Please Tell Her That It Is Okay

Thank you again, everyone. You guys are wonderful! I doubt mostly because of how weird my "set up" is... It's way different from what I've read about others' systems. I get that everyone's experience is different and that this is all sort of on a spectrum, but I can't help but feeling weird about it when I know I don't lose time.
I was watching while the account was made, trying to fight Eric while he posted his first post (I almost stopped him a couple of times), and I was there while he was talking to the T. Here I am talking about this in such terms that make it sound like I have this... >_<" Whenever "someone" is "out" I always feel like I could just snatch back control. Y'know, move an arm or a leg and then go about my day but I don't because that would be "rude" or something.
Blah, I don't know. Thank you everyone for being so welcoming. I'm sure we'll figure this out eventually and it seems that you all understand what I'm going through and I appreciate that too.
- G

Many systems are co-conscious (your experience of seeing what is happening but not controlling what is happening) - that doesn't make it any less DDNOS-1 / DID To get diagnosed with DID you need to have had timeloss at some point, it doesn't need to be happening now. Many systems work towards being co-conscious with each other We are co-conscious most of the time now, but 9 months ago we were not I hope you come back if you or any of you feel it helps to be here

Congrats on the progress, lifelong.
I have a feeling that we'll stick around... Cindy sure seems to like it here lol

Silly question, sorry... So if I have any questions (other than this one) I can ask, right? That's okay?

You definitely can ask anything on here We've asked lots of questions (I tend to wonder about a lot haha ) and anyone is free to ask whatever is on their mind Or just post updates or thoughts as well

You're not silly at all And I'm glad you're staying. Nice to have you here

Hey G,
We have some that are co-con, being co-con is absolutely pertinate towards your healing. Do not think that makes you "crazy" or "weird, that actually makes your system further along that most of ours. like the other person said, DID makes you loose time at any point, not now.

My system is very co-conscious, and in order to help my alters "hide" and not be noticed, switches and things wouldn't cause lost time or black outs or anything like that to me. I would still be aware of all that was happening, I just wouldn't be the one in control. I was in "the background", so to speak. (I actually ended up telling myself I lost time and forgot when I really didn't because I hated watching things happen outside of my control). I barely lost a bit of time maybe 2-3 times in the time span of about 6 years (starting from when I became truly aware of the voices/sides, but still didn't know it was DID or anything like that).

Now that I'm in a better environment and that I've become more aware of my alters, my system, and we've been working out the kinks, I've started to lose time here and there a lot more often. This is because I'm more comfortable with letting my alters out and they're more comfortable coming out and not having to "hide" behind me or anything like that. And I still barely lose time. The time I lose is seconds, minutes, stuff that's barely noticeable. In fact, I only started becoming aware of it by noticing little things, like not remembering where I put something I just had, or not remembering that I'd picked up something I was holding, stuff like that. Things that could be dismissed as regular forgetfulness.

I also noticed that when I do lose time for more than a couple minutes, it's not like a black out or anything like that. It's kinda like a realistic dream that you can't remember after you wake up. It's like, while you're dreaming, you know what's going on, you're aware of everything in the dream, you know what you're doing and what's happening, but then after you wake up, you can remember that you dreamt, but you can't remember what exactly happened in the dream anymore. That's what losing time for me and my system is often like- during the lost time, I know what's going on and I'm aware of what's happening, but after I "come back"/the lost time is over, I don't remember exactly what happened during the period of lost time. I remember that something happened and that I did stuff, but I won't remember exactly what because I wasn't the one fully out. (Hope that makes sense).

Here's some threads that might be interesting to you. They show examples of different system set-ups and such.

I can't switch: http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic101893.html
System Structure- not DID?: http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic101109.html
Long vs Short switches: http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic103012.html
DID without amnesia?: http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic95529.html
Not losing time or blacking out, what's wrong with me?: http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic97504.html
Emotional Amnesia?: http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic95922.html


These threads are about denial:
I'm done lying *Possible Trigger Warning*: http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic98729.html
Internal Conflict: http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic96506.html

(All of these threads can be found in the DDNOS/DID Resources thread).


-Cassandra

Gosh you all are nice

Cassandra, what you said (er, wrote?) makes perfect sense actually, and I'm a little worried how much some of that clicks with me. I'll look over those threads again (in my time lurking, I've read through a good amount of the threads here ^.^") thank you. The resources thread is extremely useful and I'm so glad that it's around

-G