Help with an anger 'part'?

I have a big problem; aparently, I've been having some very angry outbursts, yelling and screaming, at friends/roomates lately- especially my roomates, one of which is my best friend- yet do not remember them at all. It's really scaring me, since I'm hearing about them from people/them after the fact, or even end up with them in the middle of an argument with yelling but having no recollection that I was just yelling too. Sometimes I'll remember, but very hazily and not thinking it was as bad as it was. This will often happen when I get upset and cry, as well.

I'm starting to think I may have developed a separate thing to deal with anger or something. Typically, if I'm not in control of myself, I'll still be there watching myself, but it seems this is not the case with this... I'm starting to wonder if maybe this happens with other things, too (I know I definitely lose time with shopping, for one, but I never really thought of it as anything until now).

Does anyone know of any way this can be fixed? My one roomate/best friend thinks I'm lying when I say I don't remember these things, and tonight he even said if it continues, he doesn't want to be roomates again next year. So it really really really needs to be changed, I don't want to lose my best friend! ;__;

Is there anything I can do to help stop this from happening??

Hi Bipolar_Cat. I'm quite new at all this, and have not been officially diagnosed, although my counselor suspects something's up and she is making some contacts for further treatment.

Anyway, don't mean to sidetrack, just wanted you to know I'm very naive on how to help...you or anyone, including myself! However, just wanted to share with you...I have a similar behavior that has started emerging. Just like you, I've had a few outbursts of anger, (with my son, and with my gentleman friend) which I had no knowledge of. It was pointed out to me a few days afterwards, and I remembered nothing. Also, gentleman friend witnessed me having a hissy fit, in the bedroom by myself, cursing etc. Again, when told about it, no memory.

What I did make a connection with though, is that prior to the angry outbursts, I had been having a rather animated disagreements/debates with son or gentleman friend. I DO remember the conversations, wasn't over anything especially bad, but I just remember I sorta lost the argument and feeling frustrated that they didn't understand my point of view. And then I blanked.

So, my question to you to think about...do you remember what was going on before your "outbursts" ? Was it something argumentative? I'm thinking for me now that I've possibly made a link, I guess it's my "trigger" that maybe while my mind is still conscious I need to somehow walk away, before I get upset.

beago wrote:So, my question to you to think about...do you remember what was going on before your "outbursts" ? Was it something argumentative? I'm thinking for me now that I've possibly made a link, I guess it's my "trigger" that maybe while my mind is still conscious I need to somehow walk away, before I get upset.

Well, it is anger, so it makes sense it would come with a trigger I suppose... Well, I know yesterday it was because my friend was accusing me of a bunch of stuff, of which I thought he was exaggerating/ making a bigger deal of than necessary. Sometimes it's over little things though, so I dunno, maybe its just many little things built up and I didn't realize, and those little things were just triggering points? But I'm usually a very calm person and try not to make people upset. Maybe the outbursts are a part of my subconscious trying to stick up for itself/myself more? That seems like a possibility.

If it is due to an argument brewing, I'll try your idea and make more of an effort to walk away before it gets bad, hopefully that will help avoid it. And maybe instead of letting little things build up, if that's another thing, I could try to address them rather than holding them in. If it is a subconscious part trying to make me stick up for myself more, like I suspect, if I make an effort to do so in a normal way maybe it will be happy with that and stop.

Let's hope these are the triggers and this helps, I definitely don't want it to keep happening!

Thank you for the input!