Dissociation or psychosis?

I have a symptom that as of my current doctor is being refered to as psychosis however I've had other doctors refer to it as dissociation. It doesn't seem to fit either very well but I'm begining to question the idea that it's psychosis.

Starting in about 7th grade I began to daydream a lot but the characters in the daydreams went quickly from being people I controllled to being for the most part actual people that simply didn't exist outside of my mind. I began to have conversations with them, I never heard them outside of my own mind but I also didn't have any control over what they said since they were seperate from me. Over time I've gotten to know them better, they all have unique names, personalities and lives. They can't control me we're all seperate but I have had times where they've said things that disturbed me. I've had them tell me to kill myself and even threaten to kill me. Once one of them told me to kill my dog. I don't have to do what they say but it can be scary to have them yelling at me. Things like that are rare though, most of the time we share a good relationship almost like a small family. There are a lot of them but only three of them talk to me much, Jacob, James and Cobra.

I don't know whether that's more psychotic or dissasociative? Psychosis makes more sense with my bipolar diagnosis and considering the fact that I was never abused but I still kind of question it. From what I understand most psychotic symptoms are experienced externally so these couldn't really be auditory hallucinations.

Hi,

I have no experience with psychosis but with dissociation, so can only say what you describe could very well be dissociation. Sometimes alters in a DID system are not aware of each other, so they might not realise that if one kills themselves (i.e. the body) that affects them as well.

Maybe you want to pop over to the DID forum? Most people post there and it does not matter if you have an official dx or if you have DDNOS instead.

Best, Ruby

I actually did a bit more research and it seems my psychiatrist might be right and that they're just very complex auditory hallucinations. We're all aware of each other which is part of why I didn't think it was DID. The few times I've been threatened by them or told to kill myself was when I had done something to make them angry. We're just finding it kind of frustrating because they all want to have a voice in conversations that I have and in my life in general and I want to provide them with a place in the world but that's so difficult to do, It's kind of hard to get people to warm up to the idea that when they talk to me they're talking to three other people. Nobody really responds well when I try to explain this symptom, not even doctors and therapists. It's so unusual for hallucinations I almost think it would be easier to explain them to people if they were some form of dissasociation. Anyways sorry for posting in DDNOS board, I didn't realize that they really were pshycosis.

It sounds like the different professionals you are consulting are using one word, psychosis, but several different meanings. Some professionals use the word in a very broad sense, to include any kind of anomalous perception. Others use the word in a very narrow sense, to mean loss of contact with reality.

Have any of these professionals evaluated you using any of the formal assessment tools for diagnosis of dissociative disorders? The SCID-D, the DDIS, the MID, or even the DES?

Hi, I am being treated for psychotic episodes as my psych calls them for the last two years. I take quietapine but a very low dosis, and it helps me sleep. But lately some things are happening that we are beginning to think that it might be DID. i thought until now, that i could put myself easily in the shoes of other people and that is why i could relate from different angles to the same problem. I have always dealt with a table and three people around it making the decisions for my everyday life. Often discussions over what and how to do things between two extremes and one trying to sooth differences.

i just thought i had a weird way of compensating my limitations....but lately is like i am seeing it from a different angle.Is it two completely different persons fighting the same ground?
I stopt reading because sometimes i saw letters but i could not read, like if they had no meaning...now i am beginning to think that maybe there is a person that could be so small that she can not read?

the other day i am cutting my hair at 11 oclock at night, and while cutting so comitted, i felt something that was an interference, my head said, its your finger...but i still went ahead and cut...a piece of skin...

i realize that i sabotage myself....i realize that a side of me hates the other one...and some times i am standing at one side and somes at the opposite side.

is this DID? i have been the weird kind since very small...now i have my own children...i wonder if the can inherit some of this problems???

loise wrote:now i have my own children...i wonder if the can inherit some of this problems???

Possibly. Quite a few of us have one or even two parents who we suspect or know have DID themselves. And there are some published family history studies that suggest a parent with DID can damage the child. Those of us who have children do worry about this.

Hi, I am trying to see where to start. On one side i need to be able to function in my social life and the meeting with my psych shook my balance quite a bit.
on the other hand i am become aware of things,....like sometimes there is this male voice coming out of me...when i am put under pressure and it sound scary because i am kind of losing control.
i have noticed that i am like protecting my psych holding something when he is like provoking with his conclusions.

one side of me wants to speak and to dig things out, but there is not only resistance, there is a side that says that everything is a lie...and then digging to much becomes a nightmare.

i had a dream two days ago, i am going through this house, a new house, and at one moment I am with this other woman, we are similar but not the same, and we talk, after walking for a while i find myself with her trapped in this small room, and moving stuffed animals and furniture does not allow us to go out so terriffied i told her...i am afraid and i think i am dreaming but can not get out, ( i was really afraid she would turn into a monster) and she answered me, sure of herself: do not worry, i am also afraid and i am also dreaming..and she hugged me.
she hugged me and i felt at home, i felt safe. After i went out of my dream. during the day i was thinking about that hug and i recognized myself, it was me who hug ....the afraid me.

i wonder if this is a reflection of what goes on in me. i am so terriffied of finding a monster that i do not dare to open doors, maybe i find somebody like me within....but the truth is that i know that somebody very violent lives inside and she could hurt me...this will not be an easy ride and i can not or want to let things be seen because i live in a foreign country alone with my children. i can not afford to lose control.

loise wrote:i know that somebody very violent lives inside and she could hurt me

That is your fear, but how true is it? Has that part of you ever actually been violent?

I had a similar fear, for decades! And then finally I met that part of myself and realized I had made a big mistake. That part of me is capable of violence, capable of using violence to defend us all against life threats, but in fact is not violent.

hi, i do not know...there is a mental violence against myself...when i do not meet expectations, mine.

i had this thought when i came out of my psychs office, if i had spoken, she would through me against the wall and down the stairs. she is violent mentally...one of them..and hurts all. it is like an acid that runs through everything and everybody inside me when it happens...it hurts me.

but there is also another things....a man i think that came out last time, and i am always hiding inside. i try not to provoke him so he will not come out.

i am almost sure, that my violence is against me, not against my children. sometimes i have the certainty that if it explodes it will be within, i will stop her before she goes out, something like that.

you know what is the worst part? my work is listening to people with problems, is being there for those who need...being in front of my church.

when i have had my low periods i take a low profile and visit people more than the open activities.

i do not know how safe is to start this with myself...about putting a map. i have never thought this were others than myself...of course one in a while i am surprised of what i hear....or have heard them talking about me...

thanks for writing, i have to go

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