~For the Teens/Adolescents~

Yeah, I hear ya. Sometimes we can hear each other, like sometimes I can hear what Kat's thinking, and I can almost always feel and hear what Luna's feeling and thinking. But we don't go blabbing (unless it's wise to) because it feels like, invading their privacy or something, you know? Sometimes you just gotta let sh*t happen as it happens.

Ah, being tired. I hear ya there. I've stopped saying I feel tired and just say when I feel awake (which is like, once in a blue moon). Then people can just assume I'm always f*#king tired 'cause I usually am.

Been a wild day (far as I've heard) for us inside, too. Shay's making a ruckus right now about wanting to eat (yeah, yeah! I hear ya! We'll get to it after I'm done with this post!), and wanting to do art (she hasn't gotten to do that yet). Which, I'm cool with the art, but I just wanted to hop on here first. Not so cool with the eating, but I will be (smokin' it up right now). Luna and I eat just about as much as we sleep. Mostly we just don't get hungry, and then for Luna, she thinks she's fat and she finds almost all food gross (not in the sense of being picky, in the sense of food that she knows she likes and has eaten before will seem gross to her and make her feel sick if she thinks about/attempts to eat it unless she's high). And then me, I'm just like, never hungry, but I used to not eat 'cause I was fat (we were fat, too. Back in 8th grade, we were chubby, chubby chipmunks, and we were poor. So we only got like, one meal a day anyway for the most part, but then our dad would bribe us with junk food (*possible trigger warning* basically, he'd give us a night of movies and junk food as like a payment to us for him going to the bar for a night and getting drunk and then coming home and treating us like sh*t *end possible trigger warning*). ANYWAY (just forgot what I was talking about 'cause Mike walked in the room)...

Cool. I usually use/give people nicknames. Jus' something I do, I guess.

Ahahahaha. "M.C." L.C. That's great, and I'll tell you why. M.C. Chris is like, f*#king hilarious and awesome, Luna and I listen to him. If you haven't heard of him, he's like a, "nerd rapper", he did a song called "Fette's Vette" that you mighta heard 'bout (if not, look it up- sh*t's tight!), and he has some pretty f*#king awesome songs, some hilarious songs, and just great sh*t to listen to. (Especially when high!)

My real name's Lost Child, so, unless you can work out some sorta nickname with that sh*t, I think you're just gonna have to do what you can with "L.C.".


~L.C.

Yeah man, you just gatta let $#%^ go the course, man.
I guess I can understand the food thing. Gabrielle's terrified of being fat. (she was a fat kid) but good thing for us everyone else so far likes food. Though, when we write out what we eat/how much we eat, we look anorexic but we're not, man. We just don't do enough to warrant eating a lot.
People are ###$ up, man. Can't dig that. Our family isn't poor, really. We're fine and always have been, but $#%^'s still been ###$. The mom keeps harshing my natural mellow along with everyone else's and it bums us out.

Gabrielle loves that song but I haven't heard it. I'll have to give it a look n' listen.

Hm. I'll think of something. for now M.C. L.C. Will have to do.

- "Kev"

Yeah, that's kinda how I am. I don't do much, so I'm not hungry, so I don't eat, and when I do eat, it's usually not that much. I mean, I'm a f*#king lazy @$$ artist stoner teenager. I don't do jack sh*t.
I do have enough of a problem with it to where the others call me anorexic, but Luna's the true anorexic one. Dallas is havin' a fit now that the body's down to 120 lbs (we haven't been below 125 lbs since like, 6th or 7th grade, and it's been almost 4 years since we graduated high school). But if Luna was the host, Dallas would really be havin' a fit, 'cause the body would probably weigh even less and eat even less with Luna up front all the time. (Then again, inside she is like, only 5 ft tall- my bad, 4 ft 9 in tall, and the body's like, 5 ft 7 in, so I mean, guess her eating habits wouldn't be as bad if she had the short body she sometimes thinks she does. Still be unhealthy but not as unhealthy).

Eh, sh*t can be f*#ked up anywhere, poor, rich, or in the middle. Just usually tends to be a bit more "easily" f*#ked up when you're poor 'cause you can't even buy yourself food. Or clothes if you need 'em. And sh*t like that adds to sh*t you're already dealin' with. Sucks about the mom, though. The only thing I can relate to on that front is our dad harshin' our mellow and f*#kin' with us and sh*t. (*Possible Trigger* Our mom died when we were young, and she was a f*#king awesome mother. *End Possible Trigger*).

Yeah, that song's pretty awesome, I'd definitely look it up if I were you.

Haha, that's cool, I don't mind M.C. L.C. Makes me feel like some sort of initials boss or somethin'.

Hafta go prepare for D&D today now. (Which reminds me, gotta wake everyone else's lazy @$$ up so they can help me do this sh*t. And so I'm not the only one suffering in awake-ness haha). Catch ya later, Kev.


~L.C.

Have fun with DnD, man. I still gatta set something up with the other peeps here. Oh boy.
I shouldn't be put in charge of things.

Holy $#%^, man. This song is boss, man. I should probably watch Star Wars now. I know enough to get the song though.

