Having such a hard time dealing... Trigger warning

Hi guys, some of the others posted about this the other day, but I need to talk about this. It may trigger you but I have to share please forgive me. I hope you don't get mad at me

I'm Holli, I am seven, I was created for xes. My "husband" is the body's abuser... He was her principal but he "married" me, don't think it was legal but he claimed me his wife. He told me all good girls are made for xes and have to have it with him all the time. I'm a ba girl if I don't have xes with him. He sold some of my other alters in here to people for money for xes. He must not be a good man but I'm a bad girl cause I don't like xes. The host's best friend is a man but said no man should buy a girl or make them have xes. He said seven year old girls are meant to play and be clean and happy. But what is happy? I don't know this "play" he speaks of... He said play means with dolls and stuffed animals, doing happy things like laughing and being ith nice people...but I can't have this fun he talks of. I don't even know what fun is.... Master made me for his xes reasons and none other...and he didn't like the fact that I hated xes but he made me think good girls like xes. He said I am his wife... Host is away from him now... But I still feel bad about not being good to him I must be a bad girl right?

-Holli

You are not a bad girl. He was a very very bad man, but that doesn't mean you are bad at all. That only means he is. I'm so sorry for what you've gone through. I, too, am married to our abuser, as is another in my system - Anya. Some others used to be, but no longer feel they are. I still feel I am. Our abuser is our father and we are not legally married. He did take us as his wife though.

I am so sorry you are going through this, but know that you are understood here. I don't usually talk about this but I wanted you to know you are not dirty or bad or any of the things he said - even his wife. You are not his wife, even if it feels like it. You might have been made for xes purposes, but you can get a new job now that is good and happy. I, too, was made for very bad things - but now I am a co-host and I have good people around me and do things I enjoy. It took a long, long time and a lot of work - but you can get there too. You too can get to a place where you're happy and have a good life.

I am happy to hear you are away from him now.

I am thinking of you.

- Lin

lifelongthing wrote:You are not a bad girl. He was a very very bad man, but that doesn't mean you are bad at all. That only means he is. I'm so sorry for what you've gone through. I, too, am married to our abusers, as is another in my system - Anya. Some others used to be, but no longer feel they are. I still feel I am. Our abuser is our father and we are not legally married. He did take us as his wife though.

I am so sorry you are going through this, but know that you are understood here. I don't usually talk about this but I wanted you to know you are not dirty or bad or any of the things he said - even his wife. You are not his wife, even if it feels like it. You might have been made for xes purposes, but you can get a new job now that is good and happy. I, too, was made for very bad things - but now I am a co-host and I have good people around me and do things I enjoy. It took a long, long time and a lot of work - but you can get there too. You too can get to a place where you're happy and have a good life.

I am happy to hear you are away from him now.



Thank you, Lin. I didn't realize others experienced this, I am so sorry that you were hurt so badly. Your father was a bad man, too safe hugs, if wanted (not sure what that is...but apparently it's good?) I am sorry If I triggered you, didn't mean to, hope I didn't. I just don't understand this stuff well I feel so scared and lonely.

-Holli
I am thinking of you.

- Lin

I'm sorry, but did you mean to write something besides the quote? It is quite alright if not, but thought I'd let you know I only see the quote in case it's just a glitch

- Lin

-- Thu Dec 27, 2012 7:06 pm --

Thank you, Lin. I didn't realize others experienced this, I am so sorry that you were hurt so badly. Your father was a bad man, too safe hugs, if wanted (not sure what that is...but apparently it's good?) I am sorry If I triggered you, didn't mean to, hope I didn't. I just don't understand this stuff well I feel so scared and lonely.

I found your reply now

You did not trigger me at all Holli. I just wanted to share it with you so you could know you're not alone

I learned to hug two years ago. Sometimes it means holding your arms around someone in a nice way that both want to, and sometimes it's just a word we use to say that we wish to do something nice. So thank you for the safe hugs. It's okay to be scared and lonely. I felt that way all the time before. Now I still do sometimes, but not always. I hope you feel better soon knowing that people here support you and care about you.

Kind thoughts,
Lin

Oh sorry, I don't know how to do things on computer well. Thank you foretelling me about safe hugs, that sounds very nice. Okay, can I give you a safe hug?you seem nice, thank you for helping me
-Holli

Yes you can, that's nice I'll give you safe hugs back to and then you can decide yourself if you want them or not

Thank you for the nice words, Holli. It's okay to not understand the computer too much. I usually help our littles write here because they don't really even know what a computer is

Good thoughts,
Lin