Christmas flashbacks...Can it be december 26th already?

humptydumpty wrote:This year, I can't block it out. A christmas eve many years ago is the first time I remember "seeing" the abuse happen to a female part who liked it.

Are you seeing a therapist? If so let them know you need to work on this memory in therapy. You should not have to be going through this!

If you are not in therapy, find a therapist.

I am getting ready to process trauma memories and my T has me working on going from a bad memory (I use one of my having to clean up animal intestines off the floor because its really stuck, you can use this Xmas one).

This process works wonderful. I can now easily go from trauma memory to a clear mind in the present by me or anyone inside saying "simple."

Remember the procedure, and be sure to do it in this order. Do NOT switch to deal with it! The whole idea is to NOT switch!!!!

"1. Awaken your simple mind (dominant hand). Pause there and become completely still. The pausing allows it to deepen.

2. Go to bad place (other hand), briefly. See it, feel it, then decide to retreat.

3. Return to simple mind (dominant hand). Stay there and continue your day.

That's PRACTICE.

USING what you are practicing will involve steps 2 & 3 only, as one simply awakens to the fact of being at step 2, without choosing, and then chooses to go to step 3.

Now the memory comes. Do this process. Practice the skill.

More...
"You being challenged by trauma memories is you growing, moving toward a more normal way of operating your brain. The nature of the trauma memory challenge is that the memories demand your attention, acting as if they have a life of their own . For several reasons (which are interesting but not immediately relevant), the memories intrude into your present consciousness. We speak of this as "being triggered", or refer to the experience as "having a flashback". Such events are addressed in the first of the three major symptom clusters looked at when one is being screened for posttraumatic stress. (If you have enough symptoms, in all 3 clusters, you qualify for the PTSD diagnosis; if you don't, you have what may properly be termed sub-clinical-PTSD.)

Those with DID historically, deal with such trauma memory challenges by dissociating into a different, protected (by amnestic boundaries) part of your personality (your sense of identity). This is often a fairly good response, except that there are some distinctly undesirable side-effects.

Obviously, there is a need to respond differently, and better. But just as obviously you don't really have an alternative, as you have not discovered one nor been shown one. Try using the simple mind technique, which is fairly obviously a form of mindfulness meditation.

Anchor your awareness using your hands, with the plain, simple state of mind to be anchored first in your dominant hand, and your awareness of distress - your trauma memory(s) attempting to intrude - in your other hand. The whole idea is to learn a conscious response to intrusive memory, and secondarily (but just as important) to learn that having a choice about what you do with this experience is possible."

Let me add that with this process, I begin the practice, but it is the other alters that get it. They take a crumb and make bread with it. They do this with everything. All I do is show them a direction to go.

Thanks humptydumpty and thanks Tylas. Your exercise is short and simple enough for me, I will at least try it.

cool! It's not mine though. It is that of my therapist.

tylas wrote:humptydumpty wrote:
This year, I can't block it out. A christmas eve many years ago is the first time I remember "seeing" the abuse happen to a female part who liked it.

Are you seeing a therapist? If so let them know you need to work on this memory in therapy. You should not have to be going through this!

I am- I have being seeing one I like a lot since March 2012. I like her a lot.

tylas wrote:...USING what you are practicing will involve steps 2 & 3 only, as one simply awakens to the fact of being at step 2, without choosing, and then chooses to go to step 3.

Wow that's brilliant. I've never done anything like that. Trying it just now definitely triggered, but I'm going to talk with my doc about it this week.

tylas wrote:Anchor your awareness using your hands, with the plain, simple state of mind to be anchored first in your dominant hand, and your awareness of distress - your trauma memory(s) attempting to intrude - in your other hand. The whole idea is to learn a conscious response to intrusive memory, and secondarily (but just as important) to learn that having a choice about what you do with this experience is possible."

That really speaks to me. I need that badly these days. Thank you very much, Tylas, for posting this!

I am glad it helps.

One important thing is that it seems to be the inside alters that are doing most of this. I too cooperate, but I am not doing this on my own. It seems to be a group effort.