Yeah, the body's 125lbs, but even that's overweight for it since it's like... Almost 5ft.2in. [color=#FFBF00]We carry it well though. We still look tiny even if Gabrielle can't see it. Gettin' kinda chunky now except not really. We'll have more freedom to do things soon though when we head out to college (thank god.)
If Gabs had her way, we'd eat like... one meal and graze on a bunch of little things. I think that's pretty lame though and so do other people here so we get to actually eat.

Yeah, being poor's gatta suck... (no offense) We were kinda poor when we were real young, but thing's are good now. Sorry about your mom though... Looks like we've got it opposite, huh? The dad here is awesome. He's a cool dude. Mom's a bitch though.

-"Kev"[/color]

Haha, we can all work on getting that sh*t together, if it's possible.

I know, right?! Told you that song was the sh*t!

Eh, 5 ft 2 in and 125 lbs. doesn't sound bad at all. I can see it being carried well very easily. I mean, sh*t, we were like 5 ft 1 in and nearing 150 lbs at one point. 125 lbs. ain't nothing to get your panties in a bunch over.

Cool to hear y'all actually eat. (Y'all? Oh, Dally-o, come out, come out, wherever you are!)
I didn't do it.
Dude, you luck #######1! You been smokin' inside!
Say whhaaaaaaatt? Naaah. Not me.
Whatever, dude.

Anyway, yeah, bein' poor rather sucks @$$, but then, we're not really used to anything different (well, when our mom was around we were actually more in middle class and were just fine, but we don't know about being like, well off or anything like that). Yeah, definitely looks like we got the opposite goin' on. Our dad's not a cool cat, but our mom was a f*#kin' angel.


~("M.C.") L.C.

Lately we've been busy looking for other alters, since Florette seemed to be quite sure that there are others. The results were less fun than most of us hoped. One or two extra could be okay, but we found nine others! nine! with them, the counter is at 37, which is way more than I like.

when we got above 20 I already started wondering what the body had been through. I am a hundred percent sure that what happened at school, with the discrimination, has created another alter, since it has been one of the most traumatic things ever. Contact with humans has never been the same anymore, and we can't even tell our best friends about the DID anymore. For as far as I know, this is definitly the trauma that hits the most of us at the same time.

Could it be that those new ones had "split off" from the earlier alters who had to deal with the trauma the most?

*Possible Trigger Warning, talk of DID development*

Well, we don't believe in "splitting". We believe in the "theory" of DID development that states that you basically start out "split" (we use the word theory loosely because most of what has been learned as to do with what science knows about neurons and personality development in general, and has then made theories on how it seems to apply and very well could apply to DID. But it is still technically a theory, as it has not been proven as fact yet, though I'm not sure how they would prove it).

DID is caused by trauma and the disruption/interruption of the personality developmental processes.

See, we all start out with neurons that form our personality. In normal development, these neurons will become structured, they'll "meld" together in a way, some will be kept, some gotten rid of, until they form a structured, whole personality.
In DID development, the structuring process is disrupted, and so the neurons stay separated. These separated neurons form "sides" of the personality, which later create/develop into alters, fragments, etc. Thus, "splitting" doesn't happen because you basically start out "split". There was no whole personality developed because the developmental processes were disrupted.

So in essence, the "blueprints" for every alter, every fragment you have has always been there, and then some of those get further developed and become full-fledged alters or some get partially developed and are "fragments" (wish there was a better word than "fragment"). Meaning, the "building blocks" for your alters were always there, and then as soon as they were needed/created/began to become more developed, that's basically like the step from neuron to fragment or alter. (Hope this is making sense).
In short, all alters and fragments that you have now where always there (or at least some part of them/the neurons they were developed from were always there), and so there are no real "new" alters/fragments past the development period (so, childhood, since that's the time period where DID develops and the personality developmental processes take place). (We think it could go from early childhood-early adolescence, though, depending on environment and person and such).


What we're trying to say is that we don't think these alters "split" anytime recently or anything like that, but rather, they were further developed or resurfaced due to the new, reoccurring, or similar to past trauma traumas. Most "new" alters are actually only new to awareness and knowledge, they're not actually "new" to existence. Although some alters can seem "new" to existence because they weren't as developed earlier on, or they were created for a need that's no longer needed so they've become redeveloped/redefined/further developed than they were before. Or, they could've been more like "fragments" that became further developed into "full" alters.

*End Possible Trigger Warning*

We're sorry you've been having a tough time lately. We hope things get better for you soon.

~A mixture of us(?)

Yeah.... It's only five pounds but I'm flaaaabby. It's okay though, I'll be able to work on it soon.

###$ yeah. I'll have to see if he's got other cool $#%^ to listen to.
Yeah... Food's nice most of the time. Janus thinks she might be willing to try food Gabs has always turned her nose up at. We'll see what happens.
Hey Dal (can I call you Dal?) What's up, man?

Yeah... Like you said, M.C. L. C., $#%^'s ###$ everywhere. I've yet to meet a pleasant mom. Ah well, at least you were lucky enough to have an awesome one.

Tomboy's got some good advice there. Hope you can figure stuff out, ManyHearts.

- "Kev"

Thanks Tomboy

You know, I really feel wierd, I start feeling like a freak For as far as I know most I've seen around here have less than 30 alters, but we're with 37 already

~ Demi

Don't sweat it, man. It all varies. There are some people here with hundreds and thousands of alters/fragments. Everyone's different.

-"Kev"