New to this site anyone want to keep their ddnos?

Hello everyone, im in pretty good spirits today finally have been diagnosed with this disorder after suffering from it from when i was 7. I was sexually abused which triggered it. I then was abused between the ages of 8-13 by my dad and stepmother so my dissociative disorder was being continually fueled. I remember telling my teacher when i was 10 that 'everything felt unreal and that i wasnt really there and didnt feel real' she probably put it down to imagination. I then went to many psychologists and they put it down to being depressed...from aged 7 ...really? but i knew it wasnt depression. I then googled in the symptoms and i honestly felt relief i realised i wasnt some weird alien or evil thing on earth. I kind of just got on with things but then fell into anorexia. But now iv recovered i am facing my ddnos and finally went to a doctor and i was forwarded to a psychiatrist and finally diagnosed with it. Its weird because im not depressed anymore and dont actually want my ddnos to go as its me now and weirdly helps me out still when im facing narsty individuals and high amounts of stress. I can even trigger the symptoms sometimes on my own. I can honestly say i dont want it gone. Does anyone else feel this way?

I don't have ddnos but I have dissociative symptoms. I understand what you mean, I wouldn't like my dissociative-thing gone either! I have alters who has helped through a lot and they're helping me even to this day. I think it's natural not wanting your DID/ddnos to go, since it's such a big part of your life. I don't know if it's that common for DID/ddnos to "just go away" like that?

I've recently got to a stage where I feel sorry for people who don't have DID! I know it can be frustrating and confusing, can get in the way of life when you need to get things done. But I have such a laugh at times with my crew. The little ones make us laugh by the simple things they say, we feel we appreciate the small things in life again like wearing our wellie boots out on the rain or wearing pink socks....why would you want to get rid of those pleasures?

Even frustrating things such as the protectors/anxious parts who say we can't do this or that, someones too close behind us, I wouldn't get rid of because I feel safer knowing they are around and wouldn't let any harm come to us (from outside our system). When I went to meet a potential new therapist the other day all we could hear inside us was 'we have to get out of here' - I 'woke up' at the end when they said it was time to go, realising that someone else had switched in so that we didn't have to deal with the pain of being there....it's a relief to know we can still do it!

This is tough for me...I'm not so sure.
I sometimes feel so broken! So useless...so without hope of ever becoming more fully functional in society.
As I get older I'm starting to feel like I should be growing out of this by now...that I should be stronger, that I'm weak because of all my mental problems. Like I just need to "grow up!".

On the other hand, over the years (especially over the last couple) I've started to really love parts of me. To really start accepting myself. I fought for so many years with self hatred...I'm coming out of that part of my life, and I'm starting to realize that I really actually like "me".
Plus over the last few years I've met some amazing parts of me! A 7 or 8 year old little boy came out when I had cancer 3 years ago and so bravely took care of EVERYTHING for me during that time!...there's this other part of me that's like superman! lol...he (I) can achieve anything, and no obstacle can stop me! He's helped me get into college and has helped me maintain a decent gpa (3.70+)...and I'm sure as he grows, he'll help me land a great job eventually as well.
I love these parts of me! If not having DDNOS meant I would lose these parts of me...then I'm not so sure.

I will say I like having the diagnosis itself though...the "label" if you will. I've for many, many years been trying to find a diagnosis that fits me.
I've had so many over the years...and nothing ever fully felt right to me.
Then a few years ago I met a person with D.I.D. and I became aware of dissociative disorders. Nothing has fit me as well as D.D. N.O.S. does. I think I've FINALLY found the proper diagnosis. It's only taken 20 years! (been in and out of institutions and counseling/therapy since I was 10 years old).
Nothing explains my experiences like a dissociative disorder does...and that's why I like the label. It gives me answers that I haven't had. It makes me feel more validated...less broken.

My doctor recommended an herbal supplement thing that can supossedly help reduce the depersonalization a little bit- and it seemed to work a little the few times I took it. I'm scared to take it regularly, because I can't imagine life without it (though it would only reduce it, not eliminate it). I never imagined I'd actually want to not get rid of it- but now faced with being able to do something about it, I'm questioning if I really want it to go away. =[

my parts all like being alive. They don't want to lose their individual identities. they are scared of "dying" and don't like me making efforts to integrate if that means they won't exist anymore.
My parts definitely feel like separate people to me, to whom I relate. We love each other and enjoy being together.