I forgot how difficult it is

Hello! This is my first post here and it's kind of an explanation on why I joined. I was diagnosed with DID fairly young--- I always struggled with general DPDR but started showing some extreme behavior in my teens (like, there were people in my life who knew exactly which alter was which before any of us had any idea of what DID was).

I'm so grateful I caught it when I did, because my first few years of therapy were amazing. My therapist did everything she could to educate herself and was very much willing to have sessions one on one with alters, but also emphasized the importance of us as a collective coming together to build a life. I went from an agoraphobic, abused shut-in to a mostly functioning adult with coping skills because of this therapist. Throughout this time I was active in other online dissociative spaces, but quit when it came into the spotlight and singlets starting being especially awful about DID.

Now it's been a few years since I stopped seeing that one therapist and almost a year since I've been in any therapy at all (my last was not prepared to deal with DID whatsoever and I felt fine enough to quit anyway). Sometimes I can forget I have it, which makes me feel healthy for a while, but then I'll end up even more dissociated and unintegrated by default. It's also so lonely--- I have friends and family who know about my diagnosis, but I don't usually feel comfortable expressing myself and they literally cannot understand. So, I decided to join a mental health forum to try dealing with this a little more actively. Even years later, it feels like it's always going to be a cycle of struggle, uncovering or forming new alters, reminding them that we have DID, processing, then forgetting we have it in the first place lol.

Welcome! The DID forum is more active than this one, if you want to post there.

--the Gang