I believe I have lost a part of my personality

I had a traumatic childhood. My father was an alcoholic who was either missing (at the bar) or when he was home he was abusive. My mother was unfeeling, and acted as if my sisters and I were her slaves. I was either neglected or forced to do her work for her. When I was 11 my father had a breakdown and tried to commit suicide *mod edit- graphic detail*

After he was taken to the hospital, mother made us take off our shoes and clean up *mod edit- graphic detail*

I feel somewhere around this time my personality split and I had one half of me that assumed the keeper of the bad memories, and litle by little that personality became dominant. Now I cannot dredge up any good memories and if I try, everything good or happy is overshadowed by a bad memory. I've tried talking to other people about this and they can't understand.

I'm just filled with anger and sadness and remorse, and I frequently just start cussing. I look into the mirror sometimes and cuss at myself - How can I remedy this?

thanks