Need Help if possible

Name is not important. I just didn't know what else to try. I'm male, 24, and severely depressed. A couple of years ago I finally recovered from 8 years of chronic migraines and thought at that point that my life was gonna make a turn for the better, but within a year of that, my Mom was diagnosed with cancer and any progress I was making was put on hold to help her out. 6 months later, we found out it was terminal and 6 months after that she passed away. its been just under a year since then.

While she was sick i forced myself to stay somewhat social, and i met this girl. We hung out a couple times, even kissed, but she was just visiting and we both knew not much could come of it. we stayed in contact over the phone for a while, but lost it when things started to go bad with the cancer. I thought about her (and still do) all the time, but after my mom died I lost contact with everybody i know. I fell into the darkest place i had ever been. My Mom was the only person i could talk to about a lot of things, and with her gone so suddenly i was left hopeless and alone. I tried to get back in contact with people, but every time i would either lose my nerve or just not be able to get myself to do it.

Recently i decided to try to reach the girl, and maybe, hopefully, try to get something started between us. but right when i finally got the nerve up, she was suddenly in a relationship, and what little confidence and stability i had was shattered. Now I'm stuck with nobody to talk to, and no motivation, and everything i do try to do just makes me sadder. I've considered suicide, but I know that its not a viable option, but it still feels like the only way out.

Also, i have a liver problem that doesn't let me take any of the anti-depressants, so that's not something i can try either.

Firat of all, I think you absolutely on the right track with trying to reach out to this girl, and hopefully some old friends, or other family. Social contact is one of the most immediate and important factors when it comes to depression, having someone to talk to or just to lean on, is always a good thing. Second of all, is you're not in therapy you should try to find a therapist who you can meet with regularly. Also, I'm not exactly sure what your liver problem is, but there more natural alternatives such as 5 HTP or St. John's Wort. If these are not viable, or additionally, I would recommend meditation, which can really help turn around negative thought patterns, and exercise which helps naturally release endorphins. I know getting up the motivation can be hard, but it seems like you have enough gusto to reach out here, and you are ready to try and help yourself. Please do.