Name is not important. I just didn't know what else to try. I'm male, 24, and severely depressed. A couple of years ago I finally recovered from 8 years of chronic migraines and thought at that point that my life was gonna make a turn for the better, but within a year of that, my Mom was diagnosed with cancer and any progress I was making was put on hold to help her out. 6 months later, we found out it was terminal and 6 months after that she passed away. its been just under a year since then.
While she was sick i forced myself to stay somewhat social, and i met this girl. We hung out a couple times, even kissed, but she was just visiting and we both knew not much could come of it. we stayed in contact over the phone for a while, but lost it when things started to go bad with the cancer. I thought about her (and still do) all the time, but after my mom died I lost contact with everybody i know. I fell into the darkest place i had ever been. My Mom was the only person i could talk to about a lot of things, and with her gone so suddenly i was left hopeless and alone. I tried to get back in contact with people, but every time i would either lose my nerve or just not be able to get myself to do it.
Recently i decided to try to reach the girl, and maybe, hopefully, try to get something started between us. but right when i finally got the nerve up, she was suddenly in a relationship, and what little confidence and stability i had was shattered. Now I'm stuck with nobody to talk to, and no motivation, and everything i do try to do just makes me sadder. I've considered suicide, but I know that its not a viable option, but it still feels like the only way out.
Also, i have a liver problem that doesn't let me take any of the anti-depressants, so that's not something i can try either.