response from T

I went to my T today and handed him my DES (dissociative experiences survey) and said I wanted to talk about just how much I dissociate. He told me all of my dissociation is normal for the amount of trauma I experienced and he has no sense that I have any identity differences.

The down side was that he's not familiar with the DES. He recently hospitalized a patient for dissociative fugue where she completely forgets who she is when she's triggered and is extremely destructive.

It was not what I expected. I thought he was going to say there is a spectrum of dissociative disorders and I'm somewhere in the DD-nos area. But no, partly he said not to get stuck on diagnosis but also that yes, I dissociate frequently but I have a lot on my mind re current issues, see images of abuse throughout the day and anyone would dissociate in that circumstance.

Thanks to all of you for reading my posts and answering my earlier questions. I am happy to have met all of you. I did cry throughout reading the thread for the Littles because all that play and fun sound so foreign to my childhood self. It's like I wanted to play, but didn't know how.

Anyway, I'll get out of your board. Thanks for having me.

First let me say this.....If your comfortable here then there is no reason to leave the board.

ALot of T's really dont understand what they are dealing with so they are hesitant to even suggest that to you or to even attempt to treat something they have no experience with. It sounds like there may be a disconnect between you and this T so I would suggest as with any medical treatment get a second opinion find someone that will take your comments and concerns as serious as you do. Thats not to say shop around till you find a T that just agrees with you but to find one that you can be comfortable enough and trust their opinions of whats going on with you.

In the end no matter what any Doctor can tell us we know ourselves the best.

Tara (BT)

I don't think you should leave here. We all like and accept you here, even if you don't really have DID or DDNOS (though I don't think you should trust this T entirely). That, and if you feel good about being here, then feel more than welcome to stay.

I would look into getting a second opinion if I were you. This T might not be seeing the whole picture, he might not have the experience needed for you, he might be coming to a certain conclusion too quickly. I definitely see no reason why the DDNOS/DID possibility should be "cut out" just because you supposedly shouldn't worry about the diagnosis. Yeah, you shouldn't worry about specific diagnoses to a point, but when they help give you an idea of what's going on and what type of therapy you should have, that's a different story.

The reaction that you had to the littles' thread suggests that you shouldn't take this T's word too seriously just yet. Definitely look into getting a second opinion if possible, at the very least, don't let your T close the door on the DDNOS/DID possibility just because he says to. Stick to what you feel, know, and believe. Stick to what resonates with YOU, not with your T. And please, don't leave (unless you truly want to).

I did cry throughout reading the thread for the Littles because all that play and fun sound so foreign to my childhood self. It's like I wanted to play, but didn't know how.

That's why we do our work with our system, actually -- because our childhood was a living hell we want the childhood they are still living to be good. That is our motivation.

Feel free to stay here. DID, DD-NOS, neither etc - as long as you like to read and have something you want to talk about or ask, I think this is a good place to be. People here are supportive no matter what is our experience at least.

I'm moving soon. Found out the location has many trauma therapists and a trauma hospital -- so I do plan to follow up on this.

Thank you for giving me a safe place.

I hope moving isn't too stressful. It's great to hear about your options, though! I hope they work out well for you. And you are always welcome here, it will always be a safe place for you.

Best of luck with the moving and therapy!