny was trying to kill himself, but I didn't know what to do (especially since I was stoned) and I ended up just crying on my husband's shoulder.

Me and my husband have watched "Happy Tree Friends" before and knowing what I now know I think it's a good place to start. And my husband likes it, so he can be there to keep an eye out for what Danny is doing if Danny chooses to come out (especially since we have the cats and a bunch of knives around - most of them hardly sharp and only for decoration).

I'd appreciate any other movie or cartoon shows you might suggest. We have Netflix and between me and my husband plenty of horror films to have access to if something you suggest is in there.

Funny, up until now most of my alters have told my husband they don't like horror or gorey movies. I love them, they don't trigger me at all, so it would actually be something Danny and I can share. Kind of makes me feel better about him.

Yes, the first couple times that Cassidy made an appearance, Cassandra was fairly upset and confused, especially with all the dark/"disturbing" drawings she had done on paper, on stuffed animals, and on our body. But now with understanding and acceptance, we're learning how to work with Cassidy and how to help her be safe while still being "different".

One thing we've learned is that being stoned actually helps when Cassidy comes out. It helps to keep her calm enough to not have "random" violent outbursts; it helps to "slow" things down for her so that there's less risk of her being unsafely impulsive; it helps me to be co-conscious and co-host with her so that I can be a sort of supervisor; and it also helps her to feel safer/more comfortable with showing other emotions, such as sadness, and it helps her to feel other emotions such as happiness, instead of only having/knowing a numb, violent, uncaring opinion towards everyone/everything. For example, one time when Cassandra was feeling she was close and hearing her song that she sings (she always sings the Freddy Kreuger song), Cassandra decided to smoke a lot before she came out. By the time Cassidy surfaced and was fully "out", she was very high, and it ended up helping her to show/express that yes, she can be seen as "disturbing", but she's still human, and she's still a little kid. And just like any little kid, she has feelings and emotions and everything too. She just expresses them differently and sometimes hides a lot of them.
This particular time that I'm referring to was the time that Cassidy started crying around Mike because she had overheard *Trigger Warning, Religion* that our dad had suggested we were demons or distractions sent from the devil in order to deter us from God *End Trigger*. This was the first and only time so far that Mike had seen her express sadness, much less cry, and it was the first time that she asked for Moo Cow and promised to not hurt/destroy him (as she has done with stuffed animals in the past). Her being stoned was helping her to feel more comfortable showing her true emotions and feelings instead of masking them with "disturbing" and "scary" behaviours and actions. It's important to realize sometimes that yes, for the most part, how a little behaves/acts might not be a mask, but it can be used to mask things at times, such as certain emotions or something. No matter how "dark", "scary", "dangerous", or "creepy" a little kid/alter may seem, their age still matters, and they are still a kid. They can still be hurt, they can still get scared, and they still need and deserve love, understanding and acceptance.


I'll definitely work on posting a list for you soon of movies and such we've agreed that Cassidy can watch. We have Netflix too, so most of our choices come from there as well.
What I can suggest right now, aside from Happy Tree Friends, are these:
-- Tremors series (splashes of gore while being a pretty decent "B horror" movie)
-- The Thing (the original one)
-- The Lord of the Rings trilogy (the battle scenes and such might be appealing to Danny. I know Cassidy enjoyed them).
-- Children of the Corn (the first one)
-- Sleepy Hollow (great movie all around if you like horror)
-- any of the older/original Freddy Krueger, Halloween, or Friday the 13th movies.
-- Zombieland

**I allow Cassidy to watch these, but be cautious. If you think they might promote or encourage unsafe behaviours or ideas, I wouldn't allow Danny to watch them. For Cassidy, she enjoys watching something she thinks about, and she enjoys putting herself "in" the movie, and watching movies such as these help to reduce the desire to act on similar behaviours/impulses. Danny may be different, so be cautious about allowing him to see movies such as these.**
-- Albert Fish (about a serial killer, how he killed, who he killed, etc. More of a documentary than a serial killer movie. Contains gore, violence, and some adult-themed scenes but if I remember correctly, they only give implications and suggestions, with no actual adult/sexual scenes).
-- Dahmer (about a serial killer, how he killed, who he killed, etc. A movie, not a documentary).
-- Chicago Massacre Richard Speck (be very cautious about this one as it is extremely gory, violent, and has adult scenes, specifically referring to *Trigger Warning* rape. *End Trigger Warning*)
-- From Hell (about Jack the Ripper. Be cautious when considering this one)
-- H.H. Holmes, America's First Serial Killer (more of a documentary than a movie, but still use caution when considering).


