I know I am dissociated from real life, aka the consequences of failing school, etc. Sometimes I feel like I'm floating around in a dream world, unable to really be hurt. Which, really thinking about it, does not make a whole lot of sense because of course I'm able to be hurt, but whatever.
I'm not sure if I have alters in the true sense that other people on here describe. I have had three, recently four, parts to me but we know we are all the same person.
There is A, the most prominent girl who is always around, who is weak and sad; L, the strong girl who takes care of A and is very loving and capable but is not always around, even when A really needs her company and comfort; the B****, who is hateful towards A and L, and is very cruel and nasty and spiteful towards A, blaming her for everything, who can be around all the time for a while and then disappear for weeks, or make regular hourly visits each day for months, who knows why she decides to get out of bed; and recently we were joined by Hailey Jane [I don't know why that is her name. The others have longer names too but I go by those in real life (one at home, one at school, though really the person everyone knows is A) and don't want someone I know to find this because only my therapist/DBT lady/psychiatrist knows about my parts] who is the one who controls whether I can be dissociated or connected with the real world and all it's consequences. I discovered her with the help of my DBT lady.
So, where we live. There's this house, but we are usually in a pretty nondescript room. L has a room that I haven't really seen, and I've seen the B's bed with it's blue blankets (A was wondering where the B was and we found her asleep. . . then she noticed us and gave us the bird, cursed, and went back to sleep) but not her actual room. A has some place in my head but really her world is the real, tangible one, though she does have the nondescript room where I can see/feel her curled into a ball, being held by L if its a bad day; L wraps both of them in blankets and comforts A.
Hailey Jane has more of an office area, and she can also go to Starbucks when everyone else is home - when she goes out, say to Starbucks (A can see her ordering a drink at the counter even though A is home) she turns off the general dissociation and A and L can connect to the real world.
They all have conversations with each other really easily and naturally. Its nice to know I'm not alone, though I'm not sure if my parts are like the alters described by other users, I think so but I'm not sure because we know we are all the parts of the same person, but at the same time we feel so individual. . . but we have conversations very naturally, so if I start to overthink it I get really confused.
Hopefully that wasn't so long and rambling that it made no sense.
Experience with self injury, depression, blah blah blah. Just here to try to help, and possibly be helped at some point. Thanks.