Depression, Anti-Depressants or something else!?

Hi all,

Just looking for some advice about the nightmare I am experiencing at the moment. I've recently come off of Mirtazapine (due to weight gain and the slowness it gave me) and been put on Venlaxafine/Effexor. Been on it for around two months now, but on an increased dose for around two/three weeks. Anyway, I have been getting horrific mood swings (worsened by increased dose) which I generally always get when starting anti-depressants but they're just awful. I can feel completely depressed, with suicidal thoughts/planning as well as self-harm one day or even just in the morning, to laughing, being over-talkative, thinking I'm absolutely hilarious and singing Christmas songs the next! It is utterly draining. Ever since the start of my depression I have experienced mood swings as well as over-spending, binge eating, getting extremely fixated on certain things, spending hours in the gym etc. I also have days where I feel extremely agitated and wired with racing thoughts - being unable to concentrate and flitting from doing one thing to the next. This is accompanied by feeling extremely irritable and angry, with violent thoughts (mainly directed at myself) but also feeling extremely suicidal and that I can't cope with anything anymore. My mind set just completely shifts - I can feel confident, attractive and happy with myself to having zero self-esteem, wondering why anyone likes me and hating myself. The shift in wanting to live and wanting to die within hours is something I particularly struggle with.

The mood swings and complete shifts in my thinking are so draining and confusing - I feel like two completely different people!

Has anyone experienced anything like this whilst settling in to new anti-depressants or is there something else going on beneath the surface? I'm aware that many of these things are due to the depression but I just need some reassurance!

Wiredness isn't depression. I have rapid mood swings and wiredness too. I don't know what it is, fast-cycling mood swings that are that strong don't really fit criteria for most things. Even rapid-cycling bipolar disorder doesn't make sense. Anti-depressants have not helped me at all. Caffeine is the drug that has helped me the most with anything and everything, although it too has withdrawal.