That's all off the top of my head for now. If I or the others think of, remember, or find any more, we will definitely post them.


~The Hawk

Thank you so much! I've seen most of those movies (including the serial killer ones) and we own a few. (Oddly enough we just watched Sleepy Hallow four days ago.) So I'll definitely consider them.

I actually think the getting stoned idea is a good one. Aside from Michael, Nadia, and Theresa most of my adult alters smoke weed and my husband has commented that it's calmed Amelia down from her rants. I haven't smoked when a little one has come out, as Michael kinda governs over them and I get the feeling since he doesn't approve of weed (he calls it "hippie stuff") he doesn't let them come out unless they're triggered. But I get the feeling from what I hear in my head and how he wrote here that he would be willing to try it. And my husband would be okay with that, because it just means he'll get a hit along with me.

So tonight we're going to try Happy Tree Friends when my husband gets home (I talked to him on his break about it) and I'm sure I'll be including weed just so Danny won't feel so freaked out about being out longer than he's used to. But I know he may not like the weed, so this will be just a tester.

Just one last question: Anything my husband should know before we do this about this type of personality and how he should act? Or should he just be himself? MY husband is the most mellow guy I know, so I'm pretty sure he'll do fine, I just want to know if you have any last minute advice?

Yeah, Cassidy would comment on feeling "slow" or "groggy", and was slightly confused as to why she felt "weird", when she was high due to Cassandra's smoking. Little Ryan was more confused of the situation overall, and didn't get freaked out over feeling high or anything. I think that for starters, as long as you remember that they might not have been high before while you're smoking, littles should be fine to be out while high. (Cassie loves being out while high. Rain only approves of it because Cassie understands and knows that only older alters are allowed to use and that like anything else, too much of it is a bad thing. That, and Rain sees and accepts that the pros outweigh the cons and "normal" rules as far as appropriateness goes).


I hope I catch you in time, but I want to save your husband from making a mistake Cassandra's boyfriend Mike made. It is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT to keep in mind that this is an alter, and that they are still a little kid! You cannot react to them as if they are an adult, no matter how clever, "devious", or "sinister" they may seem or act! Some of their behaviours may "creep" you out, some of them may irritate you, some of them may annoy you, but it's so important to keep in mind that you are not interacting with an adult, and you are not interacting with a "normal" child.

For example, Mike became very angry and frustrated with Cassidy one of the first times she was out because she had destroyed many things (some of them being Cassie's) and she was uncooperative with him, refusing to listen and responding to his questions with cold or snide replies, which only furthered his anger and frustration. If alters like this begin to upset you in any way, it is important for you to remember that YOU are the adult in this situation, and you have to take a step back, take a breather, and calm down. To the child, making you mad can seem like a game, or it could be seen as funny, or they could simply be mimicking your reactions. These things must be considered before a reaction is made, because depending on what you do, the situation will either escalate or deflate.

What I have come to learn with Cassidy is that you treat her as a normal child, and then "deal" with any "quirks" as they arise. Make sure the environment is safe (no sharp objects within reach, supervision when around sharp objects, checking in if they're in the bathroom for a long time, etc), and then just let them be themselves and try to react appropriately as you see fit. Realize that they will probably have different topics of conversation and different interests, and be prepared for that. For example, when Cassidy makes a comment such as, "I like that", or "I wish I could do that", at something that may seem "disturbing" or dark, I usually ask her why instead of telling her that it's wrong to like or reacting in a disapproving way. It's important to accept and understand littles as they are and let them know that they don't need to change, they just need to have safe guidelines and outlets and such.


I think that's all I had to say. I hope everything goes well tonight!


~The Hawk